What is the most frustrating advice a normie has given re dealing with an alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,218
Originally Posted by blake1989 
I went to my psychiatrist recently (rarely go more than 1-2x a year) for some anxiety meds because things are tough now.
I related my situation with my alcoholic girlfriend and he said "At least it sounds like you two have a good time when she's not drinking."
I related my situation with my alcoholic girlfriend and he said "At least it sounds like you two have a good time when she's not drinking."
Oh, MAN!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 156
Originally Posted by OnawaMiniya
Oh yeah! Definitely! It's not like resentment builds/they act like nothing happened once they're "sober"/it's hard to have "fun" with someone who was just treating you like total crap, etc...
Oh, MAN!
Oh, MAN!
How can I even force myself to have fun with you?!~
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Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,218
Originally Posted by bird13
ugh!!! so true!!! I'd like to tell that to the alcoholic themselves. HELLO! You just treated me like total crap.
How can I even force myself to have fun with you?!~
How can I even force myself to have fun with you?!~
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Originally Posted by OnawaMiniya
Oh yeah! Definitely! It's not like resentment builds/they act like nothing happened once they're "sober"/it's hard to have "fun" with someone who was just treating you like total crap, etc...
Oh, MAN!
Oh, MAN!
This right here is why i feel nuts the next day.
After ah just got done acting stupid and chewing me out and then once sober wonders why i am distant.
Who doesn't like being called a b**** lol
Sober times don't make up for the drunkness
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: San Diego, ca
Posts: 268
I didn't receive any advice like a lot of you received from Normies. What I received was "just walk", "just leave". Like most of us, I had a very hard time detaching from him. I started not talking about him to my friends because I was embarrassed that I still wanted to be with him. So I minimized the problems. I had one friend where our relationship has never been the same. I think she lost a lot of respect for me because of the lingering breakup. I still feel a lot of shame. I think Normies don't know what that intense unhealthy attachment feels like. I sure didn't until it happened to me.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I watch you when you are with him at parties. Why won't you even talk to him? Maybe you should stop being a b!tch and he will pay more attention to you. Maybe you should put on sexy lingerie, or maybe just have sex with him, I'm sure that would work. You're just too stiff.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by amy55
I watch you when you are with him at parties. Why won't you even talk to him? Maybe you should stop being a b!tch and he will pay more attention to you. Maybe you should put on sexy lingerie, or maybe just have sex with him, I'm sure that would work. You're just too stiff.
wow
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Just got one today when I asked some friends about how they handled the stress of raising teenagers (adding that mine may be worse than most because of their past experiences). Three of my friends each in so many words told me it was my own damn fault my kids are troubled and that they would never have allowed their spouses to drink the way I allowed AXH to drink.
Dumbfounded. Because you know no man ever had a drink without getting his wife's permission.
Dumbfounded. Because you know no man ever had a drink without getting his wife's permission.
Bunnies!
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,905
Originally Posted by lillamy
Just got one today when I asked some friends about how they handled the stress of raising teenagers (adding that mine may be worse than most because of their past experiences). Three of my friends each in so many words told me it was my own damn fault my kids are troubled and that they would never have allowed their spouses to drink the way I allowed AXH to drink.
Dumbfounded. Because you know no man ever had a drink without getting his wife's permission.
Dumbfounded. Because you know no man ever had a drink without getting his wife's permission.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Normies - I can't even fault them for any of this - I USED to be one!
After deciding I was falling in love with my best friend of 6 years that "drank too much," I confided in another dear friend about my dilemma.
I told her - he makes me so happy, we spend all of our time together, he loves to camp and fish as much as I do, and he's not threatened by my hobbies and that is so hard to find! He cares about what's important to me in life, and he disregards the superficial. I think he feels this way about me too. BUT, he drinks more than a person should. I don't know how much but it's a lot.
She said - "That's just because he's single and it will stop when he settles down in a relationship. He is just doing it because he's bored and that's what he and his other single friends do."
