Nervous Day....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Nervous Day....
Well, today I go and pick up my final divorce papers (yay).
Things have went well this week. My XAH came over yesterday for a couple of hours to spend with the kids before my little daughter's ball practice bc it was not until 7:30. He has not been to any of those and wanted to go. He very politely asked me if he could come over and offered to stay in the basement if he did. I said yes, that I had stuff to do and he did not have to stay in the basement, just don't come upstairs to the bedrooms. It went well. I told him that is not something I want to do on a regular basis. He knows that. He is living w/his sister right now and would have had to add an hours drive if he went to her house then came back for ball.
We drove separate to the field, he cheered on our little girl (which was nice, he normally would just sit there like a lump), a nice time was had by all. Don't worry here folks, I am not changing my mind about him. He is an unstable person that I don't trust. However, I want happiness for my kids and last night they had that and that makes me happy for them.
So...today I get the final divorce papers. I am very scared he won't sign them. I have been scared of this from the get go. He said he would, but we will see. I just want to not be married to him anymore. I want his stuff out of my house. I want freedom from this and not have this divorce looming over my head.
All I can do is pray that he will sign them and we can move on. If you pray, please say an extra one for me today.
Thank you for reading and letting me ramble on.
Things have went well this week. My XAH came over yesterday for a couple of hours to spend with the kids before my little daughter's ball practice bc it was not until 7:30. He has not been to any of those and wanted to go. He very politely asked me if he could come over and offered to stay in the basement if he did. I said yes, that I had stuff to do and he did not have to stay in the basement, just don't come upstairs to the bedrooms. It went well. I told him that is not something I want to do on a regular basis. He knows that. He is living w/his sister right now and would have had to add an hours drive if he went to her house then came back for ball.
We drove separate to the field, he cheered on our little girl (which was nice, he normally would just sit there like a lump), a nice time was had by all. Don't worry here folks, I am not changing my mind about him. He is an unstable person that I don't trust. However, I want happiness for my kids and last night they had that and that makes me happy for them.
So...today I get the final divorce papers. I am very scared he won't sign them. I have been scared of this from the get go. He said he would, but we will see. I just want to not be married to him anymore. I want his stuff out of my house. I want freedom from this and not have this divorce looming over my head.
All I can do is pray that he will sign them and we can move on. If you pray, please say an extra one for me today.
Thank you for reading and letting me ramble on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I am just getting the papers today. Once filed it will take 45 more days. But this is the moment of truth, he will sign all we have agreed on or he won't. In this state it is 30 days from the day of separation.
So this won't get me divorced today per say...but it will be the papers that are filed to the courts that we agree (or don't) on.
Thanks Everyone!
So this won't get me divorced today per say...but it will be the papers that are filed to the courts that we agree (or don't) on.
Thanks Everyone!
Originally Posted by MissFixit 
Good luck. I hope things flow smoothly.
How on earth were you able to get divorced so quickly? In my state you have to be legally separated for at least a year.
How on earth were you able to get divorced so quickly? In my state you have to be legally separated for at least a year.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Originally Posted by hopeful4
In this state it is 30 days from the day of separation.
If he has a change of heart during the 45 days, can he withdraw them? Will you be on pins and needles during that time, or will it essentially be completed (no take backs) once he signs?
Are you okay? Mixed feelings?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I think once he signs he will not change his mind. That is why I am on such pins and needles until he signs these docs. He is all over the place, very nice one second and a butt the next, so I want him to sign and get it filed.
I am ok. I don't have any mixed feelings, it's all very clear in my head that this is what needs to happen. I know I am supporting my kids in the best way I can. I continue to prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I will continue to work on me. I am already a much happier person, lots of people have told me they can see that change. I think that is what sets him off really, because he is miserable and as the old saying goes, misery loves company! However I know that my relationship with my kids is better b/c I am not carrying around all the anger and anxiety that comes with living with an addict. It's not perfect nor will it ever be, but I am 100% certain I am doing the right thing and doing the best I can.
Thank you so much for all of the support! It means more than I can ever say!
I am ok. I don't have any mixed feelings, it's all very clear in my head that this is what needs to happen. I know I am supporting my kids in the best way I can. I continue to prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I will continue to work on me. I am already a much happier person, lots of people have told me they can see that change. I think that is what sets him off really, because he is miserable and as the old saying goes, misery loves company! However I know that my relationship with my kids is better b/c I am not carrying around all the anger and anxiety that comes with living with an addict. It's not perfect nor will it ever be, but I am 100% certain I am doing the right thing and doing the best I can.
Thank you so much for all of the support! It means more than I can ever say!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Saying prayers for you. Will continue to pray till he signs those papers. My ex filed for the divorce and he still held it up for a year and a half, even after being charged with contempt, and having to pay my attorney for 1 court date for wasting our time.
Good luck, and thinking of you.
Good luck, and thinking of you.
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by hopeful4
Well, today I go and pick up my final divorce papers (yay).
Things have went well this week. My XAH came over yesterday for a couple of hours to spend with the kids before my little daughter's ball practice bc it was not until 7:30. He has not been to any of those and wanted to go. He very politely asked me if he could come over and offered to stay in the basement if he did. I said yes, that I had stuff to do and he did not have to stay in the basement, just don't come upstairs to the bedrooms. It went well. I told him that is not something I want to do on a regular basis. He knows that. He is living w/his sister right now and would have had to add an hours drive if he went to her house then came back for ball.
We drove separate to the field, he cheered on our little girl (which was nice, he normally would just sit there like a lump), a nice time was had by all. Don't worry here folks, I am not changing my mind about him. He is an unstable person that I don't trust. However, I want happiness for my kids and last night they had that and that makes me happy for them.
So...today I get the final divorce papers. I am very scared he won't sign them. I have been scared of this from the get go. He said he would, but we will see. I just want to not be married to him anymore. I want his stuff out of my house. I want freedom from this and not have this divorce looming over my head.
All I can do is pray that he will sign them and we can move on. If you pray, please say an extra one for me today.
Thank you for reading and letting me ramble on.
Things have went well this week. My XAH came over yesterday for a couple of hours to spend with the kids before my little daughter's ball practice bc it was not until 7:30. He has not been to any of those and wanted to go. He very politely asked me if he could come over and offered to stay in the basement if he did. I said yes, that I had stuff to do and he did not have to stay in the basement, just don't come upstairs to the bedrooms. It went well. I told him that is not something I want to do on a regular basis. He knows that. He is living w/his sister right now and would have had to add an hours drive if he went to her house then came back for ball.
We drove separate to the field, he cheered on our little girl (which was nice, he normally would just sit there like a lump), a nice time was had by all. Don't worry here folks, I am not changing my mind about him. He is an unstable person that I don't trust. However, I want happiness for my kids and last night they had that and that makes me happy for them.
So...today I get the final divorce papers. I am very scared he won't sign them. I have been scared of this from the get go. He said he would, but we will see. I just want to not be married to him anymore. I want his stuff out of my house. I want freedom from this and not have this divorce looming over my head.
All I can do is pray that he will sign them and we can move on. If you pray, please say an extra one for me today.
Thank you for reading and letting me ramble on.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
