aajajen

Well today is Day 1 of the rest of my life. My sober life. I have tried before and failed. Enough is enough. I probably drink 3 nights a week on average but as soon as the first sip passes my lips, look out. I can't stop. Every time I drink I black out and turn into a crazy person. Last night I put away 3 bottles of wine. How am I even still alive. I didn't even know that I had drank a third bottle until I was cleaning up the mess I had left on the balcony this morning. Apart from feeling like **** when I come around in the morning and feeling guilty knowing that I was probably horrible to my partner the night before, I regularly have to rush onto Facebook to check if I did anything stupid and check my call list on my phone to see who I called or tried to call and try to recall what I said. No more. I have been drinking for about 20 years, for at least 10 of that I have been drinking myself into oblivion, alone. Today marks the beginning of my new normal

Dee74

you can do this aajajen

Start looking at what you need to do to stay sober - make a plan, and use it

D

MyTime86

It's worth it, I quit 8 months ago.
Their will be ups and downs the first few months but trust me it gets better!

JaneLane

Welcome!

I agree with Dee, start making a plan. Also read widely on here! This place is filled with good advice and I've found a lot :-)

aajajen

Thanks for your wisdom and words. May I ask what do you mean by making a plan?

awuh1

Here is a helpful thread for things to include in your plan. It's at the top of this forum.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

JaneLane

Thanks Awuh! I'm on the mobile app so finding the link was tricky!

Dee74

I'm glad you asked - awuhs link is a good 'un

D

Soberwolf

I think the recovery plan link is amazing and really useful

JaneLane

Me too. I actually just went through it on my phone and took lots of notes :-)

Anna

I'm glad to hear you're making the decision to stop drinking. You will find lots of support here.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Aajajen!!

strategery

Welcome Aajajen! I'm glad you're here!

aajajen

Day 2 today. Feeling good about the positive changes that I am implementing. Went to the doctor and have been prescribed naltrexone to help ward off any cravings. Planning to work on my recovery plan over the next few days. Have a work function to attend this evening and planning only to go for an hour and steer clear of the bar. Have openly told a couple of colleagues that I am off the booze for extra support. Day 3 is just around the corner, determined to stay on the wagon!!!

aajajen

Ok i failed, drank 3 glasses of champagne at the party and I'm drunk. Got a bottle of wine after I got home and had a fight with my partner about it. Glass after glass and the glass is running on empty and all I can think about is getting another bottle. Damn it!

chickippo

ok, so you didn't change your life immediately you decided to. this takes work.

whether you do AA or not, 'one day at a time' is a hugely helpful mindset. the rest of your life will follow in time.

ScottFromWI

You may need to avoid those types of situations completely for a while, I know that I did. Do you have a sponsor in AA yet? You might want to consider that and don't forget to call some numbers when you feel tempted...it can be very helpful to have someone else to "talk you down" at the other end of the line real-time.

aajajen

Thanks for the advice. I managed to resist the urge to get another bottle but feeling very remorseful and stupid today. Day 1 again today! I'm determined to do this!!!

aajajen

I have not gone to AA as yet and I am not sure if it is the right fit for me. I did go once a few years ago and didn't feel at ease with the whole thing. Wondering whether I should give it another go. I have made an appointment with a psychotherapist this weekend to discuss my situation with them and my partner, family and friends are all very supportive. I am also finding this space very helpful and am encouraged by the stories of success and reminded that I am not alone in this. One day at a time sounds like a good mantra to follow!

JaneLane

I went to AA last year, then didn't start going again until fairly recently. I went back to meetings because I relapsed and my whole attitude is that if something wasn't working, then something needs to change and for me that was going to meetings.

If you want to give it a go, try a couple of different ones and see what you think!

Otherwise there's often now some kind of community support. I go to a drug and alcohol addiction centre run by the area I live in and that's nothing to do with AA.