You sound just like me so many times
I the moment after the damage everything seems so obvious and simple, then some time passes and things get a little cloudy, then there we are again picking up the pieces, if we're lucky enough to have any pieces left.
I probably can't tell you anything you don't already know at a very deep level. The one thing that was different for me this time was I spent a couple hours on the drinking question on Day 1, and really talked to God about the issue. Not apologizing, not begging, just talking..."Here I am....I keep doing this...I don't want to keep doing this...No excuses...I just want to be done, and know that I'm done...." I felt like I got more real than I'd ever been before.
That didn't change things 100%. Right now I'm home on my day off from work, alone, with some overtime $ in the bank and some more coming in the next couple weeks....this is not usually a good place for me to be when it comes to controlling my behavior. But I'm gonna mow the lawn, and clean up around the house, and appreciate how when we care for something we have and clean it it's like getting that thing new all over again. Sort of. Anyways, it's free
And I'm not going to drink today, and I'm going to wake up sober tomorrow. And I hope you do the same. I know the more I share and interact with you all the more I feel like I got this. And that WE got this. Not 100% sure how this works, but it seems to work anyways.
Peace to you, good luck, and looking forward to seeing you around the threads!