I made a very important decision last night..
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
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Originally Posted by Done-With-It 
You can stop drinking any day you want too. You can stop doing drugs any day you want too.
The day I wanted to stop doing meth, I did.. It was pure hell, but I did it.
I can never stop putting the thing I fear/hate the most into my body or I will die.
Every so often, I think I can and I try it again... Never works out....
The day I wanted to stop doing meth, I did.. It was pure hell, but I did it.
I can never stop putting the thing I fear/hate the most into my body or I will die.
Every so often, I think I can and I try it again... Never works out....
"Every so often, I think I can and I try it again . . . Never works out . . . ." is a sentence that could be uttered by any alcoholic I know.
I sympathize with your struggle; it must be extremely difficult. ((()))
I can't save you
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Cookville, TN
Posts: 104
denny57:: "I still struggle, in therapy and at Al-Anon, with "telling." I now really understand, though, the saying "We are as sick as our secrets." "
I never hurd that saying but i absolutely love it!
"It's possible many people would say "you can start eating right any day you want to." They would be wrong, but they would say it."
Thats very true and i compeltely agree..
Done-With-It:: It's kinda scarey reading all those effects because i have some of them ((the concentrating, mood problems which could be why my doctors think i had bi polar disorder..the throwing up blood - which is why i havent done it in 3 months)) && other one i know must be from it like the legs cramping so bad that it wakes me up and stuff like that. I dont wan't those things...but i want to be skinny && thin. Everythime i get to the point where i think i am ready to really "get better" i put on the weight and i end up breaking down. I mean i want ot get better but i want to get better without being over weight. or over 115lbs.
I never hurd that saying but i absolutely love it!
"It's possible many people would say "you can start eating right any day you want to." They would be wrong, but they would say it."
Thats very true and i compeltely agree..
Done-With-It:: It's kinda scarey reading all those effects because i have some of them ((the concentrating, mood problems which could be why my doctors think i had bi polar disorder..the throwing up blood - which is why i havent done it in 3 months)) && other one i know must be from it like the legs cramping so bad that it wakes me up and stuff like that. I dont wan't those things...but i want to be skinny && thin. Everythime i get to the point where i think i am ready to really "get better" i put on the weight and i end up breaking down. I mean i want ot get better but i want to get better without being over weight. or over 115lbs.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
You can decide to try to eat right and make a plan for success. We have a responsibity to be proactive in our own lives. Talk is good but talk is passive. Is there an eating disorder clinic in town that you can enroll in? That would be something you can do to bring change to your life. What is your plan of action?
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
"I still struggle, in therapy and at Al-Anon, with "telling." I now really understand, though, the saying "We are as sick as our secrets." "
I never hurd that saying but i absolutely love it!
"It's possible many people would say "you can start eating right any day you want to." They would be wrong, but they would say it.">>>>>>>
LOL, Yea, many say Just eat too, and many other things about e.d. that are almost laughable... I would say to them
if you had to "Just" drink one beer a day, or your choice of alcohol in order to live, or for me, Just do one line of meth a day, or heroin, etc. could you? no way in hell could I do that..
I'm not trying to debate about what's harder because it depends on the person what's harder. For me it's the e.d. that's why I got into meth, to lose weight.. Some people aren't obsessed w/weight like I always have been and don't live in Hollywood where it's everywhere, so drugs might be harder for them....
I was saying or meaning to say from what I've read from GI so far, is that it seems like her deal seems close to mine. If that's true, she's in over her head to try and do it alone. Ana is like having 2 personalities, like someone else living inside of you who controls you, and she will never let you get better on your own or with just a friends help, etc..
I probably should have said that different or not at all, I can see how it may sound insulting to some, when I don't mean it to be at all. We're all in this together fighting whatever demons we have, and none of us including anons have it any worse or better..
Done-With-It:: It's kinda scarey reading all those effects because i have some of them ((the concentrating, mood problems which could be why my doctors think i had bi polar disorder..the throwing up blood - which is why i havent done it in 3 months)) && other one i know must be from it like the legs cramping so bad that it wakes me up and stuff like that. I dont wan't those things...but i want to be skinny && thin. Everythime i get to the point where i think i am ready to really "get better" i put on the weight and i end up breaking down. I mean i want ot get better but i want to get better without being over weight. or over 115lbs.[/QUOTE]
Sweetie, those HORRIBLE leg cramps is your potassium being low...
