nez

Not trying to be a smart ass, but it doesn't sound as though you actually like drinking as much as you do. So why take it? Leave it.

At the end of my drinking, I didn't want to drink and I was terrified, but the thought of not drinking terrified me also. Damned if I did. Damned if I didn't. As long as I was terrified by both possibilities, at least not drinking had the promise of a better life in the future, while drinking had the promise of a worse life in the future.

I finally decided, I had to go with the experiences of all the people I had met who were sober and happy. I never met a drunk who was truly happy, no matter what they tried to tell me to the contrary.

All of those sober happy people couldn't be wrong, and if they were wrong, what a great wrong to be! I already knew all too well the wrong of drinking and knew any happy was a facade. By deciding to go with sober, the only thing I risked losing was my misery.

lifewithart

When you do get the determination to not drink, it feels SO good. Give it a try!