LucyA

I guess you all know my mother by now, she's phoned my brother and spoken to him. He's on a bus back home, she's asked him to call at her house as it's on the way. She's also phoned the hospital and told them that he's coming to her so it's ok now.

Never mind the fact that he's sick enough to leave the hospital, phone his friend and tell him there were werewolves climbing on his bed last night.
Or even the fact that he hasn't even arrived at my mums yet.


Despite the fact that I try not to get involved, I've spoken to his friend, we've decided that if he turns up at home (this friend is staying with him) the friend will ring me and I will call the police to come and pick hom up, if we can manage to get him secitoned it's all we can do. After that he really is on his own.

SugarLily

Oh my, Lucy

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

My brother had to be sectioned, he isn't a drinker. He has mental problems. I mention this because I know the anguish.

No one wants to be detained, no one wants to detain anyone. But sometimes its needed, for the safety of your brother and also the sanity of your family, to know he is being looked over.

Wishing you all well. Keep us updated x x x

LucyA

thanks SugarLily, I've just spoken to the hospitaland getting him sectioned isn't an option, but the nurse I sopke to said he really needs to be there, not just for the detox but for his symptoms to be treated as well.

The nurse offered to phone my parents when I explained about their denial, she's going to explain how serious things are, and explain that to help him they need to get him back to hospital soon.

SugarLily

I hope she manages to get the reality of the situation through to them. It's easier to pretend things aren't that big a deal isn't it? It must be a very difficult time for you all.

I understand then as he won't be sectioned that he will be able to leave as and when he chooses? I hope he decides to do the right thing and remain to receive the help and rest he obviously needs.

It was like a rollercoaster with my brother. One day he'd decide he was better and just up and discharge himself. It was an unbelievably stressful time for my mum. She just wanted them to make him stay there, to get better.

Sending positive thoughts x x x

LucyA

My mum just phoned back to let me know they're taking him back, the nurse must have got something through to them.

I've just been a bit tough on my mum, maybe it was the wrong time, but I really don't know when the right time is.

I said to take him back, see him settled ok, and if he doesn't settle walk away and let the hospital do their job.
And, the next time he walks away let him.
I told her I'll support her and my dad as far as I can, but I wont help her try to save my brother.

Lilyflower

(((((Lucy))))) Lots of hugs to you hunny, I'm sorry to here this has happened and that your mum and dad have fallen into the drama again.

Did he get results for his liver tests? If he is that sick, he will be back in hospital soon.

I understand how difficult all this is, we went through this a few years ago with my exabf's mum also an A. She was sick and refused to see a doctor for months. In the end her daughter made the appointment and drove her there so there was no excuse to not go. She ended up in hospital too, very poorly she couldn't have walked out if she wanted to.

I truely hope that things are alright with your brother's health. He is obviously not at a point in his addiction where he is willing to take the first step and admit his problem. Hopefully he will in the near future and take his life back.

Next time you give Joe a hug, give him an extra squeeze from me.

I hope you can have your brother committed for his own sake.

Love prayers and blessings to you all

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LucyA

He told my mum last night the results were fine. The nurse just told me he has jaundice, hepatitis, scarring on his liver, a water infection and something else I can't remember.
Apparently he can recover so his liver is functional, but the damage is so much that it wont fully repair itself.

Lilyflower

Sorry to here that Lucy, the jaundice will be a side effect of his liver not functioning adaquately and the scarring from the infection I guess? Unfortunately there is no quick cure for any of his problems either, just rest healthy diet and no alcohol which I hope if he stays in the hospital will ensure.

Did the hospital mention he has Cirrhosis of the liver?

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LucyA

she didn't mention that to me, but to be honest she was more bothered about getting him back in there.