Do me and yourself a favor, get yourself some bannanas and some potassium pills. OMG, when I was doing meth, and when I was really
thin, I thought my leg was going to fall off...
I used to throw up blood all the time, then in treatment one of my roommates tore her esphogus or something, I just know the blood didn't stop coming out... But that didn't stop me, none of that stuff did...
You can be 115 pds. You just have to eat small meals and exercise.
I actually have someone helping me w/that right now. LOL, I've been
doing horrible and not eating at all, but have started again....
I haven't gained, and so far I feel so much better.....
I will email you or pm you what I'm doing if you want, and believe me
they are small and healthy....
Let me know, I'd be more than happy to send it to you....
I never hurd that saying but i absolutely love it!
"It's possible many people would say "you can start eating right any day you want to." They would be wrong, but they would say it.">>>>>>>
LOL, Yea, many say Just eat too, and many other things about e.d. that are almost laughable... I would say to them
if you had to "Just" drink one beer a day, or your choice of alcohol in order to live, or for me, Just do one line of meth a day, or heroin, etc. could you? no way in hell could I do that..
I'm not trying to debate about what's harder because it depends on the person what's harder. For me it's the e.d. that's why I got into meth, to lose weight.. Some people aren't obsessed w/weight like I always have been and don't live in Hollywood where it's everywhere, so drugs might be harder for them....
I was saying or meaning to say from what I've read from GI so far, is that it seems like her deal seems close to mine. If that's true, she's in over her head to try and do it alone. Ana is like having 2 personalities, like someone else living inside of you who controls you, and she will never let you get better on your own or with just a friends help, etc..
I probably should have said that different or not at all, I can see how it may sound insulting to some, when I don't mean it to be at all. We're all in this together fighting whatever demons we have, and none of us including anons have it any worse or better..
Done-With-It:: It's kinda scarey reading all those effects because i have some of them ((the concentrating, mood problems which could be why my doctors think i had bi polar disorder..the throwing up blood - which is why i havent done it in 3 months)) && other one i know must be from it like the legs cramping so bad that it wakes me up and stuff like that. I dont wan't those things...but i want to be skinny && thin. Everythime i get to the point where i think i am ready to really "get better" i put on the weight and i end up breaking down. I mean i want ot get better but i want to get better without being over weight. or over 115lbs.[/QUOTE]
Sweetie, those HORRIBLE leg cramps is your potassium being low...
Do me and yourself a favor, get yourself some bannanas and some potassium pills. OMG, when I was doing meth, and when I was really
thin, I thought my leg was going to fall off...
I used to throw up blood all the time, then in treatment one of my roommates tore her esphogus or something, I just know the blood didn't stop coming out... But that didn't stop me, none of that stuff did...
You can be 115 pds. You just have to eat small meals and exercise.
I actually have someone helping me w/that right now. LOL, I've been
doing horrible and not eating at all, but have started again....
I haven't gained, and so far I feel so much better.....
I will email you or pm you what I'm doing if you want, and believe me
they are small and healthy....
Let me know, I'd be more than happy to send it to you....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
Posts: 600
Hi done-with-it,yes i have my own experiece that i speak of.And yes of course it flies in the face of professinals.Spiritual teachings always do.There is not one isssue in my life,that i have not turned over to the care of God.And this has worked /works,for me.I practice recovery program,with everything too..smile.
I share what works for me,and what is working in my life.
I share what works for me,and what is working in my life.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
I really hate that we can't use colors or smileys cause everything comes across (rereading what I wrote) harsh, or to me it does. I hope you know it wasn't meant like that. It was very pink. :-) And it was meant as more of a sincere question? Not so accusatory....
Plus, e.d.'s scare me, I've watched too many people die, so I may get a bit hyper about them, lol, maybe I should talk to a therapist about that, eh. ;-)
Plus, e.d.'s scare me, I've watched too many people die, so I may get a bit hyper about them, lol, maybe I should talk to a therapist about that, eh. ;-)
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Originally Posted by Grasshopper
And yes of course it flies in the face of professinals.Spiritual teachings always do.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I'm a profesi0nal and work with professionals and it doens't fly in my face. I am a Christian before I am anything else, so are most of the people I work with. Most of the professional I know feel as though they are conduits and do not choose science over spirituality. Just speaking for myself and for those around me at work which includes doctors and nurses.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Green,green grass of home
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Hi,no it didnt sound harsh to me,i just wanted to qualify,and let those reading,that yes i do have my own experience with this issue.
