Do breathalyzers work in keeping an alcoholic honest??
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Not taking a position on this, just thought I would inform those who weren't aware that there is a device (here in Ontario) called the ignition interlock device. After several convictions for impaired driving, the registrant would be court-ordered to have the device installed in their motor vehicle at their own expense. It's a couple grand. The registrant must go for a 'lesson' in blowing into it - and it can't be fooled by getting the passenger to blow. Furthermore, while driving, approximately every 10 minutes it will beep, alerting you to blow into it (it's like a straw). If you fail, or cannot provide a suitable breath, the engage will disengage.
A friend had one in her car for over a year. It was QUITE effective.
But again, it must be court-ordered, and it's only for the one specific veh registered to the accused.
A friend had one in her car for over a year. It was QUITE effective.
But again, it must be court-ordered, and it's only for the one specific veh registered to the accused.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
I guess it comes down to the fact that breathalyzing someone, even if it's legally required, such as in the case of an interlock device on the auto, is a temporary fix to a semi-permanent problem.
XAH couldn't have the Interlock device on his car "for work reasons." So he just went and bought me a car so he could stick the device in my old one and drive his nice little Expedition around with no problems. But it was for work, of course.
XAH couldn't have the Interlock device on his car "for work reasons." So he just went and bought me a car so he could stick the device in my old one and drive his nice little Expedition around with no problems. But it was for work, of course.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
So, someone doesn't drink if they need to drive. Does that make them sober? To me this is just another example of a side issue getting in the way of the fact: someone is so bothered by someone else's drinking they are frantic to do anything to get that person to stop. I lived it. It's insanity.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
Steve I am not saying it does not work, I am just saying my experience has been that unless the alcoholic was ready any how the chances are pretty slim.
I will agree that many times an intervention will get an alcoholic into rehab due to every one and thier brother begging and shaming them to do something about their drinking, but if they are not ready, they are either going to opt out of the rehab or relapse very soon after getting out.
Contrary to popular belief amoung non-alcoholics, we do have a great deal of pride!
Actually to much pride, which results in our having to hit a bottom of our choosing before our ego is deflated enough to admit we have a problem and need help.
I will agree that many times an intervention will get an alcoholic into rehab due to every one and thier brother begging and shaming them to do something about their drinking, but if they are not ready, they are either going to opt out of the rehab or relapse very soon after getting out.
Contrary to popular belief amoung non-alcoholics, we do have a great deal of pride!
Actually to much pride, which results in our having to hit a bottom of our choosing before our ego is deflated enough to admit we have a problem and need help.
I sure know about pride via recovering friends, exerps from the big book, and aa meetings. Some believe pride is yet an additioner mechanism to keep drinking. That is rather than a positive constructional pride it is pride that allows the person to continue on the road to demise.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ft. bend texas
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by WhatAboutME
I know you mean well, really. And I know what you're going through and how frustrating it is to watch someone you love throw their life away. A breathalyzer will not keep her from drinking. It just won't. People lose their jobs, their savings, their families, their lives, etc. and they still don't stop. I imagine you would start hearing an excuse to the tune of "It must be broken. It's wrong. It's malfunctioning. Etc." If she's going to drink, she's going to drink.
True, but she's not in prison and you're not her wardon. Before purchasing our current home, my husband and I lived in a duplex. It was a really cool building built in the early 1900's. It had a front door and back door that locked from the inside. We kept the key in the lock at all times (inside) to easily lock the door and unlock the door. One weekend, my husband was on a lovely binge. I decided to lock him in the house so he could not go to the store and buy more alcohol in the hope he would stop drinking for the weekend. You know what he did? He jumped out the freakin' window!
You love her like your child? You take care of a child. A relationship is supposed to be 50/50. And an alcoholic will behave just like a child - If you impose restrictions on them, they will rebel, just like a child. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really are getting the short end of the stick with this relationship.
True, but she's not in prison and you're not her wardon. Before purchasing our current home, my husband and I lived in a duplex. It was a really cool building built in the early 1900's. It had a front door and back door that locked from the inside. We kept the key in the lock at all times (inside) to easily lock the door and unlock the door. One weekend, my husband was on a lovely binge. I decided to lock him in the house so he could not go to the store and buy more alcohol in the hope he would stop drinking for the weekend. You know what he did? He jumped out the freakin' window!
You love her like your child? You take care of a child. A relationship is supposed to be 50/50. And an alcoholic will behave just like a child - If you impose restrictions on them, they will rebel, just like a child. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you really are getting the short end of the stick with this relationship.
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
Originally Posted by sad#3
This was one of the worst days of my life
Hugs to you
(((sad)))
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Hey sad,
Despite the way it feels, she is not doing this TO you.
She is just doing it.
I took alot of alcoholics behavior personally and it hurt me more than I can say.
Its not personal. Its just what her addiction is doing.
Doesnt make it right and doesnt make it easy. It also doesnt mean you should stay and it doesnt mean you should go.
I chose to not stay because I didnt ever know what to expect and I was not getting a partner.
Guess she cant have just a few, huh?
Despite the way it feels, she is not doing this TO you.