Bernadette

Hang in there Lucy--
sending you some good vibes and prayers for a peaceful weekend....(or maybe 5 good solid minutes of peace at some point!!!)
(((hugs)))
B.

pattyspaw

my prayers are with you; sounds like you are taking care of you; let go and let god is hard to do;

peaceteach

Prayers for you and all your family, Lucy. Hang in there and take care of yourself and the boys, sweetie. That's about all you can do at this point

LucyA

I've just got home from work, I work silly shifts including sleepovers. When I started work yesterday my dad had taken my brother back to hospital and everything seemed as it should be. I went out for a late lunch with one of the ladies I work with at about 3pm and my brother walked into the very same pub and bought a pint of lager! While I was fighting with myself over what, if anything to do, my mum phoned me to tell me he'd walked again and being a bit shocked I told her where he was. Anyway, the second time didn't work out quite the same as the first as he wouldn't go back to hospital, he spent the night at home hallucinating and talking to someone who wasn't there through the letter box.
My dad took him back this morning and my brother had to start the process all over again.
I went to visit this afternoon after work, because I think whatever happens it will be the last time I see him. I told him I had just one question for him and asked him to answer as honestly as possible. I asked did he want to stop drinking, he said 'yes of course I do that's why I'm here, because once I've got that cracked I'll be able to go out for a pint'

I've told my mum today that if he helps himself I'll be there for him, but that I can't do anything for him at all and I'm not going to stick around and watch him kill himself. I may as well get over him now because the brother I once had isn't there any more.

My mum says she understands, but i know from experience the minute I refuse to 'help' I'll have another battle on my hands.

I hope he stays in hospital this time, I hope he gets well and has a good life, but at the moment it's not a future I can imagine for him.

CatsPajamas

((( lucy )))

That's all, just more hugs.

Light and love,
Cats

Bernadette

:praying for You and your family!

Alcoholism is such a powerful addiction. So sad.
Stay strong Lucy-- one day at a time - your days have been chock-a-block with these twists and turns this week! Hope you find some peace for yourself--
B.

Impurrfect

((((Lucy)))

Sending you and the boys big hugs and prayers!

Amy

LucyA

Oh, I find from a completely innocent conversation with my aunt that my mum has been lying to me! She took Joe to see his dad the other day (after I'd asked her not to) and told me everything was ok. Apparently it wasn't, my bro told Joe to go live where he wanted because he didnt give a sh*t. I knew something was wrong, I just thught Joe was unsettled because he'd seen his dad at his worst.

My mum is under no illusions as to my feelings about her lying to me.
Joe has a cold and knows he's banned from the hospital (my rules, no one elses)
My whole family knows I wont be seeing my brother if he comes out of hospital (unless it's in passing on the street or in court for Joes custody stuff) and they know my reasons, the only time I will see him in the near future is if I take Joe to see him in hospital after that I wont see him from choice.
I love my family, but I wont be lied to, treated like scum, or abused in any other way.
I feel so free now I've actually voiced my opinions and boundaries.

Impurrfect

(((Lucy)))

I'm sorry your mom did that, but I'm so proud of you that you are putting you, Joe and your boys first!!

I'm also sad that Joe had to hear that from his dad, but glad he's got aunt Lucy there for him.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

LucyA

After my brother telling my mum and dad and joe that the doctor said he was going home today, he's still in there. Wonder why? Well, no, I don't really I was being sarcastic.

I havent been to see him since last Saturday, and that was only to see for myself that he was there. I haven't phoned to see how he's doing and the only info I have had has come from my mum (she regurgitates his lies so I discard it anyway) and my dad saying tonight that as far as he knows bro is still in hospital.
My aunt asked me how I can be so cool abut it and not let it affect me, she knows I love my brother and care about what happens, but she can't understand how I can appear to switch it all off. I told her I have a lot of good friends who've been there before me to guide me, I'd be nut's if I hadn't listened to what I've read here. Thank you for giving me the strength to look after myself.

Mair

Sorry im late on this post, i havent been around for a while. Your doing great Lucy, don't worry bout your Aunt unfortunately many people are ignorant to alcoholism as I was.

My thoughts are with you and your lovely boys.

Gill