The kids and I are leaving.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: dysfunction junction,nc
Posts: 381
The kids and I are leaving.....
I haven't posted in a while. Just trying to get my life back in order. I have been through hell and back and amazingly living to tell you all about it. Last week my husband through a major temper tamtrum and hit me and well we went round and round. He came home Wednesday after noon and slept most of the time he was here. Thursday came around and that afternoon I went to Wal-Mart to get a few things and when I returned the demons had taken over again and he snapped once again. Not 24 hours had passed by. I tried reasoning with him to admit himself and it made things worse. He called the sheriff out here and I had the option to involuntarily commit him but decided against it because it all dawned on me at that moment that HELL NO I can't fix this. So they took him away. I've put this ball back into his court and he has to do this himself. How come I feel like crap? I hate being a woman for this very reason. We always feel like we have to FIX everything even if it means walking on water for them.
He has called me several times and each time he calls a different personality surfaces...One is very pityful with lots of tears and the other is screaming at me for not giving in.
My mama has given me an ultimatum to come home or else....I've made the decision to go home and start over. It is breaking my heart but thats what tough love does to you. It just knowing that you can't fix the one you love the most that is the ultimate pain in my heart. I have given up hope of him getting better with me maybe he'll hit the bottom and help himself but in the meantime I'm going to help myself out of this HELL. I'm so hurt and scared but I know with my HP I can make it through this and come out a better person. I have learned from this and I'm going into everything with my eyes wide open instead of half shut. I have no intentions of being with him ever again which hurts. I have to keep my mind clear of anything good right now and focus on the pain that has been caused. If I focus on the good things he'll be back in no time at all. He must learn to love himself and help himself not for me and the kids but FOR HIMSELF. He has to make it in this world without depending on me to pick him up and dust off the dirt. Everyone must be accountable and responsible for their own actions and face the consequences.
My daddy dropped the older kids off tonight and he knows the pain that I'm going through. I can see the hurt in his eyes to see me look the way I do. I can't eat and when I do it upsets my tummy. I have cried until my eyes are just about swollen shut. I have bruises all over my body and I hurt. He asked my son to go out to the car and grab his CD case tonight. Then he put a CD into the stereo and out came my favorite song......and I got to feel like a child again dancing with her Daddy. " I hope you dance" that is our song. "When one door closes I hope one more opens".....It will because God is Good and I've been a good wife and I've been a good mother."Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter" That is a tough one....."When you come close to selling out, reconsider. Give the Heavens above more than just a passing glance and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance....I hope you dance."
I'm gonna Dance this time.
Lots of love to you all,
Holly
He has called me several times and each time he calls a different personality surfaces...One is very pityful with lots of tears and the other is screaming at me for not giving in.
My mama has given me an ultimatum to come home or else....I've made the decision to go home and start over. It is breaking my heart but thats what tough love does to you. It just knowing that you can't fix the one you love the most that is the ultimate pain in my heart. I have given up hope of him getting better with me maybe he'll hit the bottom and help himself but in the meantime I'm going to help myself out of this HELL. I'm so hurt and scared but I know with my HP I can make it through this and come out a better person. I have learned from this and I'm going into everything with my eyes wide open instead of half shut. I have no intentions of being with him ever again which hurts. I have to keep my mind clear of anything good right now and focus on the pain that has been caused. If I focus on the good things he'll be back in no time at all. He must learn to love himself and help himself not for me and the kids but FOR HIMSELF. He has to make it in this world without depending on me to pick him up and dust off the dirt. Everyone must be accountable and responsible for their own actions and face the consequences.
My daddy dropped the older kids off tonight and he knows the pain that I'm going through. I can see the hurt in his eyes to see me look the way I do. I can't eat and when I do it upsets my tummy. I have cried until my eyes are just about swollen shut. I have bruises all over my body and I hurt. He asked my son to go out to the car and grab his CD case tonight. Then he put a CD into the stereo and out came my favorite song......and I got to feel like a child again dancing with her Daddy. " I hope you dance" that is our song. "When one door closes I hope one more opens".....It will because God is Good and I've been a good wife and I've been a good mother."Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter" That is a tough one....."When you come close to selling out, reconsider. Give the Heavens above more than just a passing glance and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance....I hope you dance."
I'm gonna Dance this time.
Lots of love to you all,
Holly
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Oh Holly...
I am so sorry for your pain. How womderful your parents can help you and your children.
My ex punched me...I left. No second chances allowed.
I have never regretted leaving..and fled with 1 suitcase.
I got more clothes and more furniture later on.