She is just doing it.
I took alot of alcoholics behavior personally and it hurt me more than I can say.
Its not personal. Its just what her addiction is doing.
Doesnt make it right and doesnt make it easy. It also doesnt mean you should stay and it doesnt mean you should go.
I chose to not stay because I didnt ever know what to expect and I was not getting a partner.
Guess she cant have just a few, huh?
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Sad --
Sorry you had such a bad night......please take care of you.
Have you ever been to Alanon or done any reading on alcoholism and/or codependency?
Keep coming here to SR and reading and posting and listening. So many people here have been through or are going through what you are now. There's a lot of support here for you.
Big Hugs.
Doll
Sorry you had such a bad night......please take care of you.
Have you ever been to Alanon or done any reading on alcoholism and/or codependency?
Keep coming here to SR and reading and posting and listening. So many people here have been through or are going through what you are now. There's a lot of support here for you.
Big Hugs.
Doll
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Originally Posted by elizabeth1979
Despite the way it feels, she is not doing this TO you.
She is just doing it.
She is just doing it.
Sad
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Ditto I know how much this hurts...(((SAD))) it is about the disease 100% it controls them into doing things which hurts others and themselves. Until they realize the behavior that they are creating in their lives we are powerless over it. I use to hurt all the time, I know what you are going through (we all do) but, please do not take it personal. I know this is easier said than done and hearing it from others here in SR I hope it will give you a sense of knowing that you are not alone in your feelings.
It is ok .....and you will be ok
(((Hugs)))
It is ok .....and you will be ok
(((Hugs)))
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
I don't think she loves me despite what I've been hearing for the past 7 months and that completely shocks me. You don't treat people you love like that.
brother I am not going to tell you if she loves you or not, all I can do is tell you what it was like for me.
I can honestly say that when I was drinking I loved my wife and children enough to where I would have sacifised my life to save one of them.
My alcoholism was so advanced then that even with that much love for them, I could not stop drinking for them!
I had to want to quit drinking for myself and no one else.
It was not until my wife told me that her and the kids were moving out in a month that I finally realized that my entire network that allowed me to keep drinking was going to be gone.
When she told me that I went into my garage and opened a beer thinking to myself "Cool I can drink all I want when ever I want and no one will be bit@@ing at me about it". Well as I was drinking that beer I saw my future if I continued to drink. My future was this:
1. I would drink myself silly every night & not pay my bills because my wife had done that.
2. Due to #1 all the utilities would be cut off and the house would get foreclosed on and my truck would get repoed if I didn't wreck it first.
3. I would be passing out every night on my sofa and wind up being late to work because my wife would not be there to wake me up and tell me to go to bed to where I would hear the alarm and go to work.
4. #3 would lead to me losing my job!
5. I would be left with no home or vehicle.
6. All I had left was drinking my self to death!!!
Knowing my support system was going to dissappear and I was going to die if I continued to drink is what got me into detox and then AA and sober!
What my wife said to me I knew was not an idle threat, her first husband was an alcoholic, he would not quit drinking and she threw his sorry butt out into the street, he kept on drinking for several more years after that, losing his truck and living on the streets, he finally got sober about 3 years ago.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 240
Oh sad, I'm sorry. As others have said, it's not that she doesn't love you, she just doesn't love herself right now. That is one of the hardest things to accept. I know my husband loves me. But like the Tazman's example of himself, his alcoholism is so far advanced that he just can't stop right now w/out some serious, serious, serious treatment and devotion to recovery. And right now, I just don't see that drive in him.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ft. bend texas
Posts: 179
Originally Posted by PaperDolls
Sad --
Sorry you had such a bad night......please take care of you.
Have you ever been to Alanon or done any reading on alcoholism and/or codependency?
Keep coming here to SR and reading and posting and listening. So many people here have been through or are going through what you are now. There's a lot of support here for you.
Big Hugs.
Doll
Sorry you had such a bad night......please take care of you.
Have you ever been to Alanon or done any reading on alcoholism and/or codependency?
Keep coming here to SR and reading and posting and listening. So many people here have been through or are going through what you are now. There's a lot of support here for you.
Big Hugs.
Doll
full of hope
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
You aren't weak, Sad! It takes a strong person to admit they need help.
You are making a great start by coming here and talking! You will do whatever you feel you need to do!
You aren't weak! Just living with an A qualifies you for strong!
You are making a great start by coming here and talking! You will do whatever you feel you need to do!
You aren't weak! Just living with an A qualifies you for strong!
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
It's not so much about love, it's about the quality of your life, right now, you have none and the longer you stay the worse it will get.
I sincerely hope you do the right thing for you. Living with an alcoholic or drug addict is like riding on a garbage truck, you can choose to jump off anytime, or you can ride on the truck all the way to the dump.
No one can make your decision, it is all yours.
Keep posting, we are here for you.
I sincerely hope you do the right thing for you. Living with an alcoholic or drug addict is like riding on a garbage truck, you can choose to jump off anytime, or you can ride on the truck all the way to the dump.
No one can make your decision, it is all yours.
Keep posting, we are here for you.
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