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Break up email

Old 03-28-2016, 08:47 PM
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Break up email

So, into the history books goes relationship with nice ish seeming guy who decided to EMAIL me and tell me that my xAH's behavior concerned him for HIMSELF and that as a result he could not see me anymore...

Not sure I can totally blame him, but way to be a total jacka$$ and email me to tell me this vs having the decency to man up and tell me to my face...

There was more to it than that but the jist of it is that xAH's reputation precedes him, and this guy decided my value was directly tied to the concern about xAH turning his crazy on him...

And I haven't gotten into any sort of detail with him about xAH. This is what he's dug up himself I guess to make him alarmed.

So it appears whether it is friendships for my kids or relationships for me, unless I move cross country, xAH or his reputation are going to continue to cause harm.

Sigh.... Better to know this now I guess...
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Old 03-28-2016, 08:59 PM
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Arghh Wanttobehealthy!

Are you laughing or crying? I'm not saying the situation is funny but sometimes things just seem so bad that it is almost good.

I do hope i haven't offended you here WTBH but I just find so many "Prince Charmings" so absolutely non charming and non princely that I have to laugh.
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Old 03-28-2016, 09:11 PM
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Awwww, I'm sorry. If he isn't willing to stand by you through the crap your ex is putting you through, then yes, you are lucky to find that out now. It's just a shame that he wasn't man enough to talk to you about it in person. What a wimp.
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Old 03-29-2016, 07:07 AM
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Breaking up by email is very low indeed.
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Old 03-29-2016, 07:14 AM
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Sometimes people go looking for reasons just because they're really good at the first few weeks of newness and oxytocin highs and rainbows and kittens, but can't handle the realities of negotiating a relationship with an actual human being.

So, in short, he may be full of it and this doesn't mean you have to move to Pluto to avoid the taint of your ex. The right guy will admire what you've been through and survived.

Have a hug.
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Old 03-29-2016, 07:20 AM
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Hugs, friend. I agree with everything above. The right guy will stand by you, not run away bc of your crazy ex. And yes-what a crap (and immature) way to handle things-shows a lot about him!
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Old 03-29-2016, 08:01 AM
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Please try not to take it too hard. His actions are his actions, his opinions are his, and he is entitled to them. And he is also entitled to the possibility of being wrong. Hey, at least he did tell you how he felt, not face-to-face, true, but at least he did not pretend.

Just keep working on yourself, and good, genuine people, both men and women, will come into your life. It is the law of attraction.
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Old 03-29-2016, 08:08 AM
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Hugs. As others have said, so much better that you know now. You will the one who will be there for you through all the crazy and the good times too, and you are worth it.
Breaking up with you by email is a total coward move, good riddance!
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Old 03-29-2016, 08:13 AM
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That is low from anyone when you break up over email or text. Just plain cowardly, honestly. I can understand his concerns but still. You want a man who will defend you and want to protect you and yours from your XAH if he is someone who causes harm or dysfunction. Hugs and prayers to you. I'm sorry it went down this way.
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Old 03-29-2016, 08:30 AM
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I had my qualms after his texts of a few weeks ago and I have been very cautious about what I share and don't as I don't need to "lead" with drama about the x...

So what irks me most here is that he drew a whole lot of conclusions, assumptions and presented as facts, a whole lot of things that are outright wrong.

And I am in no way, 4 months into this, going to spend time trying to explain to him how he has it wrong.

Anyone who makes up their mind about a matter without speaking to the other person and getting some broader knowledge to inform their decisions, deserves to miss out...

I'm supremely annoyed with what a wuss he was to email me and frankly the email is more annoying than it would have been if he'd gone totally silent...

It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...

Someone who doesn't want to ask a question or talk to me face to face, doesn't warrant my reply to his pathetic email...

Lame. His loss.
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Old 03-29-2016, 08:34 AM
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So it appears whether it is friendships for my kids or relationships for me, unless I move cross country, xAH or his reputation are going to continue to cause harm.
Naw - your ex isn't you. This guys just wasn't it, and that's ok - cowardly as he was. It is absolutely good you know now.

It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...
YES - high five to you!!!
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Old 03-29-2016, 08:35 AM
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...
I was thinking the exact same thing!

How weak of him, but good that he showed his true colors early on so you don't waste your time.
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Old 03-30-2016, 03:27 AM
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Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy View Post
I had my qualms after his texts of a few weeks ago and I have been very cautious about what I share and don't as I don't need to "lead" with drama about the x...

So what irks me most here is that he drew a whole lot of conclusions, assumptions and presented as facts, a whole lot of things that are outright wrong.

And I am in no way, 4 months into this, going to spend time trying to explain to him how he has it wrong.

Anyone who makes up their mind about a matter without speaking to the other person and getting some broader knowledge to inform their decisions, deserves to miss out...

I'm supremely annoyed with what a wuss he was to email me and frankly the email is more annoying than it would have been if he'd gone totally silent...

It's a good indication of progress for me that I did not reply and try and "explain"...

Someone who doesn't want to ask a question or talk to me face to face, doesn't warrant my reply to his pathetic email...

Lame. His loss.
I agree with you totally! But man... It would have been hard for me to not reply with something really sarcastic like "Hey, thanks for the email! Classy! Glad you feel better about yourself now with your revisionist storyline... Have a nice day! "
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Old 03-30-2016, 08:00 AM
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Well, that seems to me a bunch of BS. Either he is a jerk, or a wimp. If he were a man worthy of you, he would have offered you additional support for all you have went through. He is just not the one. I'm sorry friend.
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:27 PM
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So, the story has continued... of course...

A new email where he ACTUALLY ASKS ME to explain some things to him regarding some questions he has because he thinks Im worth giving this more consideration.

Again, SO HARD to not reply with any number of things...

But I won't. No good will come of it.

It appears once again ladies and gentlemen, I successfully snagged myself a narcissbag-- a mixture between a narcissist and d-bag...

Not classy of me at all to use the latter word but frankly if the shoe fits...
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:30 PM
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I think the only appropriate response is nothing....or goodbye.
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:32 PM
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What is this, a job interview? If you answer the questions correctly he'll reconsider?

What a pretentious, arrogant tool.

If nothing else, you've got to be feelng pretty darned good about the way this turned out for you! Bullet dodged...whew!

P.S. Block him. Hmmm...on the other hand, the expression "Get over yourself" might have been invented just for this situation...
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:54 PM
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Is there a way to block someone on *****? If so I would LOVE anyone who could tell me!

I do not know how to do it if there is a way, so the email amused me more than anything and totally made me realize "bullet dodged"...

I am not going to give him the satisfaction of a response at all. I suppose I'm letting him occupy my mind a bit by venting about it here but after a long day at work and homework battles with my kids, to find that BS email just made me shake my head and not having anyone in my house to vent to about it, I figured that sharing it with you all was a good choice!
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:57 PM
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Here ya go. This one will actually delete the email.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMEdnyXJviw

How to block someone on *****.
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Old 03-30-2016, 06:59 PM
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A quick google and here you go...https://support.google.com/mail/answer/8151?hl=en

All that does is dump him in your junk folder, but at least that's where it belongs!
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