mrschoices

The childhood stuff has to be looked at and the pain has to be gone through, yes - in order for the patterns to change. I'm with you...you are not alone.

But I like to take responsibility for who I am today and what my part is in things. We're all adults. Sounds like you are willing to do that.

My part is simple. I thought this was the best it could get for me. I settled for situations that were waaaaay less than the Higher Power wants for me.

I can stay stuck in that angry, rage full place at my parents or I can see the gentle loving truths and change my sex ideal.

If there are other things - maybe I wanted to marry for security or simething else happened - i like to go way back to the beginning and sit quietly with God and adk myself what was going on at that time...then there's another Area to work on.

Seeing our part is good. It gives us something to change and breaks up the resentment at the other person.

I wish you the best.