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Old 01-16-2011, 02:42 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wicked View Post
maybe that comfy blanket? it looks lovely and warm.
I love that blanket. It really is comfy and warm. He originally picked it out, then changed his mind to a different one, and I put my foot down.
Bed Bath and Beyond - everyone should have one.
(I am assuming you mean the one on the left, not the one on the right).
There's also a nice down one in the den that I like.

If anyone wants the other blankets, let me know. I have a down one with a hunting pattern on the other side, the ugly green one in the picture, a puke green one with tassels that looks like a fuzzy tablecloth material, and this one with about fifteen different colors in it (it looks a mess) that's all woven together.

I could start my own Pier 1 with this junk.
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Old 01-16-2011, 02:52 PM
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oooohhh...I want the one with ALL the colors in it!
See, I KNEW it was a catalogue!

scrolling back up to check out the offerings "clearance only" items.
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Old 01-16-2011, 02:55 PM
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Strarcat, I sure don't mean to be insensitive, but your story about your apartment is hysterical! At least your ex was neat.

My AH isn't. He has trash piled up all over the Southwest corner of our property. I'd say about half an acre's worth. I've been hauling it out of here at the rate of one truckload a week.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:01 PM
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oooo, ooo..how much for the table lamps???

seriously, My GOD, I about dropped my dentures at the debt load. Are you sure he didn't buy out a few catalogues??? I mean, several. Holy camoly!!!

I can recognize upscale pricey things when I see them most of the time..the 156K (you typed that correctly, right?) that is un-frigging-believable.
He could have gotten some truly incredible (yeah,, I once drooled over some bar-stools that were $7K a piece) pieces that hold some value!

He just needed more and more, right? I mean it is the hand towels that really tell the story to me. It is "merchandising" lay-out.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:01 PM
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You are not insensitive, not at all!

It is hilarious, and to be honest, I need to laugh about something. It's as ridiculous as it sounds, and reminding myself of that helps me keep moving forward. It feels good to laugh about it, after all the arguments I have had about it over the last six months, and I am enjoying every second of it.

Verbena, at least with your AH, you don't feel guilty throwing some of the stuff away. The simple truth of the matter is that I don't want to keep this stuff, I don't want contact with him, and so anything he is getting needs to be boxed up and I am hiring a small van to move it. (I am hoping to anyway, haven't called one yet.) Whatever is left I will divvy up as I see fit, but I'm trying to get his more personal items and the more expensive bits out and away. Then I can take the time with the rest.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:02 PM
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This made me crack up.......... My XMIL is the same- things too nice to use. Talk about inconvenience too! We redid her kitchen for a gift and put in new gorgeous counters and sink and applainces and everything. She won't use her sink now - she does not want water in it as it spots. Hello - its a sink.......So now she keeps a rubber bucket
thing in there you put your dirty dishes in and then she washes them with bath water in the laundry Room. WTH is wrong with people. :-) Bathroom is pretty though- you should have price tags on things.........
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:07 PM
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oh, heck yeah..as soon as I saw the bathroom,.I saw resort ads. LOL

internet yard sale! we want prices!

I sure hope things do reflect your taste also and that it is just a matter of too much of a good thing and separating out his and yours.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Live View Post
He just needed more and more, right?
Yes. It's not so much the furniture, it's his clothing, and his overall spending habits. He'd buy things, spend $50 on it, then decide he doesn't want it and throw it away. I have a box in the den worth $600 to any self-respecting antiques dealer, it's one of the old general store coffee boxes, complete with lid and all original paint. He collects tons of things - DVDs, clothing (Polo is his favorite, although he has maxed out cards at Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue), he owns at least one full tuxedo and about five $800+ suede jackets, antiques, books... He'll spend $2 for a one-page add in an old catalog, then $10 for a frame and $30 for a mat to hang it on the wall.
Then he decided I collect stuff, too, and picked all my collections - stamps, coins, kitchen angels, fiesta ware (I picked this one), animalhouse kitchen utensils, hand towels (LOL), art deco lamps (ALL over the bedroom), Annalee figurines, umbrellas, hats, old magazines...

Then there's the fancy dinners, hotels, trips, events, museum memberships, plays, etc. Here's the schedule he wanted for this Christmas, including the amount he intended to spend. (Only went to a couple, because then he got drunk and I hit my limit, keep in mind this is once per night, not simply once or twice a weekend):
Morimoto's - $160
Fleming's - $150
Anastasi - $90
Willow Inn - $60
Morton's Steakhouse - $120
Amada - $130
Estia - $120
Townhouse - $75
Savona - $120
Le Bec Fin - $250
Inn of the 7 Stars - $150
Le Castagne - $110
Porcini - $80
Blackfish - $90
Prime Rib Steakhouse - $140
Sansom Street Oyster House - $120
Tres Famiglia - $70
Na Brasa - $100
Butcher and Singer Steakhouse - $140

This is the list after I told him we had to cut back. He did add in three cheap places afterwards to show he was "cutting back" but he didn't really take any of the expensive ones out. I could have simply added the amounts and then mentioned that, but I think the list better conveys what he thinks he can accomplish / spend. But he can't.