I saved my peace of mind and my dignity.
(+) (+) (+) Hugs and Prayers
My ex punched me...I left. No second chances allowed.
I have never regretted leaving..and fled with 1 suitcase.
I got more clothes and more furniture later on.
I saved my peace of mind and my dignity.
(+) (+) (+) Hugs and Prayers
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
Hi Holly,
Your post has me in tears. 1 because I love that song and 2 because my heart is breaking for you right now. I know how tough this must be. You're doing the right thing for yourself and I admire your courage. You're going to be Ok and you'll be better off. Time will go by and you'll get stronger. You deserve all the good that life has to offer and you're not selling yourself short. God will reward your courage and faith.
Please take care and thanks for sharing with us tonight. Stick close with us and with those who care about you and you'll get through this.
Your post has me in tears. 1 because I love that song and 2 because my heart is breaking for you right now. I know how tough this must be. You're doing the right thing for yourself and I admire your courage. You're going to be Ok and you'll be better off. Time will go by and you'll get stronger. You deserve all the good that life has to offer and you're not selling yourself short. God will reward your courage and faith.
Please take care and thanks for sharing with us tonight. Stick close with us and with those who care about you and you'll get through this.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Holly
Sometimes, to get to the other side, we have to walk through the pain. Just know that we are all walking with you, and that God is watching over us all.
Your parents sound wonderful, and I pray that you can heal and find beauty and light in your life once again.
God bless you Holly, and your children, as you begin this journey back to safety and sanity.
Hugs and prayers
Ann
Sometimes, to get to the other side, we have to walk through the pain. Just know that we are all walking with you, and that God is watching over us all.
Your parents sound wonderful, and I pray that you can heal and find beauty and light in your life once again.
God bless you Holly, and your children, as you begin this journey back to safety and sanity.
Hugs and prayers
Ann
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Holly, My heart goes out to you, you are heading in the right directions even though it hurts. How blessed you are to have parents that can be there for you and help you to get back on your feet again. My prayers are with you and your children.
God Bless,
Constant
God Bless,
Constant
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 444
(((((((((((2many))))))))))))
Lots of hugs, and lots of prayers. You have been through so much, and you are so strong! You have dealt with this intelligently, and I know your HP is leading you where you need to be. Sounds like you have wonderful parents! I'm so happy they are there for you!
Take really good care of you, and please keep in touch. We'll be waiting to hear how it's going.
Hugs,
Lyn
Lots of hugs, and lots of prayers. You have been through so much, and you are so strong! You have dealt with this intelligently, and I know your HP is leading you where you need to be. Sounds like you have wonderful parents! I'm so happy they are there for you!
Take really good care of you, and please keep in touch. We'll be waiting to hear how it's going.
Hugs,
Lyn
Paused
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 178
Holly
I feel your pain all the way overhere (hug)
What you are doing is a very brave thing. Stick with it and do not look back.
It is so hard to do I know ! Praying for you and your little ones !! Much Love!!
What you are doing is a very brave thing. Stick with it and do not look back.
It is so hard to do I know ! Praying for you and your little ones !! Much Love!!
Paused
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Ireland
Posts: 21
Hugs and prayers from me.
Hi Holly,
I am only here a few weeks so you don't know me, your post certainly brings me back and sometimes it is good to look back and see how far we have come. I have had a rough few weeks, in sobriety with my husband, went off his head also, i became a bit lax with my programme took a lot for granted and i have never prayed as much for courage to change me and wisdom to know the difference, so God bless you and give YOU courage and strength to keep going, you are doing this for You and your family
and thank god you have your parent's support, even in the darkest times our HP carries us.
Take care of yourself.
Big hug.
Tina.
I am only here a few weeks so you don't know me, your post certainly brings me back and sometimes it is good to look back and see how far we have come. I have had a rough few weeks, in sobriety with my husband, went off his head also, i became a bit lax with my programme took a lot for granted and i have never prayed as much for courage to change me and wisdom to know the difference, so God bless you and give YOU courage and strength to keep going, you are doing this for You and your family
and thank god you have your parent's support, even in the darkest times our HP carries us.
Take care of yourself.
Big hug.
Tina.
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
(((((((((Holly)))))))))
May God bless and keep you. My prayers and love go with you.
You are giving yourself and childern a wonderful gift.....the gift of a better and safer way of life...
Love and prayers go with you....
May God bless and keep you. My prayers and love go with you.
You are giving yourself and childern a wonderful gift.....the gift of a better and safer way of life...
Love and prayers go with you....
