Chasingthedream

A few of us have had intermittent bad days recently...

Now it's my turn.

Nothing has happened- I am still clean, so that in itself is a battle won, but I just don't feel good.

Has anyone else experienced massive mood changes. I almost feel bi polar (I'm not, and it's definitely not a possibility). I can have massive natural highs where I literally love life and feel I can take on the world. Then the next day I can be on a complete downer, finding no pleasure in anything.

To be honest, it's exhausting, and I feel stressed out.

Even to the point last night where I started to think about scoring. It is NOT an option, and I didn't even come close, but I think like Redmanc said in his post, it's just a default setting that I've programmed my brain to use drugs as a coping mechanism for stress, anger, boredom, etc.

So, I've been awake since 4.30 am just feeling upset and worried that I even had that thought last night.

I guess maybe my mood swings are down to PAWS?

I have also given up sugar, I know it's a lot to handle at once, but I really feel my body needs to be healthy.

Any words of wisdom guys?

Fluffer

Yep, sounds like PAWS to me.

I sometimes feel like a manic depressive idiot myself these days.


Just keep hanging in there is it will pass....

Chasingthedream

Thanks Fluffer.

I know in my head its PAWS, it's just so exhausting at times, would be nice to feel more on an even keel, but I guess patience is the word of the day!

kj3880

Ah, the mood roller coaster of early recovery! Yep, to be expected. You're right where you should be, as unpleasant as it sometimes seems. It gets better every day by a bit. And the "pink cloud days" make up for the gray misty days until it levels off. If your mood starts to be consistently troubling, as mine was after a year of quitting opiates, see a doctor. I forgot, since I used opiates for years, that I suffer from chronic depression normally. I need meds for that when I'm not on the pain pills. Otherwise, it's too hard.

Dee74

Hey chasingthedream

I think a certain emotional instability affects nearly everyone - it took me nearly 3 months to find some kind of consistency emotionally.

I'm not a Dr but if this link rings any bells then yeah you might be able to put a name to it:
PAWS | Digital Dharma

The important thing to remember is this stuff is not there forever - it passes

D

RedManc7

I've deffo got paws, one day I'm
Snarling at staff and wanting to pick fights with strangers when they get in my way in the street the next day I'm feeling peaceful and positive and wondering why I felt so out of character the previous day. Don't give it any energy, just accept it's that bloody PAWS again and ride it out. It will be reet chasing.

Spacegoat

Yeah, I'm all over the place today could have taken on the world this morning.

Only been up a few hours and going back to bed now because 'I can't even'

I feel like grumpy cat! http://youtu.be/INscMGmhmX4. PAWS thing sounds reassuring

RedManc7

I was feeling down then saw Chelsea and Man City both got beat and are knocked out of the cup and am buzzing now! That's beautiful news I'm so happy now. that will keep my PAWS away!

tired28

If you dont mind me asking, how long have you been sober for? Ive been sober for 2 and half months and im still going through the same thing, especially tonight. I will not drink, but sometimes the loneliness and boredome gets the best of me and my mood starts going crazy too. You are not alone, but id also like to know how long this lasts.

We are in this together <3

RedManc7

Sorry tired are you asking me or someone else? Don't want to look a fool when you reply, errr, RedManc I wasn't asking you you nitwit!

tired28

I was just asking how long you have been sober for, cuz im going through the same thing , :P

gnarlyboots

Glad I'm not the only one, feels like I have bloody bipolar atm. Isn't it weird how we forget the obvious things, I'd totally forgotten about PAWS, that must have something to do with it.

RedManc7

I've been clean since dec 19th - PAWS factor high at times. Booze is an anaesthetic to me, there a good reason it's the legal drug - just numbs you to reality. What you doing instead of boozing? What have you replaced it with, have to replace one habit with another I'm sure you know that. I like the day times best, at night the wolves start howling in my ear and I don't enjoy night as much. If you anything like me you used to solve your problems, they were my solution. Now I have to deal with my problems straight. Too early for me to say whether it's just me/my personality or PAWS or depression etc. Too early for me personally to give that any energy - I'm focusing on building a clean life and activities/behaviours that support it. I'm not giving much energy to my emotions - unless like the other day they overwhelm me to the level where I think about using. Dealing with the emotional mess inside me can wait till I've got more clean time under my belt. Stay strong :-) life will get better clean/sober and we all know using/boozing doesn't solve anything.

Chasingthedream

To be honest in a weird way I can deal with the lows more head on- I know they're down to PAWS, and if possible I just ignore them or go back to bed. It's the highs I am finding disconcerting. It's like I'm literally on a drug- buzzing with the day ahead etc... it's a proper high like a rush almost, and now I've had a few of them and I know they're 'not real', it freaks me out!

I've been clean about the same as you tired. I'm not counting the days as i've done that so many times in the past and it doesn't seem to help. I now just feel that this is my life and therefore why would i count days... that works better for me. Although I know i'll feel proud when i get to big milestones like a year...

I'm really focussing on being healthy too Red. I'm getting right into this healthy eating/no sugar thing. Got a fridge full of green juices hahaha. It's all good though.

Really want to get back to my running, but hurt my back and my hip in the last 6 months so focusing on gentler things at the moment. Would like to be a yoga head like Red but need to find the right class....

Happy Sunday everyone. Feeling well today, hope you all are too

four812

Yup I've been up down all around as well. We are not alone

sugarbear1

there are foods that will help you that don't have sugar....nuts and cherries come to mind....do a search!

Chasingthedream

Thanks Dee. You're always lurking in the background with amazing words of wisdom. I have read that Digital Dharma article and it makes loads of sense.

Chasingthedream

Thanks Sugbear- I'm eating nuts by the bucketful, as well as coconut and anything as full of fat as possible! Oh and green juices

I'm actually feeling pretty evangelical about the whole no sugar thing, so I'd better not get started on it!

Chasingthedream

Hey guys. Still on the emotional roller coaster that is PAWS. Aargh, it's hard work!

I have really 'up' days, really 'down' days, and then days filled with anxiety, but I'm just trying to think of my little brain trying to re-set itself, and also of all those nasty little toxins leaving my body. I sure don't ever want to go through this again.

Just trying to take it easy, not put too much pressure on myself. This year will be a quiet one, hopefully one in which I will focus on myself and work a few things out. That's all i can do I guess!

I find when I have too much on, it can be a bit overwhelming. This is difficult to sort out though with 2 small children with lots of demands! But yesterday when I was feeling really bad, I decided to write a list of all the things I'm grateful for instead of dwelling on my negative feelings. It really helped.

Have a peaceful day friends

TiredEnough

I had the same thing way back when. Super high highs and bone crushing lows. Tons of anxiety too. It passed eventually. I think its normal.