Psychological abuse and gaslighting examples
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
Yeah. Mine said that if his marriage was happier he wouldn't do it. He did it so he could tolerate his marriage. Interesting. Because I spent the whole time walking on eggshells around him to keep him happy. He would often say I was the easiest person he had ever lived with... unless I wanted to talk about rehab... then suddenly his marriage was intolerable for some bullsh*t reason.
Originally Posted by honeypig 
Once, when I told XAH that I thought he really needed to get some help, and that I would do anything I could to support that, he said to me "And what if I DO get better and then find out I don't like being here any more?" I did manage to say "well, then, you'd better find that out sooner rather than later, right?" before dissolving into tears. I still didn't take any real action for years after this, though...and of course HE didn't. Should I be grateful to him for being so dedicated to our marriage that he wouldn't rock the boat by getting help for his active alcoholism? 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 109
Let me ask this...
I was on the other side of this where my Aex was leaving me...and I said things that sounded...well let me state it
When she ran off with another guy after rehab, I tried to “save” our relationship and said things like “we were beautiful together” or “how can you do this to us” or “please talk to me about this” or “is there absolutely no future for us” or “we can make this work” or “are you sure you aren’t being too brash and quick to come to this decision (only a month in rehab and poof we are done)” or “don’t you care about us and our future” or “I’m not the one gaslighting, if anyone is being gaslit, it is me”
I am just being honest, and I guess I would like your opinions if I was being manipulative? I certainly don’t feel like I was being considering she cheated on me and left with another man. I loved this woman deeply, we were engaged, and I wanted to make it work. I was willing to put in the effort, but she didn’t seem to even want anything to do with me. A full 180 from before the month in rehab. She then went on a bender and now isn’t back in rehab...still planning to go back with this other addict.
Sorry to change the subject, but I guess a good question is is what I was saying Codie quacking? I don’t think so, but please be honest. It’s just if it is coming from the other end, it doesn’t seem so clean cut.
I was on the other side of this where my Aex was leaving me...and I said things that sounded...well let me state it
When she ran off with another guy after rehab, I tried to “save” our relationship and said things like “we were beautiful together” or “how can you do this to us” or “please talk to me about this” or “is there absolutely no future for us” or “we can make this work” or “are you sure you aren’t being too brash and quick to come to this decision (only a month in rehab and poof we are done)” or “don’t you care about us and our future” or “I’m not the one gaslighting, if anyone is being gaslit, it is me”
I am just being honest, and I guess I would like your opinions if I was being manipulative? I certainly don’t feel like I was being considering she cheated on me and left with another man. I loved this woman deeply, we were engaged, and I wanted to make it work. I was willing to put in the effort, but she didn’t seem to even want anything to do with me. A full 180 from before the month in rehab. She then went on a bender and now isn’t back in rehab...still planning to go back with this other addict.
Sorry to change the subject, but I guess a good question is is what I was saying Codie quacking? I don’t think so, but please be honest. It’s just if it is coming from the other end, it doesn’t seem so clean cut.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 109
*is back in rehab.
Correction.
Still planning to move off to Miami with him. Left me broken hearted after standing by her. Never saw it coming. This isn’t about me though, as much as I want to keep the discussion pertaining to gaslighting or manipulation.
Correction.
Still planning to move off to Miami with him. Left me broken hearted after standing by her. Never saw it coming. This isn’t about me though, as much as I want to keep the discussion pertaining to gaslighting or manipulation.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by trailmix
Joel,
Doesn't sound like gaslighting, manipulation or "codie quacking" to me.
You asked reasonable questions, you stated how you felt, honestly. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
Doesn't sound like gaslighting, manipulation or "codie quacking" to me.
You asked reasonable questions, you stated how you felt, honestly. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.
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