Not again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
Not again
I'm so sad and depressed right now. It's like I never learn and just keep messing up over and over. I was doing so well. Going to work, being sober and then bam I go and do something so stupid. Now I feel that everyone hates me at work and the shame/guilt makes me want to run from my problems right back to the booze. I'm not doing it again.
Only 3 months go I had my first panic attack due to my actions. I hope in time I look back and say this was the final straw that broke me free from the chains. Thanks for any help.
Only 3 months go I had my first panic attack due to my actions. I hope in time I look back and say this was the final straw that broke me free from the chains. Thanks for any help.
Yeah, that's how alcohol keeps us hooked. We behave badly and then feel guilt and shame, and it's easy to turn back to drinking. You can stop this cycle. You can deal with your emotions and the people at work. Its not easy, but you can get through it.
Sick n tired
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 509
It’s awful how we feel after behaving out of character because of alcoholism. Don’t throw away your recovery just breathe try keep it in the present don’t be too hard on yourself and keep going. Anxiety and shame guilt is awful and keeps us down we’re we are vunrable to the av and all it’s nonsence hope you feel better soon
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
No doubt. It's like a rotating door.
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
You sound just like me so many times
I the moment after the damage everything seems so obvious and simple, then some time passes and things get a little cloudy, then there we are again picking up the pieces, if we're lucky enough to have any pieces left.
I probably can't tell you anything you don't already know at a very deep level. The one thing that was different for me this time was I spent a couple hours on the drinking question on Day 1, and really talked to God about the issue. Not apologizing, not begging, just talking..."Here I am....I keep doing this...I don't want to keep doing this...No excuses...I just want to be done, and know that I'm done...." I felt like I got more real than I'd ever been before.
That didn't change things 100%. Right now I'm home on my day off from work, alone, with some overtime $ in the bank and some more coming in the next couple weeks....this is not usually a good place for me to be when it comes to controlling my behavior. But I'm gonna mow the lawn, and clean up around the house, and appreciate how when we care for something we have and clean it it's like getting that thing new all over again. Sort of. Anyways, it's free
And I'm not going to drink today, and I'm going to wake up sober tomorrow. And I hope you do the same. I know the more I share and interact with you all the more I feel like I got this. And that WE got this. Not 100% sure how this works, but it seems to work anyways.
Peace to you, good luck, and looking forward to seeing you around the threads!
I the moment after the damage everything seems so obvious and simple, then some time passes and things get a little cloudy, then there we are again picking up the pieces, if we're lucky enough to have any pieces left.
I probably can't tell you anything you don't already know at a very deep level. The one thing that was different for me this time was I spent a couple hours on the drinking question on Day 1, and really talked to God about the issue. Not apologizing, not begging, just talking..."Here I am....I keep doing this...I don't want to keep doing this...No excuses...I just want to be done, and know that I'm done...." I felt like I got more real than I'd ever been before.
That didn't change things 100%. Right now I'm home on my day off from work, alone, with some overtime $ in the bank and some more coming in the next couple weeks....this is not usually a good place for me to be when it comes to controlling my behavior. But I'm gonna mow the lawn, and clean up around the house, and appreciate how when we care for something we have and clean it it's like getting that thing new all over again. Sort of. Anyways, it's free
And I'm not going to drink today, and I'm going to wake up sober tomorrow. And I hope you do the same. I know the more I share and interact with you all the more I feel like I got this. And that WE got this. Not 100% sure how this works, but it seems to work anyways.
Peace to you, good luck, and looking forward to seeing you around the threads!
You can do better than hope and actively make this your last relapse
why not make a recovery action plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
why not make a recovery action plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
The judge releases me on remand after the scariest court appearance my drinking has caused me, then, within seconds, bam! I go and do something stupid
I take the fatal first drink and by the end of that day I had been arrested again. How could it happen. Number one I was just face to face in the most compelling way with a good reason not to drink, and two, when I took the drink, I just wanted to relax and had no intention of getting locked up again.
Well, that seems to be the pattern for a chronic alcoholic.
I take the fatal first drink and by the end of that day I had been arrested again. How could it happen. Number one I was just face to face in the most compelling way with a good reason not to drink, and two, when I took the drink, I just wanted to relax and had no intention of getting locked up again.
Well, that seems to be the pattern for a chronic alcoholic.
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Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 365
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
I'm going to focus on how I don't really get anything from drinking and how great I feel the next day.
I think a lot of my issues are due to stress and depression which then leads to drinking which leads to anxiety and the whole circle goes around and around.
I just need to step out of the circle. By removing the one thing that is the constant issue I feel so much better almost right away.
I think a lot of my issues are due to stress and depression which then leads to drinking which leads to anxiety and the whole circle goes around and around.
I just need to step out of the circle. By removing the one thing that is the constant issue I feel so much better almost right away.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 67
I'm about to go to sleep on another day of not drinking and it's a Friday night. All the while in my complex 3 restaurants are serving booze and there is a store down the corner not even 5 mins away. I'm happy to say, I don't mind it at all. I got a few urges due to some stress at work, but I just made the choice not today. Have a great day everyone.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I hope you are able to attain a life of sobriety as it sounds like your like being sober. Alcohol is everywhere, life's stresses are always present. We need to deal with them in a healthy way. Glad you went to bed sober on a Friday night.
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Join Date: Jun 2017
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Zero is the magic number.
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