MeMeMookieeee

Does someone involved in ALANON count their recovery because they are also CLEAN or does your recovery date indicate when you stopped enabling the A in your life?

I ask because I am a dope fiend only not at the levels my husband is. I mean, I'm CLEAN from drugs, but I do drink and my life, I feel, is manageable......meaning, I'm not binge drinking, getting drunk daily. I would consider myself I guess a functioning alcoholic at this point :lol

But seriously. I come from NA/AA and i stopped going when I started drinking because I felt like a hypocrite because I really never could imagine life w/out a beer. That was just something I couldn't ever grasp. So I'm curious what the Alanon makeup is. Ya know, are you here because you too are clean and sober but live/love an addict/alcoholic or are you a "normie", able to handle your business?

journeygal

Hi Mookie,

My anon recovery date is the day I hit my bottom and realized my life had become unmanageable, which was 100% focused on trying to control my husband's using and recovery. I will always be a codie, but I'm learning how to keep those tendencies at bay and not let my A's using and recovery run my life. It's taken me a long time to make some baby steps, but I am progressing. And just like the A, I know better than to overwhelm myself with trying to envision the rest of my life as a "normie", LOL. I just try to live life one day at a time.

Hugs,
JG

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Mookie.

Alanon is for anybody trying to cope with their codependent relationship to an alcoholic or drug addict. It has nothing to do with whether you drink (or ever have) yourself.

I don't know how to find a "birthday" for alanon recovery. Codependency is so much more complicated that putting down a substance... just as the disease of alcoholism is so much more complicated than putting down the substance. I kept trying to figure out when my birthday was. Which epiphany was the real "birth"??? LOL I finally decided my birthday was the day I came here, ready to admit I was doing something wrong.

Hugs!
Smoke

Gabe

I don't measure my recovery by "birthdays". It's an ongoing process and I have done plenty of backsliding. I'm just happy when my spiral is more "upward" than "downward".
I don't think the matter of whether you yourself drink needs to be addressed as far as your being a member of Alanon. Many anons don't drink, because they have seen the ravages of what alcohol can do. Some do, but I've never seen it become an issue when it comes to being an Alanon member.
If having a fondness for a cold beer or two on a hot summer day was grounds for banishment from Alanon...I would be living in the Leper colony outside of town. But that is mostly something that I do with my "non-program" friends.
Peace,
Gabe

EyesOpen

I don't drink, do drugs, or smoke anything, so I guess you'd call me a "normie". I'm here because I started having marriage problems. I thought the beer my husband was drinking was interfering with our lives. He, of course, had a different opinion.

I do, however, have an ongoing battle with carbs. Put me in stress, and man, I stuff as much sugar in my mouth as I can get. Call me a "carbiholic".

We all got something......... some chemical dependencies just interfere with life and our health more than others.:shades:

NoDoubt

I enjoy an occasoinal beer and a glass of wine. But don't believe that if I were regularly attending alanon meetings that I would feel like a hypocrite. I don't believe I have a drinking problem. There is quite a history of it in my family so I really just avoid alcohol.

We are having a block party tomorrow. My husband has been sober since March. I asked him if we should buy beer for our guests. He told me yes! Well, I got beer today but didn't put it in plain sight. A friend of mine asked what she should bring to the party. I told her 'whatevery you want - don't go crazy!'. Well, she doesn't know about my husband's addiction and she told me, "I'll bring a pasta salad and beer".

I don't think it is necessary for me to tell her "NO BEER". Fortunately, my husband feels the same way. He has already been in a few social situations that have included beer drinking and he told he that he has really been OK with it.

Back on subject - if you need alanon meetings to help with codependence then by all means go!

NoDoubt