Va2Mi87

My 1 week is tomorrow. I made it further without having the urge than most people would. Buuuut....it happens to the best of us. The urge to want to. I've been crying on and off all day because I don't want to but its hard not to think about it. I went to my dad and he said "you go to AA on Monday. Talk to your buddies on your messageboard they seemed to help". There aren't many aa meetings closeby today, so that isnt an option. It just sucks, the only thing I can do is cry out of frustration because I don't want to do it....ugh..man...

Im staying strong though. I just gotta keep thinking that it isnt good for me and I dont need it anymore.

CaliButterfly

Great job so far! Almost a week is an excellent milestone and you can keep building on it. I posted the following in a different thread and wondered if it might inspire you... I woke up about 3 weeks ago feeling like hell as I always did, and thought to myself, I have got to get a grip. So I took out a college-ruled spiral notebook and wrote down all of the values/benefits/appreciations of sobriety. It didn't take me long to fill half the page and still continues to grow. I tried to put the pros of drinking on the right side, and I only came up with one. Temporary buzz followed by a morning of shame, regret, remorse, depression, and self-pity. What pleasure is that? I read again the sobriety pros, and again, and again. It clicked. Nope, the chains just aren't worth the laundry list of sacrifices. So I smashed my AV (Addictive Voice) in its proverbial face, repeated to myself "I don't drink, I never will again, and I won't change my mind", and I haven't looked in my rearview. If I can offer one suggestion it's this. Try writing down the list. Add to it as things crop up that you are happy about not drinking. You would be amazed how long that list gets. Good luck and don't give up. I don't have to tell you it's worth it to be free again.

Anna

There no easy way to get through the very early days of recovery, but to stick with it. It will get easier.

Congratulations on 1 week of sobriety, that's fantastic.

Surrendered19

Cry and scream and rage at the sky Va2Mi87. I actually think that would be really really good for you. Catharsis is change. I read something the other day that I loved. I'll butcher it, but the sentiment was Q: Why do you laugh so much and cry so much? A: Because I'm paying attention.

Stay sober my friend. There's nothing for you there in the bottom of that damn bottle. It's a lie. It wants to kill you.

One week is amazing by the way. I'm so so proud of you.

Hevyn

Hi Va. Please be proud of yourself for reaching 1 week. No one understands how hard it is but us. I was very emotional the first couple of months. Sure, I was relieved to be sober because I knew I would likely die if I didn't stick with it. But it's natural to feel a little scared & disoriented in the early days. We've relied on it for a long time & we can't help but think of the "help" it once seemed to give us - a way to cope. We've learned where it actually ends up taking us though. Try not to be frustrated - what you're feeling is normal & most of us have gone through the same thing. It eases up!

Va2Mi87

I'm calming down now. I didn't break. I took a breather, I drove and got some lunch, and came home and turned on the tv. The craving slowly went away. Still kinda there but basically gone. It hit me like a tidal wave out of nowhere. Man that was terrible.

But I'm back I feel better. Just gotta learn to breathe when this happens. Reading people are proud of me helps alot though thanks guys ☺

Steely

Fantastic breakthrough Va2. You thought it through, knew you didn't want that for yourself, and did other things instead. The urge passed. It goes like this, and over time becomes our natural 🌺 way of being, even if thoughts do pop into our heads from time to time. Begone, so say all of us.

I'm so glad you joined us here Va2.

Life is so much better sober, and I want this for you too. Want it for us all.

Dee74

I think a lot of people think recovery is never having the urge. Its not - at least not for most of us in the early days.
Its having the urge - and not giving in anyway.

Urges are normal a week in.
Thought are thoughts - it's what we do with those thoughts that counts

D

sortofhomecomin

Your dad offered sensible advice. It's good that your family are involved in your recovery. Btw there are plenty of AA meetings on Zoom just to point out, though lots of folk prefer the real life meetings.

advbike

Great job Va2Mi.. !!! So glad you didn't cave.. I was really worried as I read your thread..

It's really hard in the first week or two when those cravings come on, especially when we're not used to them., but you did GREAT!

So glad you reached out - to your dad, to those of us here on SR. And eating was an excellent move, it always helps me too.

