Has Alcoholism Ruined the Holiday Season for Anyone Else?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 525
Thank you ALL for these truthful, heartfelt stories. Each one is heartbreaking, tearful and full of sorrow. Thank you for sharing so others feel less isolated, alone and self-blaming.
I've been sober for years now, but I wasn't always. Through the help of people on SR and books and other resources I was able to stop being an embarrassment and a hassle for others.
It's taken more than 2 years for my life to really start to thrive. I had to find real friends and learn to enjoy being in my own skin without the nag, nag, nagging hassle of chemical dependency bringing discomfort. Now I can sit and listen to other people talk, and I share lots of laughs with them while i'm drinking seltzer. I wake up the next morning happy with a feeling of deep connection that I shared with the new people in my life.
But I just witnessed the awful effects of alcohol as someone else tried to use it to ease their party anxiety. I'm at a Halloween party and there are lots of adults, some drinking, some not, most everyone laughing and enjoying themselves. One women kept refilling her wine glass and started expressing thoughts she probably wouldn't have if she were sober. It was a bit embarrassing for her, but I felt more pity than anger.
Now I see she's not coming around anymore, because she probably realized the next morning what she did and she was angry with herself. So she'll probably isolate more.
Ugh! The disease does bring a lot of pain to the active drinkers.
And I know it brings a LOT of pain to you too, the family & strongly-connected people in your As life.
I don't have any big insights. But your stories are powerful, and I really connected with each one. Thanks!
I've been sober for years now, but I wasn't always. Through the help of people on SR and books and other resources I was able to stop being an embarrassment and a hassle for others.
It's taken more than 2 years for my life to really start to thrive. I had to find real friends and learn to enjoy being in my own skin without the nag, nag, nagging hassle of chemical dependency bringing discomfort. Now I can sit and listen to other people talk, and I share lots of laughs with them while i'm drinking seltzer. I wake up the next morning happy with a feeling of deep connection that I shared with the new people in my life.
But I just witnessed the awful effects of alcohol as someone else tried to use it to ease their party anxiety. I'm at a Halloween party and there are lots of adults, some drinking, some not, most everyone laughing and enjoying themselves. One women kept refilling her wine glass and started expressing thoughts she probably wouldn't have if she were sober. It was a bit embarrassing for her, but I felt more pity than anger.
Now I see she's not coming around anymore, because she probably realized the next morning what she did and she was angry with herself. So she'll probably isolate more.
Ugh! The disease does bring a lot of pain to the active drinkers.
And I know it brings a LOT of pain to you too, the family & strongly-connected people in your As life.
I don't have any big insights. But your stories are powerful, and I really connected with each one. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Yep... alcoholism ruined Holidays for us or should I say me. Last Christmas, I had planned to have our kids over with my brother and his kids and have a very nice meal since my brother did Thanksgiving. I had planned it around my, my husband's and my brother's off days so we all could enjoy it together.
3 weeks before Christmas, he went on a bender and called off work. My brother called at 2am to ask me where he was (I was at work) n I told him he better be at work! (They work at the same place.) He was not there and so I called him and he didn't answer. He called me back n I asked him, Where in the F are you?! He said in a King Baby voice... My neck hurts (Had C3-C4 done in July of 12') and I told him he was a f'in liar! He was drunk! Thanked him profusely for ruining our Christmas because now I would not be able to buy all the food for our guest and gifts for the kids! Went home and had to refrain from throwing the tree out the front door! Christmas was OVER before it ever came! It hurt to look at the tree!
That Christmas has been on my mind all year and even more so now that the Holidays are upon us. I almost feel, even though he's sober, that it has ruined the way I feel about Christmas because he was a selfish assh*le because his drinking was so much more important than me, his son, son's GF, my children, and my brother and his kids.
First 4th of July Holiday we got off together this year was suppose to be great! Go out, eat, watch fire works... NOT ride in a helicopter to the trauma center! Holidays are becoming just another day to me. If I can work them, I do! That is that! I told him just today, I'm working Thanksgiving night and I'm NOT making a big dinner for anyone! He said he's going to put in for overtime too.
3 weeks before Christmas, he went on a bender and called off work. My brother called at 2am to ask me where he was (I was at work) n I told him he better be at work! (They work at the same place.) He was not there and so I called him and he didn't answer. He called me back n I asked him, Where in the F are you?! He said in a King Baby voice... My neck hurts (Had C3-C4 done in July of 12') and I told him he was a f'in liar! He was drunk! Thanked him profusely for ruining our Christmas because now I would not be able to buy all the food for our guest and gifts for the kids! Went home and had to refrain from throwing the tree out the front door! Christmas was OVER before it ever came! It hurt to look at the tree!
That Christmas has been on my mind all year and even more so now that the Holidays are upon us. I almost feel, even though he's sober, that it has ruined the way I feel about Christmas because he was a selfish assh*le because his drinking was so much more important than me, his son, son's GF, my children, and my brother and his kids.
First 4th of July Holiday we got off together this year was suppose to be great! Go out, eat, watch fire works... NOT ride in a helicopter to the trauma center! Holidays are becoming just another day to me. If I can work them, I do! That is that! I told him just today, I'm working Thanksgiving night and I'm NOT making a big dinner for anyone! He said he's going to put in for overtime too.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 565
Just remembered something from last holiday season:
XA: Can I please be with you and the girls for Christmas?
Me: I don't know, CAN YOU?
XA (all huffy and insulted): Of course, do you think I can't be sober on Christmas?
Me: I know you can manage to be sober on Christmas. But I need EVERY DAY TO BE CHRISTMAS.
XA: (speechless for once - I had him there.)
XA: Can I please be with you and the girls for Christmas?
Me: I don't know, CAN YOU?
XA (all huffy and insulted): Of course, do you think I can't be sober on Christmas?
Me: I know you can manage to be sober on Christmas. But I need EVERY DAY TO BE CHRISTMAS.
XA: (speechless for once - I had him there.)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 156
I despise halloween for this reason. Thanksgiving and Christmas are not so bad as my bf family does not drink so when we visit them he resides to the driveway sipping out of .. I can't remember the name of those irish .. drinking containers.. lol.
Anyway, he is in the driveway.
Halloween this year was the worst for me. He came home plastered, blacked out, yelled at me, dumped his clothes on the floor saying he was leaving, woke up his sober friend on my sofa who was sleeping, then made the proclamation that I am being the bitch and he doesn't have to take it. (this was just instant reaction to.. nothing I did.) Woke up in the AM, blamed me, embarrassed me in front of his sober friend, and slammed the front door. Didn't see him the rest of the weekend. He was off nursing a hangover from hell and resenting ME somehow for it? And drinking more. AMAZING.
I hate halloween. That party we went to, the nice dinner I made for him and his friends, my night was ruined. I didn't get any sleep, and my weekend was lonely. total mess.
Anyway, he is in the driveway.
Halloween this year was the worst for me. He came home plastered, blacked out, yelled at me, dumped his clothes on the floor saying he was leaving, woke up his sober friend on my sofa who was sleeping, then made the proclamation that I am being the bitch and he doesn't have to take it. (this was just instant reaction to.. nothing I did.) Woke up in the AM, blamed me, embarrassed me in front of his sober friend, and slammed the front door. Didn't see him the rest of the weekend. He was off nursing a hangover from hell and resenting ME somehow for it? And drinking more. AMAZING.
I hate halloween. That party we went to, the nice dinner I made for him and his friends, my night was ruined. I didn't get any sleep, and my weekend was lonely. total mess.
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