I have to admit when I called the alonon number and asked questions the lady told me alonon teaches you how to live with an alcoholic, she has lived with one 36 out of the 39 years she has been married... I THOUGHT OH NO I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE WITH ONE I WANT HIM TO STOP.
I am glad I hung in there and found this place because alonon is working in a way I had never thought. I used to make my self sick worring about how many beers he had, looking for his stash, yelling crying,begging,threatening, wishing for my life the one I wanted.
I have learned a new peace,I do not hear the " I'm trying" line anymore I just say to him I'm trying to. I do not hear the " you are pusing me away line as he is about 3 sheets to the wind" I just say " you are making me a stronger person" I know my AH will never stop he signed himself out of detox, goes about 1 day without is and says he has to have just 1 to calm the shakes.
I know this is not how I want to live my life, my kids are all suffering because of this. BUT I have found a new peace and security within myself to make the choices I need to make for me.
I no longer think I can save him, I no longer think I can make him stop, and I no longer think if he loves me he will stop.
I have stoped going anywhere with him, and I have stoped trying to talk to him when he has been drinking, which is everyday. I have learned to trust in God. And not in my husband. I deserve a better life then this. and I know I do thanks to alonon. and I must say my Husband hates that I am going of course I am not an enabaler anymore.