Fly N Buy

AA.org is a good place to start for filtering down to local meetings. Also, call a rehab clinic/hospital - they'll be able to tell ya as well. The websites for AA are not always 100% accurate.

WendyOR

Addmik, I must say this was like a breath of fresh air to see this from you. As all have stated, if he doesn't want to quit or have some desire, it is likely he will not. Are you sure he has a family? Many addicts lose their family, sometimes because the family has to leave the addict to protect themselves from violence, from emotional abuse, for the kids sake to have a healthier adulthood, many, many reasons. Then there is the flip side where the addict abandons the family as they are going to keep him or her from his or her one true comfort, and that is the substance. No story on this site is the same, but you will see many, many situations that are very similar in the behaviors of an addict. All walks of life, and economic stature. All different ages, and all different stories, yet, one thing that is common, in all, is their need for that substance. You should be proud of yourself for wanting to help. You know those people you pull over for a dui? Keep doing it. Keep us safe, keep them safe. I bet, over half of those people are most likely addicts. My statistics may be wrong. But I believe so from working in a bar for many years and seeing many people night after night... the same people... talking about life. I would tell them to go home and be with their families.... I would try to be a friend. I just could not work that job anymore as the money was good but so many sad feelings I would get seeing these wonderful people turning to the bottle and a barmaid with their issues instead of a counselor, their family, AA, etc..... Keep holding the law and the standards. When you arrest them for whatever reason... just know, there is another side to the story as well... they have or had people who love them so dearly. People who want them to be better. People that want them to be happy and healthy.... people that are trying to be good partners, kids, parents, siblings, etc.... but each of these people would like their own live to be happy and healthy as well. Read up here. Lots of reading. Educate yourself, and share with your fellow officers. I would suggest.... if you see him around... maybe take an extra moment to get little snippits of his life... where does he work... kids.... no kids.... wife? What did his dad do for a living while he was growing up. Perhaps he will look up to you, an officer of the peace, and open up... and maybe you can get a feel if he wants to stop or not? I used to go buy pillows when they were on sale and take them down by the mission and I would hand them out. Funny... they would go to take the pillow... and I would say... this isn't free... I get 15 minutes of your time. I would sit on the sidewalk with them and just talk... I don't know what they liked more, someone listening or a soft pillow....

Taking5

Just google Your City, Your State AA meetings. If you are in Arkansas and you work in OK then I have been to a few meetings up there in NE Oklahoma, specifically Grove OK right on the Lake of the Ozarks. PM me and I will see if I can hook you up with someone there if this is close enough.

Also, please tell me that you get medical attention for someone who has seizures while they are locked up. This is a guy that could actually die from NOT drinking, unless he has the proper medical care.

As an aside, I actually looked up the officer that gave me a DUI and thanked him. - although it took me a few years to get straightened out. I'd like to think there is a thank you headed your way someday.

anattaboy

You can lead a horse.....same with us drunks. I was steered to AA by judges, cops, friends at age 19 and am sure it made an impression but the want to quit had to come from pain. Kudos to your efforts--you are making an impression... Oh, and most of us are "good people".

awuh1

Start by calling 501-664-7303 (your local AA hotline). Ask is there is anyone who can speak with this guy. I like what desypete said above. There is often a wrench for difficult nuts

This drunk is in luck if he has you in his corner.

DoubleBarrel

Arkansas Central Office of Alcoholics Anonymous

Thanks for being a good cop.

The truth is, people like him are exactly who AA was designed to treat, in essence low bottom alcoholics.

Alcohol was much more tolerated back in the day, when people had martinis over lunch and booze was featured at every social function.

So, yeah, AA could help him. Plenty of formerly homeless people with no one in the program. It will give him a social network, support, even people willing to offer employment sometimes.

As far as seizures in jail, if you do have to arrest him, inform WHOEVER that this WILL happen again if he goes without alcohol for a significant time. It could KILL HIM.

I don't know if he can be baker acted in your state, but again, if he doesnt want it, he isnt going to get it.

Addmik19

Yeah I've spoken to him. Said it makes him to sick. This man has no doctor, no nothing. Alcohol has taken his life from him. Not his whole life but a good 40 years spent drunk. That's a lifetime to me. Glad everyone on this SoberRecovery knows about AA. I'm guessing the only advice in here is to tell him to go to AA. Well he won't. Was hoping maybe there was someway to help this man. I'll tell him to go to AA just like any other cop would instead if reaching out to people that could have been in his situation. I came here to find something different. AA is good. I believe in God but it is not for everyone. There are some stories on here I will try out and I thank you. But it sickens me I get the same advice from people who have been addicted to alcohol vs judges, lawmakers etc. I know jail or aa isn't the only option

SparkleKitty

Addmik, you get the same advice here because SoberRecovery is a collection of thousands upon thousands of years of experience in this arena. It may not be what you were looking for, but it may be what you need to hear. Recovery has to come from within. None of us are powerful enough to change another person, even if we insist on calling it "helping" or "saving" them from themselves and their choices.

Eddiebuckle

You can find local meetings and other resources at this web site for AA in OK:

AA Oklahoma Home Page

FireSprite

I guess I don't understand what you expected to hear.... many of the people that responded to your post ARE recovering alcoholics & are telling you what their real-life experience is. We're not a bunch of Negative Nellies who just like to trash-talk addicts. The REALITY is that no one can force an addict to quit something if they don't have the internal drive & desire to do so for themselves. You say he lost his life to alcohol, I'd say he traded it because he's had free will & the power of choice since Day #1. He didn't just pick up a beer & end up here, 40 yrs later. There's a lot of road in between.

