jessiec

Do you believe in a Higher Power?

Mine is God. I've really rediscovered and gone so much deeper with my Christian faith and relationship with God in the last year. My struggles on every level - personal, financial, health, relationships -- had me in such a state of turmoil. ABF and I began going to church together ... although it was a formality, but not a true commitment. It wasnt until things were at their worst with us when I really learned to let go and let God.

He has since worked so much magic in my life. I'm peaceful, I'm joyful, I'm completely off my antidepressants and another medication that I took for panic attacks. We're celebrating RABF's 5 months of sobriety!

Does everything go perfectly all the time and do I get everything I want? No. But it's not all about what I want. It's about doing God's will. I strive to do that more each day. I trust he's in control and that he will help me get through whatever comes my way.

Thanks for listening!

Tuffgirl

Took me a long time and a lot of soul searching to be able to "turn things over" and have faith that I am right where I need to be right now. But I am here, and it really does help.

Thanks for sharing your story.
~T

Cwbugycody

My higher power is deffinetly God almighty. With out him I could have never made it to 47 days clean and sober. I can do all things through him! I feel very lucky to have such a loving and caring God. It is through his power and grace I will make it a nother 47 days.

jessiec

Awesome, Cwbugcody!!!!!!

Rosiepetal

I think God just showed me a lesson I needed to learn.
Thank you God.

CentralOhioDad

Because of all the goings-on that I've been thru with Wife this year, and the finances, and everything else - I too have been growing closer to my HP (GOD) as well. And you guys have helped me with that. Reading the stories of letting go and letting God has really helped me find some peace and serenity, and not try to fight what's going on with her.

Thank you

outonalimb

((((Jessiec))))

Thanks for this beautiful post. What you've written is so true...and so beautiful.

I've been thinking alot lately about what it truly means to 'turn it over'. It's easy to say I'm going to turn it over to God. It's hard to put into practice sometimes. What does it really mean? I'm not sure. Sometimes I think I turn it over only to take it back several times throughout the day...sometimes several times throughout the hour!! Back and forth it goes like a hot potato!! I know how it feels when I really manage to turn it over and LEAVE IT THERE...it feels peaceful. What a great feeling. I think it takes practice. I know for a fact that I need God's help to do it because I am weak and fearful.

I saw a quote the other day that really resonated with me...It said "I'm not afraid of tomorrow because God's already there". Isnt' that a great quote? God is already there...preparing the way. He's got it covered. He's proven to me time and time again that He will take care of me and see me through whatever comes my way.

If God is already there...what do I have to fear? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Hugs and peace...

Mary

MsPINKAcres

The God of my understanding is my very best friend ~ His plan for me is beyond my comprehension ~ I am so grateful for all He has & continues to do ~

Sometimes I cannot fathom why things happen the way they do ~ but regardless of what happens ~ His love, peace, comfort & guidance always walks me thru ~

My God is absolutely PINKFantabulous ~ lol

pink hugs!

Hopeworks

I also have deepended my faith and have a closer relationship with my HP through the program of Alanon and going through and living the 12 steps.

As Bill W. said "First of all, we had to quit playing God".

When I finally crawled off my own personal throne and truly surrendered myself and my XA I found the path to peace and serenity I had never had ... ever! And I had a conversion experience in the eighties and considered myself a Christian all of those years!

It is the surrender... the truly letting go... the step into the space of real trust that we begin to have that blessed hope that all will be OK. All of us... even if it doesn't turn out the way WE WANT!

The illusion of control was an illusion that I clutched so hard it hurt. I can't control anything and life is uncertain and sometimes scary. But it also beautiful and I am so much happier than I have ever been!

And that is from my HP and the peace I have found and this new path of self discovery and connecting with God.

This will give you a laugh. I listened to a podcast of an alanon speaker and she said her friend was so happy now that was an alanon and said she had become:

The man she had always wanted!

I like to tell women that they are the person they are looking for! Now I can add you can be the man you are looking for too!

How funny! Isn't recovery great?

ODAT63

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. I know that everytime I feel sad or lonely is because I have lost contact with my higher power, once I connect life is much better. Keep in touch!

jessiec

Mary, thank you so much for that quote! I love it!

It such a relief to me, in all things, knowing I'm not in this by myself! What a relief to finally understand it's not all for us to figure out, fix, control everything!

jessiec

Thank you so much for responding, everyone! What a joy to read about your journeys and discoveries!

I would love to continue to post more about this aspect of alcoholism/recovery -- the truly rewarding walk with our Higher Powers! It's so lovely sharing these positive persepctives and would certainly inspire others! Maybe we could do a semi-regular check-in and post the jewels/joys we are experiencing?

The other day I came up with an analogy for my relationship with God. I feel like Ralphie in A Christmas Story! He does all this scheming, planning, plotting, worrying trying to get the object of his desire -- the Red Rider BB gun! At some point it finally dawns on him to go to Santa, "the big man! The head honcho!" (Of course, it turned to be his parents that bought it for him, but still ... he gets it in the end. He asked and he received.

I will catch myself occasionally agonozing about something and then realize, I haven't asked the *real* head honcho!

And even with all that said, I still manage occasionally to "shoot my eye out!"

Loopydays

My HP is wonderful- can't call it God , but whoever or whatever it's always with me. For years I have known of its presence, but in the chaos of my life chose to ignore the HP- but silently, faithfully it has been waiting for me.
Last summer I was sitting on a bench in the garden at 4.30 in the morning crying my eyes out, I had had enough- so I surrendered to my HP, apologized for ignorance of rejecting it for years and asked for help- ever since then I have been blessed with serenity and peace. There are times when I do feel in turmoil still, but that occurs when I have stopped talking to my HP.
Its impossible to describe my HP except that I feel incredible light and love surrounding me.
Life throws us strange lessons at time- I spent years crying and wailing over my emotionally absent husband, whilst simultaneously being emotionally absent to my HP - and yet I was forgiven in an instance. Now isn't that something to ponder upon!

dabrewsky

I belonged to a very religious christian family and growing up, I was taught that If I do wrong I would go to hell. Since I was in the program, I have developed a faith in what they call spirituality. What I most definitely know now is that my Higher power or God of my understanding is not a punishing God. He is a LOVING God, and I still refuse to go to a church which principal doctrine is that those who are not members (including my sponsor and AA home group) will go to Hell.