He also spent $10k on Christmas gifts this year.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Live View Post
oh, heck yeah..as soon as I saw the bathroom,.I saw resort ads. LOL

internet yard sale! we want prices!

I sure hope things do reflect your taste also and that it is just a matter of too much of a good thing and separating out his and yours.
Most of it I am okay with - there are a few things I did not want on display, and some things I believe are alright for collectors but I don't want to be one.
I feel like I'm living at a yard sale, though, so yes - I need to take a lot of it down.

When G was in rehab I had my family up for a day, and my two little brothers spent a great deal of time trying to decide where to display their Christmas gifts to me. They ended up in not-quite-matching-but-pretty-good-for-an-elementary-school-boy sorts of locations, and I love them there, because it makes everything less "perfect" and more "me".
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:29 PM
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gulp. I would like to eat with him for just one month. (loves good food)

You know if you are a multi-millionaire, you can afford to do that (sometimes), but when you are carrying maxed out credit cards..whoa, you have some problems.
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Old 01-16-2011, 07:38 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Live View Post
oooo, ooo..how much for the table lamps???

seriously, My GOD, I about dropped my dentures at the debt load. Are you sure he didn't buy out a few catalogues??? I mean, several. Holy camoly!!!

I can recognize upscale pricey things when I see them most of the time..the 156K (you typed that correctly, right?) that is un-frigging-believable.
He could have gotten some truly incredible (yeah,, I once drooled over some bar-stools that were $7K a piece) pieces that hold some value!

He just needed more and more, right? I mean it is the hand towels that really tell the story to me. It is "merchandising" lay-out.
CHILLS ran down my spine when I read this last sentence: "It is a 'merchandising' lay-out'." ---as I peered to my right, and saw the GIANT Blu Ray and DVD collection in the case, complete with grouping by genre, AND some front facing titles, like you would see at the store...Oh yes, I am going to take a picture of this....It's the same thing you are describing.

It's truly spooky how much these As are alike when they say how different they are....
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Old 01-16-2011, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted by skippernlilg View Post
It's truly spooky how much these As are alike when they say how different they are....
But they can't be the same, because they're "not like those other people!"

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Old 01-17-2011, 12:08 AM
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those towels.. "just one more..."

XABF also had to order his mp3 CDs album art etc etc and it HAD to be perfect. Merchandising. I swear there's a trick!! Maybe they tweet? are they following the same blog? lol

The similarities never end.
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Old 01-17-2011, 05:27 AM
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just imagine how much more space you'll have for your things!

once you get rid of his collections, you can put what you want in those spaces...like your toiletries, your makeup...

it must be kinda fun packing it all up and taking your life and your space back. a new start.
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Old 01-17-2011, 07:39 AM
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Thanks for sharing your pictures and your story. It's funny on the surface but there is so much more going on. You are like a caterpillar shedding it's cocoon - exciting stuff.
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Old 01-17-2011, 08:58 AM
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Originally Posted by whereisthisgoin View Post
Thanks for sharing your pictures and your story. It's funny on the surface but there is so much more going on. You are like a caterpillar shedding it's cocoon - exciting stuff.
It's fun, and funny, and exciting... and it's important to focus on that part, because otherwise I'll spend all my time in regret.

I was packing all his stuff and moving it to my car.
But on Saturday I bought a new car, and I really don't want it there either.
I am going to pack up everything I can by Saturday, get some movers with a van to come, pick it up, and drop it all off at his mother's house. This way I don't feel bad that I threw out his stuff, but I still don't have to see him.

And then I can really enjoy the "new car smell". It's about time I had something for me for once, and getting out of my poor old rustbucket and into a brand new highly reliable car with the best warranty out there (7 years!) is the most responsible "me" thing I could do.
Not to mention, I can relax when I'm at home, instead of worrying how I'm going to keep 15 porcelain dolls dusted. (I think I'll pull those corner shelves out of the wall, box those up, and send them to him, too! Those were a pain to install...)

Most of the decorating in this apartment, by the way, was done while he was drunk!
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Old 01-17-2011, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted by StarCat View Post
It's fun, and funny, and exciting... and it's important to focus on that part, because otherwise I'll spend all my time in regret.!
You are doing great.

We had a huge two plus car garage in the house we shared and we couldn't park in there because it was always so full of junk (and beer cans) . That garage was a thorn in my side. I hated the actual garage and my head would explode each time I went out to chip ice off my frozen car. I mean I would actually glare at the garage and have hateful thoughts about it. I was such a nutter. I don't have to try very hard to make lots of analogies between that garage and our relationship. Sadly I also think it was a pretty good representation of the inside of my xah's head. Filled with old memories, jumbled thoughts, and totally un-functional due to large amounts of clutter and alcohol. Not able to discern what to keep and what to toss, unable to prioritize, never willing to do the work to finish a project.

Today, I have a garage that I can barely fit my car in. If I miscalculate an inch I'm going to lose a rear view mirror, lol, and a year later I still think to myself "I'm a lucky girl!" every time I get in my ice free, snow free car, parked in my perfectly functional, easy to maintain, alcohol free, always there, clutter free, garage.

Embrace the positives!
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