Of course AA isn't the only way, but I can assure you that alternate methods are even more complicated for someone without a support system or the money for expensive rehabs. Without the internal desire you would be setting him up for failure, IMO.

DoubleBarrel

He needs medical detox. Thats why hes terrified of quitting. Can you get him into a hospital as an officer?

If he gets arrested, hes going to HAVE to go to a hospital.

One great thing about AA is it is FREE. Not sure why you are resistant to it, but it could work for him. If its just the god thing, well, Im an atheist, and I go to AA, so thats really a non issue.

Sungrl

I agree with FireSprite and DB. As I asked before I don't understand what you were expecting to hear. I suppose you could throw a pillow case over his head ,stick him in the trunk of your car and take him to detox and rehab. Just kidding, but I don't understand your resistance. Maybe have a local social worker check on him and offer some solutions. I'm sure an advantage of you being a police officer would be knowing someone in the proper field to pay him a visit.

KidsR#1

If he is drinking that much and does decide to quit, he needs to seek medical attention. He could have seizures during the withdrawal among other symptoms that could be life threatening. When my AH went to his doctor to talk about quitting he was hospitalized so that he could be monitored.

Unfortunately, he has to want to quit and want the help to get sober before there is anything you can do. You could just leave it as an open invitation. Such as, if you ever want a ride to an AA meeting, give me a call or something like that. There are definitely AA meetings in your area, you probably just don't know about it. If it is an open meeting you can also attend, even if you want to just get a better understanding of the disease and what A's struggle with.

If you were able to quit after drinking heavily for 6 months then you were very lucky that you didn't become addicted.

CAPTAINZING2000

I've attended many meetings at a rehab. Many stay sober for the treatment and go back to drinking again after they get out.
You can lead a horse to water or in this case lead a drunk to AA the results are the same.
Without a desire on his part to stop drinking most efforts are futile.

It gets pretty cold here in the winter where I am. The drunks used to commit petty crimes to get locked up over the winter. That's the insanity of this disease.

Fly N Buy

YOU may want to go to some Al-Anon meetings my friend......Might find some answers you are seeking.

As far as God and AA - there are many, many agnostics and atheist's in that crowd as well.

Bill W was the founder of AA and listed by TIME as one of the 100 most important people of the 20th century. Others on that list include Einstein and Gandhi.

THAT is why AA comes recommended so often as possible reprieve from Alcohol. Also, it's funded by voluntary contributions = a buck in the basket! Shouldn't sicken you, but maybe reinforce why Drunks like us, as well as judges, lawyers etc recommend.

Sungrl

Personally, I put Bill W in the top 10.

If he wants the help he will find it

hopeful4

The Salvation Army has inpatient treatment and I believe it is free. You may also want to check into Celebrate Recovery if he has any sort of religious background or faith. I say that b/c they will feed him before the meetings also.

If he really wants to get well there are resources. Most areas have what's called a First Call For Help or something similar. These are people who can direct you to community resources. I am guessing as police you may know about this. However, if he has the want to get well (and he does have to want it, you won't be able to force him), the Salvation Army may be the way to go.

You are obviously a kind and caring person, it's great because it sounds like he really needs that since he does not seem to have anyone else. Sometimes it's encouragement from the least likely sources that can trigger someone to get help. All you can do is try.

God Bless You. Stay safe in your career and continue to spread goodness to those that need it.

Hammer

OK. You have received the same information over a couple (dozen?) times, but are still having a hard time with it.

But first -- THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for being a Good Cop/Police Officer -- whatever title fits you best. Really, Thank You. I understand that you want to help others. Good there, too.

Have some (sometimes, too much) of that, myself. Did Fire Department time, and wound up an XO of an Army Medical Unit that would hop around the undersides of the world doing local care with the locals.

The condition *we* may share is a Wantabe Rescuer -- the Hero de Jour. We may think it is about "them" but really all that stuff is about *us.* Sorry to say so, or rush you, but you will eventually figure that out on your own, anyway. So then we go off like the Titanic in search of our personal Iceberg. Keep this up and you will find one.

BUT . . . understand this. Your buddy. This guy. HE does not have a problem with his drinking. He has more years experience with this than you have been alive if I am tracking correctly.

What *WE* work on here -- in the Friends and Family section -- is . . . *us.* Turns out that is only one we can help. (and only then if we really work at it and are lucky).

Maybe start with the Serenity Prayer? AA and Alanon is big on that.

Goes like this -- [bracket parts added by me]

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
[that would be "them."]
courage to change the things I can
[that would be us]
and wisdom to know the difference.

--------------------------------

So if you would like to consider Alanon, you may get some real benefit from it.

First thing Alanon usually teaches is something they call the 3-C's.

YOU --
did not Cause it,
cannot Control it, and
cannot Cure it.

POAndrea

Next time he faceplants on the sidewalk, drive him to the ER, not the jail. If BAC is too high to house him safely, your jailor will refuse him and make you take him there anyway, at the very least until he sobers up enough not to die in custody. Even if s/he will book him in, he won't stay long because he'll have to go to the hospital as soon as he starts having seizures from the withdrawals. When his blood pressure gets too high, he'll have to go. A hospital social worker will know about all the resources available in your area and can take it from there.

Refiner

Oh, you wanted the Silver Bullet! Well, why didn't you just say so in the first place? Ok... here it is for you, Addmik: THERE IS NO SILVER BULLET. Most people come here thinking if they just get some advise from others that have been through it, they can go out and "fix" it. It takes awhile until they begrudgingly realize what being an addict and what it takes to recover is all about.