I am more impressed with the positive things I saw in your post. Just to remind you of what you are capable of doing.
You are taking care of and enjoying your baby! WOW and congrat!
You slept through the night instead of waiting up or worrying or whatever it is that you did before.
You recognize his problem and you alluded to having a plan to implement.
Seems to me that while fear is part of the picture for you - knowing what is in front of you and having a plan is also a part of this picture. So do what you need to do to keep taking care of the the precious ones in your life -and that includes you.
Keep us informed and do you have alanon support apart from this site? Keep in mind we have a chat room if you want to talk.