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Al-Anon Has Really Helped Me...

Old 02-27-2011, 12:46 PM
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Al-Anon Has Really Helped Me...

Most of my background story can be found in my thread in the introduction forum. (Why can't I post a freaking link to to this board in a thread on this board? I guess I am a troll?)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...alcoholic.html

Al-Anon has been a life saver for me. I cannot believe how much support I have found and how much working the steps has been helping me. Our relationship has also gotten better because we are now open about both of our recoveries.

I know that it will be hard but I am hoping that we are able to get through this.

Does anyone else have positive stories about Al-Anon?

Last edited by Dee74; 02-27-2011 at 05:49 PM. Reason: added link
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Old 02-27-2011, 01:34 PM
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Thumbs up Best thing I ever did for myself!

Al-Anon has been a life changing experience for me. It didn't start out that way, though. I was pretty resistant and looking for ways to "fix" or "change" my relationship with my alcoholic, or in other words, how to change him. Little did I know it was really about changing ME.

I am much calmer, more detached, and far more grounded in today than I have been in years. I look better, more healthy. I am an interesting person again, with my own life, dreams, goals, and opinions.

I recommend it highly, but admit that for me, it was a challenge to accept my reality and embrace the program in my own way. To take what works and leave the rest. To not worry about doing it right, but just doing it. And to accept its about the journey, not the destination. Good topic!

P.S. I don't think you can post links until you reach a certain threshold of posts.
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Old 02-27-2011, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Tuffgirl View Post
Al-Anon has been a life changing experience for me. It didn't start out that way, though. I was pretty resistant and looking for ways to "fix" or "change" my relationship with my alcoholic, or in other words, how to change him. Little did I know it was really about changing ME.

I am much calmer, more detached, and far more grounded in today than I have been in years. I look better, more healthy. I am an interesting person again, with my own life, dreams, goals, and opinions.

I recommend it highly, but admit that for me, it was a challenge to accept my reality and embrace the program in my own way. To take what works and leave the rest. To not worry about doing it right, but just doing it. And to accept its about the journey, not the destination. Good topic!

P.S. I don't think you can post links until you reach a certain threshold of posts.
I think you are right about the link. When I get three more posts I will post it so it's not so hard to find.
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Old 02-27-2011, 01:56 PM
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Al-Anon was a lifesaver for me also. I very reluctantly went to Al-Anon a couple of years ago as my AH was getting out of treatment ~ I really did not think that it would help me in any way. The first thing I noticed was that I was not ALONE! I felt like I was the only one who was going through this madness. People sat there and told MY story!

The second thing I noticed was that my anger was melting away... with knowledge comes power, and with power came a lessening of my fear.

I struggled and struggled (and still sometimes struggle) with acceptance, but the meetings, the literature and the friendships I've made have really, really helped me.
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Old 02-27-2011, 02:13 PM
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Changed my whole way of thinking and relating to people..but I really had to be down on my knees and surrender to the program because usually I suffer from a horrible case of terminal uniqueness and doingitmywayitis
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Old 02-27-2011, 05:03 PM
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Alanon is the best thing to happen to me in my adult life, like some of the others have said. It gave me back my life.

Like AA, Alanon only works if you let it-- in other words go to meetings often, and try to practice the principles in all of your affairs. Even more of a miracle can happen if you work the steps.

Many people like to argue that Alanon and AA have low success rates, and will make up statistics to support that (5 percent is very popular). The best I've ever heard it framed publically is Dr. Drew who, when asked about AA, said it has a 5 percent success rate overall, and a 100 percent success rate for people who actually do it. In other words, try and bend it to your will and it won't work as well.

IMHO most people try to bend both AA and Alanon to their will and, when it doesn't work, declare it a failure and say the problem is with the program.
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Old 02-27-2011, 05:18 PM
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I suffer from a horrible case of terminal uniqueness and doingitmywayitis


me too keepinon!

and personal exceptionalism.


Beth
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Old 02-27-2011, 06:44 PM
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Wink

Originally Posted by wicked View Post


me too keepinon!

and personal exceptionalism.


Beth
Adding my name here...and I had to learn to leave that at the door before stepping into a meeting! Now I am learning to leave it somewhere permanently. Just have to find a good place to leave it............ its a hard thing to let go of! Like a stray dog that remembers you fed it once, it keeps appearing when I least expect it!
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Old 02-27-2011, 10:32 PM
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I always said I would NEVER go to Alnon.
well...as a child of an alcoholic that is now MARRIEd to an alcoholic...um i guess I needed alnon way more than I thought.

My 3rd meeting is tomorrow. I love it.
I go. I sit. I listen. I can say whatever I am feeling (within reason) and not feel like I'm being judged. It's my safety zone so to speak.

I'm not walking on eggshells, or dealing w/ "oh that didn't come out the way I intended it" like I'm constantly having to do w/ my RAH who is so far on a dry drunk he may as well be carrying around a beer bottle.

It helps me. I'm not ready to speak...but I listen and I'm applying what I read in "Codependence No More" by Melody Beattie with it....it's working for me.

I'm coping. I'm setting my boundaries. I'm trying to decide (decisions are hard for us codies)...what "I" want for my future.

I really do recommend it for anyone involved w/ or who comes from an A family. It's a huge help in just the coping aspect of the disease process, even when they are in R.
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Old 03-01-2011, 06:52 PM
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Thanks Dee for adding my link.
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Old 03-01-2011, 09:55 PM
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I have heard quite a few folks in my group say they came to learn how to "fix their A" but that they realized they needed fixing too. I started going about 10 months ago. I had just moved out from my house and was suddenly not anyone's wife or mother. I did not know who I was! I did not know how to focus on me. I went to figure out who I wanted to be. So far it has been great. I learned so much about "my crazy" and have been able to let go of many negative feelings. I also have had wonderful opportunities for self reflection. This past year was the hardest of my life but I was still able to write a very long gratitude/lessons learned list. I thank Al Anon and the wisdom of all those folks and their experiences. I am so much more aware of what I want, what I don't want, and how to ask for it. Yes I still have tough days, and sad days, and can go back to crazy in a snap but now I recognize that and have tools to help me not stay in the crazy. A few people have commented about how I am a different person than I was a year ago. I look back and feel such compassion for the person I was then and how hurt, lost and frantic she was. I see that person often when there are newcomers to our AL ANon group. I hope I can share some of my wisdom and strength with them as so many have shared with me.
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