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slipping........

Old 04-25-2010, 06:42 PM
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slipping........

A few days ago I posted about my AH beginning to slide down a slippery slope....back to actively drinking. Last night he was suppose to DJ a wedding and be home at about 11. I had been texting him earlier in the night and he was sharing about the wedding etc. Then about 8pm all his texts stopped......so around 11 no show, 12, 1, 2, and finally rolled in around 3am. No text or call saying he'd be late....obviously been drinking. Now we have a 3 DAY OLD son who just got home from the hospital.....REALLY? he's going to start doing this again NOW!!!!! I was proud that I did not engage w/ him, just slept. This morning I simply asked if he had drank and he said no got angry hung up on me. THen later he admitted he had...I told him to please not lie to me anymore and he said he didn't...really he didn't lie to me that morning???????? Not only that but he claimed not to have gotten my messages/calls the prior night...........funny he had deleted ALL his messages from his phone. I knew he was headed back here...now I'm scared a little....scared of what I know I will have to do....................
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Old 04-25-2010, 07:00 PM
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congratulations on your wonderful, beautiful, innocent.

i guess i'm a bit speechless -- it sounds as though mr. abusive is in your home? have you changed your mind? what can you do to insulate yourself, and keep everyone safe?
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Old 04-25-2010, 08:35 PM
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Welcome to your darling boy and brickbats to that miserable, lying and useless drunk who has made your life a living hell, and you to call yourself Mentally Exhausted.

You do not need this moron around and neither does your son.
How much more of this blather do you intend taking from this man, who treats you and his 3 day old son, like a bit of NOTHING. Finish with this rubbish and make a real life for you and your family.

For your own sake and this child's, tell the drunk to go away, and stay away.

God bless
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Old 04-25-2010, 11:42 PM
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THREE DAYS???

wow!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

WHatever you do -
remember to do it AFTER
insuring the physical safety of your new baby and yourself.

We're here if you need us.
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Old 04-26-2010, 04:29 AM
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Originally Posted by mentallyexh View Post
late....obviously been drinking. Now we have a 3 DAY OLD son who just got home from the hospital.....REALLY? he's going to start doing this again NOW!!!!! I was proud that I did not engage w/ him, just slept. This morning I simply asked if he had drank and he said no got angry hung up on me. THen later he admitted he had...I told him to please not lie to me anymore and he said he didn't...really he didn't lie to me that morning???????? Not only that but he claimed not to have gotten my messages/calls the prior night...........funny he had deleted ALL his messages from his phone. I knew he was headed back here...now I'm scared a little....scared of what I know I will have to do....................
Please don't ask an active alcoholic a question you know the answer to. You are setting yourself up for resentments, anger, and frustration. He was drinking because it is what he does and wants to do. You know he is drinking. period.

Asking him if he drank is giving him the opportunity to lie. You both know he lies to you. Why start your day with asking him to lie to you?

Your newborn son is dependent on you for all of his care. He is not powerful enough to change your alcoholic.

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable.
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Old 04-26-2010, 06:51 AM
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I am more impressed with the positive things I saw in your post. Just to remind you of what you are capable of doing.

You are taking care of and enjoying your baby! WOW and congrat!

You slept through the night instead of waiting up or worrying or whatever it is that you did before.

You recognize his problem and you alluded to having a plan to implement.

Seems to me that while fear is part of the picture for you - knowing what is in front of you and having a plan is also a part of this picture. So do what you need to do to keep taking care of the the precious ones in your life -and that includes you.

Keep us informed and do you have alanon support apart from this site? Keep in mind we have a chat room if you want to talk.
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Old 04-26-2010, 08:34 AM
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congratulations on your lovely newborn baby

my mum came to stay with me when I had my first, not my second, but I wish she had, get some POSITIVE support in place honey,

don't wait up for him, it is pointless, he can't do it, it appears that he WILL drink, and therefore he WILL lie, neither you nor your children need this, but until your hormones have stabilise and you have healed and are less tired it will be hard to make your decisions.

I cannot remember how many times I begged XH just not to lie, and he agreed, which was just another broken promise.

Is there anyone you can call on to help with some of the day-to-day stuff that a partner should be shouldering?
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