Paused
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
(((Holly)))
your in our thoughts and prayers.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can..
and the wisdom to know the difference
God Bless you
liddy
your in our thoughts and prayers.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can..
and the wisdom to know the difference
God Bless you
liddy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: dysfunction junction,nc
Posts: 381
I truly thank you all from the bottom of my heart. It helps to have friends that can cheer you on during hard times.I may not know all of you personally but we all share some kind of common ground. When I read all of your posts it really touched me to know that there are people in the world that care about the welfare of others. Friends like that are so hard to find in "my world". Most of the time you have to lean on your family for support. I am leaning on my family here is my world as well as my family here at SR. Thank you all so much for giving me much needed advice when I was falling apart. It always helped to know that there were others out there that had been where I was and made it.
The kids and I are doing great undser the circumstances. With "Daddy" being gone the little ones are not letting me out of there sight for 5 minutes because they are scared I'll leave and not come back. So I just hold them tight and love them extra hasrd right now. My older kids are feeling much needed relief from all the stress and are giving me the respect I finally deserve from them. I guess when they saw their mother giving in to such crap they lost a little respect. Things are slow moving right now. My mother made the Top Story on the news in Raleigh/Durham last week. She was at work at the hospital there and an inmate escaped from the ER and carjacked one of her co-workers as she was leaving work and the man ran into my mothers car and messed it up real good. Then Monday of this week she was driving her husbands hunting truck to work and was rear-ended not far from home. So now she has 2 vehicles that have to get fixed and she is searching the classified ads for a house for us.
Here in NC we have a law that not many of our police officers make known in Domestic cases that I found out from an attorney Monday. If your husband leaves your home with the help of the sheriffs dept. ,whether he's been arrested or not, he cannot return without your consent. You do not have to have a restraining order in place. They call it Domestic Criminal Trespassing and they will be arrested for it. Evidently you have to specify that to the sheriffs dept. I didn't know this until I spoke with an attorney and its good information to know incase anyone out there is in a domestic violence situation.
The older kids started school last week so they are busy at night with homework and I'm taking some online courses and that is keeping me very busy too.
I'll continue to keep everyone updated. Thanks for your prayers and concern and I love you all!
Holly
The kids and I are doing great undser the circumstances. With "Daddy" being gone the little ones are not letting me out of there sight for 5 minutes because they are scared I'll leave and not come back. So I just hold them tight and love them extra hasrd right now. My older kids are feeling much needed relief from all the stress and are giving me the respect I finally deserve from them. I guess when they saw their mother giving in to such crap they lost a little respect. Things are slow moving right now. My mother made the Top Story on the news in Raleigh/Durham last week. She was at work at the hospital there and an inmate escaped from the ER and carjacked one of her co-workers as she was leaving work and the man ran into my mothers car and messed it up real good. Then Monday of this week she was driving her husbands hunting truck to work and was rear-ended not far from home. So now she has 2 vehicles that have to get fixed and she is searching the classified ads for a house for us.
Here in NC we have a law that not many of our police officers make known in Domestic cases that I found out from an attorney Monday. If your husband leaves your home with the help of the sheriffs dept. ,whether he's been arrested or not, he cannot return without your consent. You do not have to have a restraining order in place. They call it Domestic Criminal Trespassing and they will be arrested for it. Evidently you have to specify that to the sheriffs dept. I didn't know this until I spoke with an attorney and its good information to know incase anyone out there is in a domestic violence situation.
The older kids started school last week so they are busy at night with homework and I'm taking some online courses and that is keeping me very busy too.
I'll continue to keep everyone updated. Thanks for your prayers and concern and I love you all!
Holly
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
So good to hear from you 2many~~I have been concerned about you. You're a tough smart lady and so proud of how you are handling everything. Bless your mom's heart, wow..what a week for her. I will continue to have you and the kiddo's in my thoughts and prayers..
Much love and many many ****{HUGS}}}
Much love and many many ****{HUGS}}}
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
((((((((((2Many))))))))))
I am so glad to hear from you...that you are and childern are doing better..
Please try to keep your eyes on the one who can move the mountain and not on the mountain it's self....
Conitnued love and prayers...
I am so glad to hear from you...that you are and childern are doing better..
Please try to keep your eyes on the one who can move the mountain and not on the mountain it's self....
Conitnued love and prayers...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Holly
It is great to hear that you are making steps forward and keeping on with your life. I know this must be tough, but thank goodness for family and friends. My prayers are with you.
Blessings, Constant
It is great to hear that you are making steps forward and keeping on with your life. I know this must be tough, but thank goodness for family and friends. My prayers are with you.
Blessings, Constant
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