Here I Go Again
To thine own self be true.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Just received my first text from BF since deciding to go No Contact. I read it and that sent a flush of anxiety through my body. I wonder how many times I will have to do that before I stop reading them....
I let go of the outcomes of any of my actions or my inaction. I will act in my own best interest and not in order to achieve some end result. I give up the illusion of control. I do not know what is best for anyone but myself. If a person has a problem, it is up to them to realize it and do something about it. Not me. I choose not to put conditions on any relationships. I choose to allow people to be who they are. I choose to learn how to establish appropriate and effective boundaries with all who enter my life. I choose to allow others to have the dignity of self-regulation and self-determination, and to experience the natural consequences of their choices and behaviors. I choose to be happy with who I am and the life I lead.
I let go of the outcomes of any of my actions or my inaction. I will act in my own best interest and not in order to achieve some end result. I give up the illusion of control. I do not know what is best for anyone but myself. If a person has a problem, it is up to them to realize it and do something about it. Not me. I choose not to put conditions on any relationships. I choose to allow people to be who they are. I choose to learn how to establish appropriate and effective boundaries with all who enter my life. I choose to allow others to have the dignity of self-regulation and self-determination, and to experience the natural consequences of their choices and behaviors. I choose to be happy with who I am and the life I lead.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by Learn2Live 
Thank God you were able to keep them from moving in. I wish I had had the boundaries.
To thine own self be true.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I didn't want to live with anyone and I knew I didn't want to live with anyone. I SAID I didn't want him moving in, numerous times, but he moved in anyway. I set the boundary, and I communicated the boundary, but when the boundary was crossed, I did nothing about it. I think I was having so much fun and enjoying being with this person so much that I just did nothing. Even now I don't know what I should have done about it. I have a therapy appointment to discuss and see what I am missing. I also have gotten a book on boundaries from the library but so far it is not helping.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,781
I just wanted to offer some more (((((HUGS))))) :ghug3
I always have a difficult time looking at my life & the situations in it objectively while it's actually happening. I am one of those that truly benefits from distance in order to use rational thinking at times; so while I could point out a dysfunction in a close friends' life, I couldn't always successfully see that in my own. In hindsight, yes, I can see things in my life with much better clarity. This is one of the things I am working hard on correcting now.
I always have a difficult time looking at my life & the situations in it objectively while it's actually happening. I am one of those that truly benefits from distance in order to use rational thinking at times; so while I could point out a dysfunction in a close friends' life, I couldn't always successfully see that in my own. In hindsight, yes, I can see things in my life with much better clarity. This is one of the things I am working hard on correcting now.
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