For the Mom's
A friend of mine just sent this to me via e-mail.
Lessons from Mom....
MOM taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning!"
MOM taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
MOM taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"
MOM taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
MOM taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."
MOM taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
MOM taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
MOM taught me about being a CONTORTIONIST:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
MOM taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
MOM taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
MOM taught me how to solve PHYSIC PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen
then?"
MOM taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't
exaggerate!!!"
MOM taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"
MOM taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have
wonderful parents like you do!"
And most of all .....MOM taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world-and I can take you out."