My drunk wife annoys me!
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Join Date: Sep 2009
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Al-Anon Family Group Online meetings. MIP Also provides Alcoholics Anonymous, Adult Children, ACOA and Child Abuse Survivors meetings and Chat!
There's a chat program and regular daily meetings there. I've "attended" the online meetings and got a lot out of them.
There's a chat program and regular daily meetings there. I've "attended" the online meetings and got a lot out of them.
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
Frank....
I am glad your wife saw the psychiatrist.
Two little bits I thought I would share with you.
1. Those meds take time to work, time to get in the bloodstream. There is an adjustment period with them. She may feel sleepy, spacey, etc from them until such time.
2. Alcohol and Lexapro DO NOT mix, especially for us alcoholics. I know this from a horrific experience I had.
The success of medication, is in direct correlation to her sobriety. I don't know if she is involved in a program or not, but, daily recovery work is vital.
Peace.
I am glad your wife saw the psychiatrist.
Two little bits I thought I would share with you.
1. Those meds take time to work, time to get in the bloodstream. There is an adjustment period with them. She may feel sleepy, spacey, etc from them until such time.
2. Alcohol and Lexapro DO NOT mix, especially for us alcoholics. I know this from a horrific experience I had.
The success of medication, is in direct correlation to her sobriety. I don't know if she is involved in a program or not, but, daily recovery work is vital.
Peace.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
She uses guilt as a hook to get to you. My XAH used sex,guilt, the cat is out of food,(when I moved).....as hooks to get to me. I started to recognize the hooks. I would not buy a house with her at this time. The disease is progressive.The vows got to me....my minister said the Bible says " do not be yoked to a drunkard." Down the road you may have the two kids still at home and could get a nice,guiet,no crazies,no chaos home. She chooses booze over you. She chooses booze over parenting. Save your kids and yourself....you cannot save her. Let her go live with her party friend.
I must be crazy!
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 15
Hi, I've been reading your post. It sounds so familiar. My AH annoys me everyday. My 17 and 13 year old kids worry about their dad. If he falls in the bathroom, they tell me to hurry and see what happened. Now how can I leave (again!!!) with my kids when they are worried about their dad? I think I'm waiting until they graduate....I don't know. I don't want them to think I abandoned their dad we he needed us the most. He is 49 has has alway drank every day since he was 19 or younger. So, I feel your pain. Kids make you think ... I wonder what life long scars will come of this.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
yikes frank. drinking on those meds is really really bad news. it will make a bad situation worse. there is a reason that they stick a warning about alcohol on the bottle. it's dangerous. it will only make her behavior more unpredictable. be careful!
Alcohol and Abilify
Alcohol and Abilify
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by ANEWAUGUST 
Frank....
I am glad your wife saw the psychiatrist.
Two little bits I thought I would share with you.
1. Those meds take time to work, time to get in the bloodstream. There is an adjustment period with them. She may feel sleepy, spacey, etc from them until such time.
2. Alcohol and Lexapro DO NOT mix, especially for us alcoholics. I know this from a horrific experience I had.
The success of medication, is in direct correlation to her sobriety. I don't know if she is involved in a program or not, but, daily recovery work is vital.
Peace.
I am glad your wife saw the psychiatrist.
Two little bits I thought I would share with you.
1. Those meds take time to work, time to get in the bloodstream. There is an adjustment period with them. She may feel sleepy, spacey, etc from them until such time.
2. Alcohol and Lexapro DO NOT mix, especially for us alcoholics. I know this from a horrific experience I had.
The success of medication, is in direct correlation to her sobriety. I don't know if she is involved in a program or not, but, daily recovery work is vital.
Peace.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by Carol Star
She uses guilt as a hook to get to you. My XAH used sex,guilt, the cat is out of food,(when I moved).....as hooks to get to me. I started to recognize the hooks. I would not buy a house with her at this time. The disease is progressive.The vows got to me....my minister said the Bible says " do not be yoked to a drunkard." Down the road you may have the two kids still at home and could get a nice,guiet,no crazies,no chaos home. She chooses booze over you. She chooses booze over parenting. Save your kids and yourself....you cannot save her. Let her go live with her party friend.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by copingwife
Hi, I've been reading your post. It sounds so familiar. My AH annoys me everyday. My 17 and 13 year old kids worry about their dad. If he falls in the bathroom, they tell me to hurry and see what happened. Now how can I leave (again!!!) with my kids when they are worried about their dad? I think I'm waiting until they graduate....I don't know. I don't want them to think I abandoned their dad we he needed us the most. He is 49 has has alway drank every day since he was 19 or younger. So, I feel your pain. Kids make you think ... I wonder what life long scars will come of this.
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Originally Posted by mfrankl6
I have taken care of her for so long I fear leaving her alone. She and I both know she won't survive on her own.
This is classic co dependancy. Have you read Melody Beatties 'Co dependent No More'? It helped me work out my part in my marriage and how I really wanted to live my life.
Your wife is an adult and, actually, is very capable of being responsible for herself. You have assumed this burden so that she doesn't have to. She knows you will clean up after her, take care of everything and give her a soft place to land so that she can focus on drinking. From what you post, she has very little reason to want to change - she is very comfortable the way she is.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. Have you read some of the classic posts on boundaries (they're in the sticky section of this forum)? They might be able to help you start making changes in how you live and help improve your quality of life.
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 57
Originally Posted by bookwyrm
How does that make you feel, mfrankl6? Trapped? Needed? Superior? How do you think you would feel is she showed you that she could be a fully functioning adult, responsible for her own decisions?
This is classic co dependancy. Have you read Melody Beatties 'Co dependent No More'? It helped me work out my part in my marriage and how I really wanted to live my life.
Your wife is an adult and, actually, is very capable of being responsible for herself. You have assumed this burden so that she doesn't have to. She knows you will clean up after her, take care of everything and give her a soft place to land so that she can focus on drinking. From what you post, she has very little reason to want to change - she is very comfortable the way she is.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. Have you read some of the classic posts on boundaries (they're in the sticky section of this forum)? They might be able to help you start making changes in how you live and help improve your quality of life.
This is classic co dependancy. Have you read Melody Beatties 'Co dependent No More'? It helped me work out my part in my marriage and how I really wanted to live my life.
Your wife is an adult and, actually, is very capable of being responsible for herself. You have assumed this burden so that she doesn't have to. She knows you will clean up after her, take care of everything and give her a soft place to land so that she can focus on drinking. From what you post, she has very little reason to want to change - she is very comfortable the way she is.
Nothing changes if nothing changes. Have you read some of the classic posts on boundaries (they're in the sticky section of this forum)? They might be able to help you start making changes in how you live and help improve your quality of life.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
from Copingwife: I don't know. I don't want them to think I abandoned their dad we he needed us the most. He is 49 has has alway drank every day since he was 19 or younger.
Sounds like he abandoned you and the kids a long long time ago.
I hope y'all don't spend too much time up in your heads pondering how this kind of life affects your children when that energy could be used for taking a stand and actively protecting them...if you wonder what the scars will be pop over to the ACOA forum here and you'll get a whiff!
peace-
b
Sounds like he abandoned you and the kids a long long time ago.
I hope y'all don't spend too much time up in your heads pondering how this kind of life affects your children when that energy could be used for taking a stand and actively protecting them...if you wonder what the scars will be pop over to the ACOA forum here and you'll get a whiff!
peace-
b
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