Have you heard of HALT? Check for these conditions when you feel a craving.. Hungry-Angry-Lonely-Tired... often times we have one or more of those going on. For me it is usually hunger that does it. Our blood sugar drops and the brain knows a drink is loaded with sugar and carbs so the craving comes on. But we don't often know why - it seems like it just comes out of the blue..

You are really strong, and you can do this. Those thoughts will begin to diminish and it will get easier, but early on be prepared.

RecklessDrunk

Feelings of content and happiness, especially in early recovery are kind of like the stock market.

Over time the stock market doesn't just go up a little every single day. If you look at a chart of the market it can be very choppy from day to day. Its unpredictable how it will move on any given day. Kind of like our emotions in early recovery. Over the long term though the market has always trended up. Through 2 World Wars, crashes in 29, 87, the tech bubble in 00, 911, the financial crisis 2008, the market is flying high right now. It will likely crash and rise yet again. You can't just panic and sell when your down and you have to see what is actually happening. Recovery is a long term investment. It has solid fundamentals, you want to invest more in recovery when your down.

There are times it may seem like the end of the end of the World. We have our down days and even our occasional crashes; loss of job, death of a loved one etc. Remember though, tough days don't last tough people do. Those feelings of restless, irritable, discontent will pass by if you don't drink. If you stay sober they pass by much quicker then the aftermath of taking another drink.

least

To strengthen your sobriety, I would suggest you start to practice gratitude every day. Find at least one thing/person/event you are thankful for. Do that every day and I bet you'll be surprised at how much you find to be grateful for.

tornrealization

HALT, and gratitude is good advice. The stock market analogy is awesome, it’s spot on.

So the bad news is cravings don’t usually go away. Even after years of sobriety. The good news is they start to come less frequently, last a shorter amount of time and become less intense. Early sobriety is really really rough, and I’m proud of you for your one week.

I hear there are Zoom AA meetings you can try camera off if your anxiety it through the roof attending in person. I’m not sure if your like me, but I tend to build in my mind that something is going to be to hard and procrastinate...I make it worse than it ever really would be. I’m self studying for a technical certification I decided was too hard ...for years. Now that I’ve started, it’s hard but not impossible. Baby steps Ya know? One chapter becomes two chapters, now I’m halfway through the book! One sober week turns to many, turns to months turns to years. AA felt super scary to me but I gave it a try and went to meetings, have the books. I didn’t adopt it as my plan of recovery, but I learned a lot anyways and gained some insights and perspectives. It was nerve racking that first meeting, but people were kind. I was ashamed, but I realized I didn’t have to be when I went. It’ll be fine. I’m rooting for you!

Sammy1980

So glad you pulled yourself through. When this would happen to me I would just turn and walk out my front door and take a walk. The walks would last me anywhere from a half hour to two hours what ever it took. The walking let me take a look at everything around me, cars, people, houses the sound of my steps. It reduced my stress and took my mind away from the drink I couldn't have. Give it a try it really worked for me.

advbike

Great words of advice from everyone, gotta love the stock market analogy, haha. Thanks RD..

WaterOx

I've always had a hard time about a week or two in. Some people talk about 3 days like it's all gravy after that. How I wish! lol
Usually around day 13 I want to drop kick anyone for so much as smiling at me. But whatever day that is, it will pass. It sounds like you're going through yours right about now.

Times like this I like to sit with myself and lean into it if I have the opportunity. Before you know it, it's over.

Kaptn

Glad you're here. Sending hugs.

Mizz

Look at you.... This is amazing!
You logged on here. Talked to your father. Got some food. This is how to do it!

The first few weeks are such a roller coaster. The cravings will lessen over time. Its not immediate. I wish it were. We all would have loved to bypass this part of the road but.....We are proof that this does get easier. It really does. Keep posting. Keep reading. Keep your eye on the prize!

Surrendered19

Hope you are well on this Sunday morning Va2Mi87. Temperature on my porch is -22F. Yikes!!! But I am warm and rested and enjoying my favorite part of sobriety - long weekend mornings drinking coffee, watching Sunday morning news shows and deciding what to cook today. Hope you are feeling better today and ready for the week ahead sober and healthy.