Goodbye......I cant do this anymore.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 53
Well ok I am also laughing at Naive's interpretation which I think, sadly is SPOT ON. The more I have "ignored" him the more he is e-mailing, smsing, leaving voicemails, calling friends etc. He is apparently "sober" and in meetings, working the programme etc. The sadest thing in all of this is BELIEVING that it was a sham. I just battle that some people are seriously like this. I battle that everything was a lie - he must be DAMN good or I must be really NAIVE. My therapist says it takes at least 30 days for them to "settle" and that I need to have BIG BOUNDARIES until then. She said he need to prove himself through sobriety and if we are to stand a chance in the future he has to learn to respect me, and I also need to respect me. The lows are so low, the highs are too short. So for today I will just continue to keep busy.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
You don't have to battle anything. It is his battle, he brought the distrust and deception on himself. That 'boy who cried wolf' scenario.
Your therapist is spot on, let him really embrace sobriety before trusting him.
They get a little kooky early in recovery. Multiple personalities and such. But it will even out as he feels better and his head clears up.
In the meantime treat yourself well, stay as busy as you can and ENJOY the calm.
Your therapist is spot on, let him really embrace sobriety before trusting him.
They get a little kooky early in recovery. Multiple personalities and such. But it will even out as he feels better and his head clears up.
In the meantime treat yourself well, stay as busy as you can and ENJOY the calm.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 427
Why do you want this guy? In what capacity is anything that he brings to the table good for you or what you need? I was in your position, 10 years ago. Now there are kids involved, and while I wouldn't trade them for the world, if I had only known then what I know now I would have thankfully bowed out of the relationship. Stay strong and take it for what it's worth. After 10 years on that ride, I saw run far and fast!
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
I can't come anywhere close to naive's excellent post....but, speaking as an AA'er:
Bull: and more bull. Any sponsor in AA would tell him to not be in a relationship until he has at least a year of sobriety.
Did you get the times and locations of his meetings?
He said he was giving up drinking that day, was back in touch with his sponsor and into AA.
Did you get the times and locations of his meetings?
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