Dazimae,
Thank you for this post. This is such an important thing for everyone to grasp. Al Anon is NOT about learning to live with an alcoholic. It is about learning to live...period. Some choose to stay but they stay with their eyes wide open. Some choose to leave but only after learning, like you, that what they want in life is not what they have.
Learning what we want and being able to see clearly what we have makes both those choices possible. And we are able to live in peace either way.
Hugs,
JT