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For the Mom's

Old 06-06-2002, 08:29 PM
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For the Mom's

A friend of mine just sent this to me via e-mail.

Lessons from Mom....


MOM taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning!"

MOM taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

MOM taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

MOM taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

MOM taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

MOM taught me about being a CONTORTIONIST:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

MOM taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

MOM taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

MOM taught me how to solve PHYSIC PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen
then?"

MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
exaggerate!!!"

MOM taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

MOM taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have
wonderful parents like you do!"

And most of all .....MOM taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world-and I can take you out."
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Old 06-07-2002, 02:10 AM
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Ann
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Oh Smoke - THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!! I am up early and rarely laugh until after my first coffee, but I'm falling off my chair here. Thanks!!!

Hugs
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Old 06-07-2002, 02:39 AM
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JT
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LOL!!!

I think I inherited a few of those sayings...and when I started to sound like MY Mom...it knocked me into next week... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="eek.gif" />
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Old 06-07-2002, 07:50 AM
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Ann
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My mom taught me I had a lot in common with Jesus

"Close that DOOR...where you born in a barn?"

and how to do the "pretzel dance"..."don't get your knickers in a knot!!"

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Old 06-07-2002, 07:58 AM
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JT
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I know what you mean Anns!!!

<img src="http://www.animationlibrary.com/Animation10/Food_and_Drinks/Salted_Snacks/Pretzel_dances.gif" alt=" - " />
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Old 06-07-2002, 11:03 AM
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Right on JT!!!!

I am practicing that pretzel dance. LOL

<img src="http://www.metroactive.com/papers/cruz/05.01.97/gifs/stage-9718.jpg" alt=" - " />

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Old 06-07-2002, 11:10 AM
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Ann
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AND THIS "QUEEN MUM' THOUGHT SHE HAD PROBLEMS!!!!

<img src="http://www.usatoday.com/life/gallery/royal-family/queen-mum.jpg" alt=" - " />

AND WHERE DID YOU HIDE MY HORMONES, CHARLES???"
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