LOL, I should write back,
"Funny, I often have feelings that things aren't so hot in YOUR part of the world. Of course, I'm basing that primarily on the phone calls I still get from your creditors, who don't seem to be able to locate you. If you'd care to give me your current address, I'd be happy to make sure they can find you so you can resolve these dreadful problems."
I won't poke the bear, but the thought of doing it IS amusing....