Jeanie84

My ABF who has used heroin and opiates for the past 11 years has started taking suboxone, he is buying them off of the streets. I basically pushed him into taking them because I needed something, anything to change from what was happening, I couldn't cope with his addiction and begged him to at least start taking subs so I didn't have to watch him nod off anymore.
I would have rather him go to a detox, then a clinic for the subs (of course I'm aware that it doesn't matter what I want, but at this point any change would have made me happier). I know that he will most likely relapse by buying the subs from the same dealers who can get him heroin, etc.
Anyways my question is what are the side effects of taking subs? I am asking because of course, I don't trust it. Sometimes his pupils are dialated, he sweats a lot and seems pretty tired, although not quite nodding off. He seems more agitated than he was before. I'm just confused because his behavior is different everyday, and that's how he was when he was using dope. Is there even a way for me to tell whether or not he is high or on the subs?
I'm bitter about the whole experience and I often have to bite my tongue and choose my battles. I don't want to accuse him of being high when he's actually trying and taking subs. But I have no idea if this is just another lie or what? He says he's only taking one per day, either one film strip or one pill, depending on what is available. And to me that seems to be too little for someone who has used almost daily for 11 years.
Any info on subs behavioral/physical side effects would help.

aquasport13

I would encourage him to see a Dr who works with subs. Once a day seems odd for someone who used daily. I was on 8mg a day to start, but took 3 portions a day. He may be getting too much at once, not enough for his WD's or too much. It definately isn't something to be messed with and is tough to get off as well. I am no Dr but someone needs to monitor his condition and you shouldn't be his babysitter- supportive yes, but I would highly recommend that he gets into a Dr who works with subs as well as counseling- but only if he wants clean, not just because you want him clean. Success only comes when "we" do it for ourselves, one great bi-product is those we love benefit as well. Wish you the best, check out the other posts on here for for spouses of users and Al-anon type groups. Hope he can beat it, but keeping up with his "dealer" is looking for more trouble- they aren't his friends and don't give 2 poops about him- and certainly aren't smart enough to make health decisions! You came to a good place, maybe he can come here too eventually. Great support and non-judgemental!

beenthere80

I am currently on suboxone for abusing oxycodone. I was addicted to these things for about 2 yrs using 20 pills a day of 30mg immediate release! Disgusting and hard to believe I know, but I am clean now for 80 days because of suboxone For the first week or so I would sweat BIG TIME I would have cold sweats because although you don't feel the strong withdraws when your on suboxone they are still happening but the suboxone is masking it... Irritability is still present for me, I always feel like something is missing and haven't yet returned to happy self...I still crave it all the time!!! I do think that's a really low dose for someone coming off heroin and opiates. I started at 24mg a day and still take this 2 1/2 months later... SO I would find a doctor who could prescribed the appropriate dose.. Good Luck to you!!! Be supportive it's extremely hard to be alone in such a rough time.

Jeanie84

Thank you Beenthere. I thought that he was not taking enough considering his amount of usage for such a long period of time. Is it possible to take the subs most of the time and then one day still be able to get high on heroin? I'm asking because when he is high he is extremely loving towards me. And typically he is not. Since he has been taking teh subs he has acted the same way he does when he is high. So it's very difficult for me to even tell whether its just mood swings or what. Thanks for you reply and support!

Marcus

He should definitely get in to see a doctor. Even if he was on the correct amount having to go see his dealer to get them would be a huge trigger for me. I too was a regular H user for years regularly doing $200 + a day (which on the low end would be at least 1600 mg of oxy) and I started out at 12 mg of suboxone a day and quickly went down to 8. For me I see no reason to be on more than that. I know a few people who are taking 32 mg a day for a norco habit which seems crazy.

It does take a few days to get used to the medication when you first start taking it. Sweating and dilated pupils are pretty common and can closely mimic full opiate side effects. If it continues he might be on too high a dose (Another reason to see a doctor). If you use right after you take the medication you will not feel much from it depending on your dose. Another reason why doctors prescribe higher doses is to keep you from getting high should you use. If you skip a day and use the high might not be quite as good, but you will definitely feel it. The only way to truly know if he is using is a drug test and I doubt you want to start playing those games.

I hope he is getting some other outside support (which I kind of doubt since he is scoring subs from his dealer). I struggled for 5 years to quit H and hadn't been at it as long as your boyfriend has. Meetings, outpatient, inpatient, one on one therapy or whatever it might be OR a combination of them. It is a very tough drug to kick and most users I know that have been at it several years have pretty low bottoms unfortunately. Your brain remembers how it feels and takes a good 6 months before you feel semi-stable and often longer than that.

I hope things work out for you. Take Care!!!

