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Ugh, blast from the past

Old 09-25-2016, 09:02 AM
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Ugh, blast from the past

I just got a call from a location that usually displays when a friend of mine calls. I answered, and the person asked for "Kelly." I was still thinking it was my friend, and I said, "Who?" He said, "This is XX." (Insert name of my last ex.) I said, "Sorry, you've got the wrong number," and hung up.

I checked the number called from (which was vaguely familiar) and it's his business phone number.

The last time I got a call from this guy was close to ten years ago, when he called to complain about the sale of the property we owned together. I got ONE email from him about two years ago, saying he was going through his address book and wondered whether I still had the same email address. I deleted without responding.

I can't believe he's still in business, but he did often call customers. I'm supposing it was an actual misdial, maybe to someone with a similar number (we shared the same phone number for years).

Still, it was disconcerting to hear his voice. I'm glad he didn't try to start a conversation, and that he hasn't called back. It took 15 minutes for my adrenaline level to go down.

Ugh.
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Old 09-25-2016, 09:18 AM
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I've bet...hate blast from the past situations. Hugs to you

I had my ex contacting me over FB asking me to purchase something for him in the US since he could not get it at home. I have not talked to the guy for 15 years prior to that. The nerve.....

I sent him a link to the website where he could purchase the item by himself.
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Old 09-25-2016, 09:23 AM
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He didn't recognize your voice? Bizarre.

Yes, it is like a hand reaching up out of the cemetary plot...I remember vividly my XAH calling me after five years back in the days before caller ID. Goose bumps, and not in a good way.

I hear burning some sage is a good technique for exorcism?
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Old 09-25-2016, 09:47 AM
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I agree, it's a heart thump-er.

I was doing errands yesterday and driving over the highway. I look over at a car stopped at a light and it was my X. He was cleaning his pot pipe out the window like he had done so many times with me. Of course he was busy and didn't notice me driving right by him. My heart started pounding just like you Lexie. This is the 2nd time I have seen him on the road since no contact 3 1/2 months ago, but who is counting.

My life is so much better that I don't have these heart thump-er's on a daily basis. Enjoy your beautiful fall day!!
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Old 09-25-2016, 10:35 AM
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Lexie
Both you and Maia seem unflappable, as much as I can tell from just knowing you in a "cyber" way.
What you two described though, is enough to make anyone a little bit "flappable".
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Old 09-25-2016, 10:36 AM
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Well, it's pretty hard to recognize a voice from just "Hello" and "Who?" And as soon as I said he had the wrong number, I hung up. So if he recognized it then, it was too late.

It seemed odd because if he was calling for a customer, one would think he'd say "This is XX, from YY business." Yes, the company has his last name in it, but one would still say it. And one would ask for the customer by first and last name.

Maybe he wanted to have plausible deniability if he wanted to see how I'd react to his calling?

I know I'm overthinking it, and it really doesn't matter. I'm just going to have that surreal feeling for the rest of the day.
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Old 09-25-2016, 10:41 AM
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And maia, what kind of idiot cleans his pot pipe in traffic while stopped at a stoplight? AMAZING.

Thankfully, I believe he still lives a county or two away from me. I did have that weird moment a few months ago, that I posted about, where I thought I saw him from the back at Lowe's (it turned out not to be him, but I still had the adrenaline surge).
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Old 09-25-2016, 11:38 AM
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Wow, cue the "Twilight Zone" music, Lexie...yes, maybe some sage for exorcism, plus tossing a little salt over your shoulder!

Probably the weirdest phone thing I ever had happen was when I actually DID hear a dead person's voice on the phone! My BIL had called me and I returned the call. I didn't get him on his cell and thought I would try his landline since whatever it was was something of some urgency. I looked up the number, dialed, and almost fainted to hear the voice of my sister, dead some years before that of breast cancer, on the answering machine recording! Holy carpfish, that threw me for DAYS! I'm sure he kept it for some kind of comfort or remembrance, but I was NOT prepared for that, not in the least.
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Old 09-25-2016, 12:38 PM
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I had an old boyfriend message me on Facebook just to say hi. I mean, this goes back 40 years. Weird. We exchanged pleasantries and that was that. I don't know why he reached out. It's a mystery, like why my 4 digit magic bank account sign in just up and disappeared one day. I loved that code.
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Old 09-25-2016, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by honeypig View Post
Wow, cue the "Twilight Zone" music, Lexie...yes, maybe some sage for exorcism, plus tossing a little salt over your shoulder!

