FiveTries

Today I have 8 days of sobriety. I was going good for awhile and then like it was nothing picked up and started in. I am actually gonna drink tonight at dinner.

Everything else in my life is perfect and I can't put the booze down. I need to get my ship together.

biminiblue

So....don't drink tonight at dinner.

At some point "Stop" is the action to take.

Surrendered19

Oh would that it were only at the dinner table FiveX. But I suspect you know that already.

Delilah1

You’re making a choice to drink tonight, you still have the choice not to drink and to wake up with 9 days sober tomorrow. I hope you’ll choose this option.

Bubovski

If you can't put the booze down (certainly re long term ramifications) then your life is far from perfect................

gypsytears

You have 8 days of sobriety already. Choose not to drink!

nez

I was the owner of a successful business. I was an award winning chef. I was happily married. I owned my home. I paid my bills on time. I had no jail time. No DUIs. Everything in my life was perfect...except it wasn't...I was in hell. In recovery nothing in my life is perfect...but it is right...I am peaceful and serene.

I made the choice to change, and have no regrets. I wouldn't trade my life today for anything!

tomls

If you want to stay sober don't drink at all.

Bethany57

This!

Dee74

nothing changes if nothing changes Five.
If you keep drinking, things are going to get worse. That's a given.

you really only have one choice - stop. You can do that right now, or 5 years from now...but the longer you drink, the harder it will be to stop, and the more things you love in your life you'll lose.

D

Anna

Make a choice to do things differently tonight and keep your 8 days of sobriety and add to them.

Hodd

Stopping drinking isn’t something you can put off. You clearly didn’t enjoy the eight days you held out, but that’s normal. We all went through that grim withdrawal. Now you’ll have to do it all over. The good news is if you hold out to, say, 18 or 28 days, your urge to drink will be way less. You’re then on the road to getting your life back. Right now, alcohol has you by the balls I’m sorry to say. Think carefully about taking that drink with your dinner.

advbike

Curious.. why tonight? Something or someone special? Really curious what your thought process is, and why you would sacrifice the hard fought ground. When I was in my 30's and early 40's it was always a hot date that would do me in. I just felt I couldn't do it without booze. No confidence, too much anxiety.. later I learned much to my surprise that I could, and it was fine, haha. Wasted a couple decades on that one. Hope you don't do the same.

FiveTries

I think I am tired of the hard fights.

I had a date night with the wife. A rare occassion. Drank a cocktail and two glasses of wine. I definitely wanted more but theres no booze at my house so I just slept.

I will see how long I can last starting today.

FreeOwl

Well, listen.....

Keep drinking.

Then what'll happen is you won't have to worry about everything else being perfect anymore.

Because, sooner or later, it won't be.

At least, that has been my experience.

So - please, DON'T keep drinking.

Embrace sobriety and you will find out how many things were not as 'perfect' as you thought... and how amazing life can be.

advbike

Five, how are you doing? Miss you on here!

GerandTwine

Hi FiveX,

I know you haven’t forgotten your post from Nov 4th:

Quote:

I am dead serious about never drinking again. This last relapse was the end for me. Finishing up Day 4. I am mostly feeling good but still have some little aches and pains and odd feelings in my upper body but particularly my dreaded liver area. Those are scaring me the most at this moment but I know that the hard work of staying sober hasn't even started yet. I can hear my addiction talking to me.

You’ve just decided to ignore it’s importance because you miss that old drunken you. You were not on the fence back in November. You were loving your new life.

The problem is, you have decided to take advantage of a unique and magical power in the posession of former addicts who have allegedly pledged to never drink again. You have the power to bring a living being back to life after being essentially killed off. You had memories of the old drunken lifestyle and that actually consisted of a complete way of living - a complete way of thinking, acting, deciding, valuing, and socializing while drunk - trying to fit into human society, like a lot of people do who drink to drunkeness on a regular basis creating a whole life of drunkenness that does NOT want to die.

The fight is NOT to struggle with being abstinent. It is a fight to NOT exercise that magical power of bringing back to life something you KNOW you should leave dead.

GT

anxiousrock

Recommend you read "the doctors opinion" and "bill's story " in the big book. See if you can relate to them.

FiveTries

Sorry I haven't been back in so long. I missed some good posts here and those could have helped me.

I am so tired of being a slave to alcohol.
Not sure how much longer I can take it.

Yet somehow after a brief period of sobriety it sounds so good to drink and even though I am aware of the danger I figure I can manage it.

I drink with my guard up and I stay sober with my guard up. I can't find peace.

Theres a big part of me that says what the heck let me just drink as much as I like consequences be damned. Drink until I am finished.

I am scared of that outcome so I came back here.

I am not sober though so what am I getting at?

Dee74

You need to pick a side FiveX,
I know its hard to make a final lasting decision not to drink anymore, but until you do, you're just going to be like a one legged duck - swimming in circles.

D