Jeanie84

Thank you Marcus! That was very helpful. He is still a bit in denial. He is angry and yes, he has no bottom. He is the type of guy that I think would be perfectly content living in a tent somewhere in the middle of the woods with no contact. I know that he is not quite ready yet. I am hoping that these subs might open his eyes a bit more. Ease him into seeing what his usage has caused and eventually be at the point where he is ready for substantial help in getting clean. I think he really needs a lengthy rehab with therapy and the whole nine. I am not ready to give him the ultimatum yet as we've just had a baby two months ago and I am afraid that he will say no and I will lose him. I know that it sounds silly. But I am hopeful that someday he will see the light. Until then I am trying hard to concentrate on myself and my children. Of course that is much easier said than done when in the throes of living with an active addict. It has helped muchly just by coming on this site the last few days. I approach him and the whole situation on a more fact based manner as opposed to emotional. I do think he is on the subs but it just has gotten to the point where I question everything and trust very little.

Marcus

Did he go through withdrawals before starting the subs? For me subs did not help at all with H withdrawals until about the 4th day and the worst of it was over already. I am not quite sure why that was because I hear of people saying how they avoided withdrawals with sub, but not me no matter how much I took.

So how is he able to pay for his habit? I would think if he is a daily user he would have to be using at least $50 a day which is over 18 grand a year. I know that is a drop in the bucket for some people, but if you have a child together I think that finances could turn into a major issue if they haven't already.

You are in a sh*tty situation no matter how you look at it. A 2 month old?? Wow congratulations!!! I can't imagine what you must be going through emotionally right now. Kids definitely change your perspective. I hope it changes his. Good Luck!!!

Jeanie84

Honestly I can't even tell if he went through withdrawals because it seems to me that he always feels like **** no matter what. A couple of years ago he started having stomache issues. He has gone to a couple specialists (of course never telling the docs that he is an addict) but regardless of them not yet finding a reason for his ailments, they prescribed him some meds and treated him as if he has Chrones Disease. So on a weekly basis, he goes one day constipated, the next he has the runs, the next he is throwing up (the last two weeks he has thrown up nearly every day). He either is dripping sweat or has the cold sweats. He gets up and goes to work everyday. He builds houses and has had the same job for 7 years. It's very difficult for me to tell what he's on, when, and if, because he's so damn good at it. And as I said, his symptoms (physical and emotionally) are different literally every day.
How does he pay for it? Well, he usually gives me around 1/4 or sometimes 1/2 of his paycheck to pay for bills. I never really know how much he gets paid because they pay him in cash. Occassionally he steals some of that money back from me ( a $20 here and $40 there). I stopped keeping cash on me and trusting him with money obviously. He smokes weed as well so on top of his $200 a week pot habit I guessed he's spending about $50 a day on H. Jesus. That's $550 per week on drugs. And yes, we are three months behind on rent. Cable is about to be shut off. Car insurance (we share a vehicle) is late, along with every other bill that we have. He's been spending $10-$15 on one sub. And he says that he is taking one sub per day. I'm not sure of the mg. In any case, I am in a ****** situation.
I love my son, and I do not regret having him. My ABF is a good father despite his addiction.

The more I post on here the more I feel like an idiot.
I have chosen to stay with him and ride out the storm because I feel/hope that someday this will all change.
But really, perhaps because of my choice I have no room to complain as I am doing nothing to change it. Except crossing my fingers.

Marcus

The cost of a habit is pretty scary when you put it on paper. I have easily spent $250,000 on opiates alone not counting some of the other habits I had before that (booze/coke/gambling/weed). I have 3 kids myself and rarely a day goes by that I don't get sick about how that has affected their future. I am currently 9 months sober, but will be feeling the financial effects of my use for years and years to come. Wouldn't it be nice to have that extra $2,200+ a month to cover your bills ($28,000+ a year)?

I too thought I was an okay dad when using, but lets be honest how good of a dad can you be when you are high all of the time? Sure I was there physically (most of the time), but I was checked out mentally. Something to think about as you move forward. Your child is only 2 months so right now maybe he holds the baby for a bit or whatever (which by the way is not very safe for someone nodding out), but as time goes on I can tell you active addiction has a tremendous affect on a child.

Well I don't want to preach to you. You seem to know what you are up against. As you say you have chosen to stay with him. Hope / crossing your fingers doesn't get you too far dealing with addicts. Maybe you do not think the consequences of his use are that bad, but if you are out on the street because you can't pay rent or you can't buy clothes for the baby because all the money is going to drugs that might be a wake up call. The financial impact is just the tip of the iceberg too.

You deserve better. Your child deserves better. I hope for both your sakes something changes. Take Care!!

Lyoness

Yours is the first post of read of someone on subs with a habit as big as mine. I started subs last week and was surprised and confused by feeling like I was and wasn't in withdrawals at the same time. How long did that last for you?

And how have the mental/emotional withdrawals been? I'm finding I don't physically crave opiates while on subs but mentally and emotionally it's a nightmare! Have you found anything that works for this part?