mkintexas

Well, I come and go come and go come and go.

5 hours ago was the start of my quitting. CT. Thats because 4 hours ago I was offered a new job. A very good job. I was not expecting it. Doesn't matter. My bad decisions are going to f*** me. I have not received any paper work yet, but I know there will be a drug test. I probably will not get the job because I doubt I will pass the test even if I don't use anything from here to there (My DOC is oxy and hydro). I guess if me quitting comes out of this then it is a net gain. But, sucks that I could not get this under control and have most likely cost myself a good position (I am currently employed).

Hell, lets be honest. I don't really deserve the job until I am sober and no longer making foolish life decisions.

Right now I am depressed and dejected. I know in my heart I am not a loser. I am a good father and human, but I am an addict and it is going to finally bite me.

Maybe this is rock bottom, it sure feels like rock bottom. Not only am I facing the possibility of not getting this nice job. The next 7 days are going to suck from what I read.. But, 7 days for the rest of your life is a good trade. I wonder if i will think that in 24 hours.

Dee74

I agree with you - regardless of any tests or whether you get the job or not, the best thing you can do is get clean and sober and stay that way MK.

D

Azraehl

I know what you mean about bad decisions biting you in the arse. I hardly have any arse left lol.
If you have 7 days to get clean that's cake man! You can do this no sweat.. well okay maybe some sweat heh.
I am at the end of day 5.. the last 4 days have been a nightmare to be honest but today the sun started to poke through the clouds and I actually felt a small measure of happiness which I am still clinging to. It's not going to be easy but I have faith in you that you can do this. And there's no reason you shouldn't deserve this job.. your addiction doesn't deserve it though so it needs to hit the road. Something tells me you wouldn't have been offered the job in the first place if you didn't deserve it.

Could be this is Someone's way of giving you a great reason to get clean. Could be Someone wants you to know good things are coming your way if your willing and ready to make a change.

I am pulling for you, to make a change first and foremost, and if you end up with the job.. well that's just an added bonus!
-Az

eveleivibe

First all that is brilliant news. One you have been offered a new job n two you are detoxing.

Journal all the withdrawals down n then you'll have them as a reminder where not to go back. Keep posting here for support.

That's a negative attitude to think you will not get the job. Ok there may be drug testing. Be honest. Tell them you had a drug problem n that you are tackling it. You have found ways to overcome the problem. Is that not what you do in a job anyway? For instance, a car's broke you fix it - may take time but you do it by working through a plan. Sometimes you need equipment in order to complete the task. Sometimes you need people (eg to bring parts) n so forth.

The low feelings are provably down to withdrawal. Try to acknowledge what may be down to withdrawal n see if you can turn it around.

For instance, instead of, 'I screwed up,' 'I must have done something right to have been offered a new job.'

You acknowledge you're a good father, which is positive. Start with that n keep going.

Good luck n well done n the job offer n beginning detox. We are here to support you n listen anytime.

Evey

exauhsted

Aren't we ALL....

Paying for bad decisions?

Just keep on trying to make the right ones and the first right one was to get sober.

Good on you!!!! You can do it!!!!!