I'm a police officer trying to help a guy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 213
I've nothing new to add to all the suggestions.
I just want to say "Thanks", there are a lot of police out there that chose law enforcement as a career to help, contrary to what the media will have us believe.
You're a good person
I just want to say "Thanks", there are a lot of police out there that chose law enforcement as a career to help, contrary to what the media will have us believe.
You're a good person
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Wellington, NZ
Posts: 250
Hey there,
I think it's really cool you want to help this guy, so good on ya :=] It does sound a wee bit, though, like you want to fix him. That just doesn't work, I reckon. Like others have said, he's got to want to change himself but I think the entire process of dealing with/to an addiction isn't anywhere near that simple.
How about taking a simpler approach to him? I'm guessing he's pretty isolated socially, so maybe take him out for a cup of coffee and just spend a bit of sober time with him? For me, a big part of not drinking is realising there's a billion things out there to do that don't revolve around alcohol. It sounds like a small step, but it could be a big one. Take care.
I think it's really cool you want to help this guy, so good on ya :=] It does sound a wee bit, though, like you want to fix him. That just doesn't work, I reckon. Like others have said, he's got to want to change himself but I think the entire process of dealing with/to an addiction isn't anywhere near that simple.
How about taking a simpler approach to him? I'm guessing he's pretty isolated socially, so maybe take him out for a cup of coffee and just spend a bit of sober time with him? For me, a big part of not drinking is realising there's a billion things out there to do that don't revolve around alcohol. It sounds like a small step, but it could be a big one. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Originally Posted by Addmik19 
I've been a cop for a couple years since 21. I've met a dozen people drunk. Something different about this guy. I drank heavy for 6 months but nowhere as heavy as this man. Bothers me I can't help him. Just know he's a good guy and I don't want to have to pick up his dead body and have to tell his family about it.
Addmik, I've read some of your earlier posts, and I'm a little confused about your story. You tell us here you weren't/aren't an A, just used to be a heavy drinker for 6 months, then decided to stop and did so w/no problems. However, in an earlier post, you say you were an A for 2 years, drinking 20 or more beers a night, isolating yourself from family and friends during recovery and having severe anxiety. Those are 2 pretty different scenarios--which one is real?
I see you've spent time in the Alcoholic forum, and I'd think that by this time, getting the type of answers you're getting here wouldn't be any big surprise to you. It's great that you apparently want to help the guy, but I'm really doubting that ANYONE here at SR is going to tell you that there is some way to get him sober w/o him wanting it himself or making an effort. You might realize greater benefit by focusing on your own recovery. As others have said, he's an adult, he has choices, he almost certainly is aware of resources like AA. Up to him to utilize or not.
You have choices too--I wish you the best in your own recovery.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 1,854
Originally Posted by Addmik19
I work as a policeman on the east side of oklahoma in a small town. There's a guy that lives here. A good man, very nice guy. He's always drunk. I've spoken to him many times. I'm a young officer (24) and hes in his early 50s. I'd like to help him but just can't. He told me it takes him 30 beers to get a buzz but he don't stop drinking then. I meet him every morning buying a tallboy of beer to start the morning. Now as a policeman I want to help this guy. He lives in a shack and works only for the beer he drinks. Is there anyone out there that had maybe been in his situation that could maybe help this guy? Thanks in advance
It sounds to me like he has lost hope in life, he has nothing to reach out for, live for, nothing to stop drinking for. I think people have to have hope. I think the question is how do you give someone hope when they have nothing, or no one in their life.
I think there are lots of things could help him after he detox's especially mental health services. If you live in a small town then maybe you could run it past some professionals, social services see what might be available. Then I would read up on community reinforcement because this is a technique used to motivate people to reach goals in obtaining treatment and sticking with it. I dont think its something you could do alone, but for example there are some counselors who encourage participation and sober behavior by providing vouchers, yes almost like an incentive plan and the goal is to keep them taking tiny steps until they can motivate themselves fully.
Sharing because you asked for a different approach.
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