Al-Anon was a lifesaver for me also. I very reluctantly went to Al-Anon a couple of years ago as my AH was getting out of treatment ~ I really did not think that it would help me in any way. The first thing I noticed was that I was not ALONE! I felt like I was the only one who was going through this madness. People sat there and told MY story!
The second thing I noticed was that my anger was melting away... with knowledge comes power, and with power came a lessening of my fear.
I struggled and struggled (and still sometimes struggle) with acceptance, but the meetings, the literature and the friendships I've made have really, really helped me.