Im happy to know,now, that spiritual teachings doesnt fly in --al---professinals faces.
My DR,looks at me like i have 3 heads,,lol,when i share with him what actions im taking for issues in my life.And so have other Dr,s,ive seen in the past few years.Be glad to find one who doesnt,now that i know they are out there...thanks
Im happy to know,now, that spiritual teachings doesnt fly in --al---professinals faces.
My DR,looks at me like i have 3 heads,,lol,when i share with him what actions im taking for issues in my life.And so have other Dr,s,ive seen in the past few years.Be glad to find one who doesnt,now that i know they are out there...thanks
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
There is no way on Gods green earth that a doctor I was paying would look at me that way and continue to be my doctor. Please consider changing dotors. I do not feel like your doctor represents the majority. I can't think of a single exception. It only follows holistic medicine to incorporate a persons spirituality. Miracles happen everyday. A person who is not spiritually content can not heal fully. Please never leave my helath and healing to the limitations of the secular world. It is limited. God knows no degree of difficulty and has n limitations. Frankly, your doctor is ignorant unless the actions you were taking only made sense to you. Can you explain a specific? I'm very curious.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The South
Posts: 75
GI -
"Like God's way of telling me i'm fat."
Well, I can promise you that this is NOT God's way of telling you that you're fat! Actually, I am sure that you aren't fat and I have a feeling God couldn't care less even if you were. ;-)
"Like God's way of telling me i'm fat."
Well, I can promise you that this is NOT God's way of telling you that you're fat! Actually, I am sure that you aren't fat and I have a feeling God couldn't care less even if you were. ;-)
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Originally Posted by denny57
Hmmm. I have to wonder if you suffered from alcoholism if you'd then consider it a disease. Not to start that debate again LOL - I just think sometimes I used to have a lot more insight into my own conditions.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
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Hi again,so as not to hi-jack this treat i will be short..smile.
I guess if i had decided to take treatments,then yes my Dr,would condone me in my beliefs.But because they cannot operate on me,ive chose to follow the path,i do believe in,and its been nothing but hard times for me.From Dr,s to friends,,etc.But thats ok,ive handed all to God.It is only by God,s Grace,that i have out-lived,what the Drs had predicted.Of course i dont recommend that others follow my path.We each have our own beliefs,and paths to follow.
I guess if i had decided to take treatments,then yes my Dr,would condone me in my beliefs.But because they cannot operate on me,ive chose to follow the path,i do believe in,and its been nothing but hard times for me.From Dr,s to friends,,etc.But thats ok,ive handed all to God.It is only by God,s Grace,that i have out-lived,what the Drs had predicted.Of course i dont recommend that others follow my path.We each have our own beliefs,and paths to follow.
I can't save you
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Cookville, TN
Posts: 104
mallowcup:: "You can decide to try to eat right and make a plan for success. We have a responsibity to be proactive in our own lives."
for someone who talks like they know a lot about addiction, i would exspect not such a close minded answer from you. To an anorexic there is no "deciding to eat right", food is death - even the smallest about. There are two parts to an anorexic, the real "logical" part that says "you will die if you don't eat" && the part they believe is logical that says "you will die if you do eat or die if you don't, do you want to die thin && happy or fat and worthless?"
"Is there an eating disorder clinic in town that you can enroll in? That would be something you can do to bring change to your life. What is your plan of action?"
No there isn't, and i don't plan on going to one anytime soon. I have too much in my life that i need to take care of (my mom and sister) && they come first.
for someone who talks like they know a lot about addiction, i would exspect not such a close minded answer from you. To an anorexic there is no "deciding to eat right", food is death - even the smallest about. There are two parts to an anorexic, the real "logical" part that says "you will die if you don't eat" && the part they believe is logical that says "you will die if you do eat or die if you don't, do you want to die thin && happy or fat and worthless?"
"Is there an eating disorder clinic in town that you can enroll in? That would be something you can do to bring change to your life. What is your plan of action?"
No there isn't, and i don't plan on going to one anytime soon. I have too much in my life that i need to take care of (my mom and sister) && they come first.