Worst advice I've ever taken....but it's advice I probably would have given to some poor codie 5 years ago as well. Hindsight....if only I knew then what i know now!
After deciding I was falling in love with my best friend of 6 years that "drank too much," I confided in another dear friend about my dilemma.
I told her - he makes me so happy, we spend all of our time together, he loves to camp and fish as much as I do, and he's not threatened by my hobbies and that is so hard to find! He cares about what's important to me in life, and he disregards the superficial. I think he feels this way about me too. BUT, he drinks more than a person should. I don't know how much but it's a lot.
She said - "That's just because he's single and it will stop when he settles down in a relationship. He is just doing it because he's bored and that's what he and his other single friends do."
Worst advice I've ever taken....but it's advice I probably would have given to some poor codie 5 years ago as well. Hindsight....if only I knew then what i know now!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Oh
ABF told the doc at his physical that he drinks a gallon of vodka a week (yeah, on the modest end) and his crazy GF thinks that's too much - the brilliant doc said
"Well, that IS too much, but 2 drinks a day is healthy."
Psst...Doc....1 drink to an A = about 6-8 drinks to a non A. Genius.
ABF told the doc at his physical that he drinks a gallon of vodka a week (yeah, on the modest end) and his crazy GF thinks that's too much - the brilliant doc said
"Well, that IS too much, but 2 drinks a day is healthy."
Psst...Doc....1 drink to an A = about 6-8 drinks to a non A. Genius.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
This weekend from the father in law:
(regarding Mrs. Hammer and I)
"You all need to work on your communication."
I just laughed.
The kids and I have spent the last year learning how to NOT GO to Crazy Land Conversations with his daughter.
Which means stop talking with her and get away when she tries to take us to Crazy Land.
Aint no real communication in Crazy Land.
He had called, and I was telling him that I would be bringing the kids to his house on Christmas Eve, and had all that handled. He asked if Mrs. Hammer would be along. I told I did not know when she would be in nor anything about her particulars, and that he should probably ask her.
So that was when I got . . . .
"You all need to work on your communication."
Yeah. Right back at cha.
(regarding Mrs. Hammer and I)
"You all need to work on your communication."
I just laughed.
The kids and I have spent the last year learning how to NOT GO to Crazy Land Conversations with his daughter.
Which means stop talking with her and get away when she tries to take us to Crazy Land.
Aint no real communication in Crazy Land.
He had called, and I was telling him that I would be bringing the kids to his house on Christmas Eve, and had all that handled. He asked if Mrs. Hammer would be along. I told I did not know when she would be in nor anything about her particulars, and that he should probably ask her.
So that was when I got . . . .
"You all need to work on your communication."
Yeah. Right back at cha.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
Just something I was pondering today...normies think we have some ability to control our As. That's pretty much what it comes down to. And if they are drinking in spite of our efforts...
Then we aren't wearing the right clothes.
We aren't approaching them thoughtfully.
We haven't figured out the right words to offer them.
Our homes aren't clean enough.
We aren't as much fun as we used to be.
We don't let them come home and unwind.
We don't go out and have fun with our As.
We are too uptight about drinking.
Someone else (like them) would know what to do to make them stop but we are too (impatient, bitchy, unsensitive, stupid, sexless) to have done the right thing that would make them cut it out.
Well, normies, go ahead and give it a go. When you turn into one of us, it'll be the next fool's turn.
Then we aren't wearing the right clothes.
We aren't approaching them thoughtfully.
We haven't figured out the right words to offer them.
Our homes aren't clean enough.
We aren't as much fun as we used to be.
We don't let them come home and unwind.
We don't go out and have fun with our As.
We are too uptight about drinking.
Someone else (like them) would know what to do to make them stop but we are too (impatient, bitchy, unsensitive, stupid, sexless) to have done the right thing that would make them cut it out.
Well, normies, go ahead and give it a go. When you turn into one of us, it'll be the next fool's turn.
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