lillamy

Oh, one more thing: I don't think step 9 is about being forgiven. It's about making amends and apologies whether or not the other person forgives you.

fourmaggie

@lillamy, i totally agree with your statement...

OMG! i can not believe the feed back on this question...and the answers are all awesome...i moved on from my "forgiveness" in my own way with out the other person acutally saying the WORDS....

we all do it differently..i am also impress of the recoverying As here answering...THANK YOU FOR SHARING your thoughts...and to everyone else...my first amends is to me....that is the hard one...

Danae

My XH was not an alcoholic, but had other addiction issues and was in a 12 step program. He NEVER made amends of any sort. Nothing. Went out of his way to make the next 15 years of my life as difficult as possible. All while going to this 12 step program! Grrrrrr.

I think a meaningful apology, while hard to hear, would have been great. I'm not holding my breath

Thanks for this thread. It has given me a lot to think about, especially about the value of forgiveness for the person who does the forgiving.

fourmaggie

I believe with all said and done...that quote says it all...and thanks for sharing from everyone!!