I can't save you
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Cookville, TN
Posts: 104
denny57:: "Jeesh! My therapist has absolutely no problems with my spirituality. I guess I've been very blessed with my support systems"
Well thats good..but one of my MAJOR goals when it comes to a doctor is to find one who isn't going to try and shove the bible down my throat. I go to them to talk about what i am feeling, if i wanted to talk about god i'd go to a pastor. I believe in god and have my own relationship with him, but when i am siting there telling someone all my "issues" && they look at me and say "having you ever read that one verse..." I kind of just want to slap them and say "UHH YEAHHH!!! I HAVEE!!!!! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I HAVEN'T?! IF READING WORKED FOR ME I WOULDN'T BE HERE!!! DUHHH!!!!". Ecspecially if they are male ((no offence;; a lot of people are going to get mad at this, i know)) but i have trouble going to male doctors -which is why i dont stay with mine very long cause they are always male- cause in all honesty the worlds problems ARE men. And i am not this way becayse of my Aex-bf i have been this way my entire life. And i have a very big problem discussing God with men because they asume they know more because they are male. I know this makes me sound close-minded, but i am really not. I just dispise the majority (not all) of the male gender.
Well thats good..but one of my MAJOR goals when it comes to a doctor is to find one who isn't going to try and shove the bible down my throat. I go to them to talk about what i am feeling, if i wanted to talk about god i'd go to a pastor. I believe in god and have my own relationship with him, but when i am siting there telling someone all my "issues" && they look at me and say "having you ever read that one verse..." I kind of just want to slap them and say "UHH YEAHHH!!! I HAVEE!!!!! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I HAVEN'T?! IF READING WORKED FOR ME I WOULDN'T BE HERE!!! DUHHH!!!!". Ecspecially if they are male ((no offence;; a lot of people are going to get mad at this, i know)) but i have trouble going to male doctors -which is why i dont stay with mine very long cause they are always male- cause in all honesty the worlds problems ARE men. And i am not this way becayse of my Aex-bf i have been this way my entire life. And i have a very big problem discussing God with men because they asume they know more because they are male. I know this makes me sound close-minded, but i am really not. I just dispise the majority (not all) of the male gender.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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GI, the other day you said top priority was your class so that was why you can't seek help. Today it is your sister and mom.
I empathize with what you are going through. I am here to listen.
((()))
I empathize with what you are going through. I am here to listen.
((()))
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
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Hey there GI,
As long as you are respectful then you can express your opinions and we will listen with equal respect. If anybody is disrespectful to you then just click on the little red triangle at the bottom left of the disrespectful post and the Mods will clean it up right quick.
Mike
Originally Posted by GirlInterrupted
… ((no offence;; a lot of people are going to get mad at this, i know)) …
Mike
I can't save you
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Cookville, TN
Posts: 104
denny57:: "GI, the other day you said top priority was your class so that was why you can't seek help. Today it is your sister and mom. "
Yes my top priority is my class. But that is for me....does that make sence? Like,, thats what i am allowing myself to focus on. Because when i said that I was answering to someone saying "why don't you make that your goal for this week, seek out a good counsilor". And I don't want to because I want to focus on my class ((for me)). But as for other people i mainly just focus on my mom and sister before anyone else so if what I am doing would require me to go away (treatment) then i am not going to do it so i can be with them. If this isn't making sence just tel me and I will try to exsplain myself a bit more. The history behind everything that's going on in my life is A LOT, so my reasoning may not seem valid, or may not make much sence to you but that's only because you only see parts of it and not the whole picture.
DesertEyes:: Thank you mike
.. how was your new years?
Yes my top priority is my class. But that is for me....does that make sence? Like,, thats what i am allowing myself to focus on. Because when i said that I was answering to someone saying "why don't you make that your goal for this week, seek out a good counsilor". And I don't want to because I want to focus on my class ((for me)). But as for other people i mainly just focus on my mom and sister before anyone else so if what I am doing would require me to go away (treatment) then i am not going to do it so i can be with them. If this isn't making sence just tel me and I will try to exsplain myself a bit more. The history behind everything that's going on in my life is A LOT, so my reasoning may not seem valid, or may not make much sence to you but that's only because you only see parts of it and not the whole picture.
DesertEyes:: Thank you mike
.. how was your new years?
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