Probably the weirdest phone thing I ever had happen was when I actually DID hear a dead person's voice on the phone! My BIL had called me and I returned the call. I didn't get him on his cell and thought I would try his landline since whatever it was was something of some urgency. I looked up the number, dialed, and almost fainted to hear the voice of my sister, dead some years before that of breast cancer, on the answering machine recording! Holy carpfish, that threw me for DAYS! I'm sure he kept it for some kind of comfort or remembrance, but I was NOT prepared for that, not in the least.
OMG, that would have thrown ME, for sure! Brrr....
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Old 09-25-2016, 07:08 PM
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Double ugh. I just got an email.

"The ONLY reason I called today was because I woke up with a strong feeling something was terribly [wrong] in your part of the world." He went on to say he knew it was me that answered, that he would "know my voice anywhere" and he "let it go to be polite." He signed off "Go in peace."

Oh, fer cryin' out loud. If you're so concerned something "terribly wrong" (unsurprisingly, he typed "wrong" wrong) is going on, why be chickenshit and pretend you're calling for somebody else?

He often had these "premonitions" and I'm not aware of a single one that ever actually was true. He was very woo-woo about stuff like that.

I almost had myself convinced it was just a wrong-dial. Crap.

No response needed to the email. I'm being permitted to "go in peace," so I guess that's the thing to do.
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Old 09-25-2016, 07:57 PM
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A silly and unnecessary nuisance for you, Lexie.
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Old 09-25-2016, 08:24 PM
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LOL, I should write back,

"Funny, I often have feelings that things aren't so hot in YOUR part of the world. Of course, I'm basing that primarily on the phone calls I still get from your creditors, who don't seem to be able to locate you. If you'd care to give me your current address, I'd be happy to make sure they can find you so you can resolve these dreadful problems."

I won't poke the bear, but the thought of doing it IS amusing....
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Old 09-25-2016, 09:39 PM
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I can only imagine how fast your heart was pumping. The type of heartbeat that feels like it's in your chest nearly all the way up to your brain.
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Old 09-25-2016, 10:12 PM
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Lol, Lexie, I agree you shouldn't send it, but I definitely appreciate the humor in your email response!!

And it's interesting to hear that after all these years you still have the same physical reaction to him...makes me feel more normal 3.5 years out for wondering if that will ever fully disappear. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 09-26-2016, 01:57 AM
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*shudder* I get it, I totally do! There is an ex of mine from years ago that became a bit stalker-ish who made me so unnerved once by calling me that I accidentally locked my keys in my car!
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Old 09-26-2016, 05:28 AM
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Well, I didn't have that "physical reaction to him" when we were together, or even after the breakup. It's more that with time, I've realized how damaging that period of my life was, and encountering him just kinda brings all that up in a rush.

Let me put it this way--I see no good that could come of our having a conversation.
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Old 09-26-2016, 05:55 AM
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Hey Lexie!
This little story might help lighten up the situation, especially regarding his creditors:

The once was a tribal chief on a remote south sea island.
His subjects loved him so much, that every year they gave him a new toilet for his birthday.
He would take the older toilet and stow it in the attic of his grass hut.
Eventually the hut fell down from all the weight.
The moral of the story:
"Those who live in thatch huts shouldn't stow thrones."

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Old 09-26-2016, 11:02 AM
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Yuck. I used to keep my ex's current address and phone number so I could give it to creditors when they call.

I have an ex that likes to email me every now and then. I automatically hit delete. He's an extremely toxic person and I have zero desire to speak with him.
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Old 09-26-2016, 11:52 AM
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It isn't alcohol related but it is trauma related. My brother who is estranged from the family called me about a month ago. We haven't spoken in probably 5 years and my mom hasn't spoken to him in 3.

He traumatized me as a child and we were never close. I instantly had physical visceral reactions. It was PTSD instantly! I thought I'd be over it, and had I made the call or knew it was coming, I'd have probably been OK.

But the fact that it came out of the blue and I was unprepared, it kept me up for 2 days afterwords.

It was a self serving call for him. He wanted to let me know he was moving out of country and that when mom died, he wanted to be given notice so he could come back to get his portion of the Will.

Now under normal circumstances I would have been prepared to respond responsibly, and explain to him what my responsibilities were when that time came. And go through my laundry list of proper responses. Instead all I could think of to do was say OK Thanks for letting me know. I just wanted to hang up and block that number from my phone.

I have no more clue how to find him now, than I would have before he made that call to let me know. And in the end that will probably be a GREAT advantage to avoid a long protracted family drama at will reading time.

But in the meantime, I hope he finds a faraway place to go crawl into, that doesn't have International calling capacities.
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