Overdose at Home
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Overdose at Home
My oldest and dearest friend in the world lives here in my hometown. We have been friends since we were 12 and in the 7th grade. We are closer than some sisters, I think.
She called me yesterday at 2:05. I was at work. She was crying and said, "Cats can you come over?" And I said "yes, of course. I'm on my way" She's that kind of friend. She asks and the answer is "yes, of course. I'm on my way". I'll figure out why I'm going once I'm on my way.
I don't know how I knew, from those 5 words that she spoke, that her BF of 17 years was dead. I just knew. And dang him, I am fairly sure it was an overdose. She wants to believe it was his heart, and it might have been - at age 53 after a lot of drinking and drug use, it may have given out... who knows. Toxicology and autopsy will tell next week sometime.
She went home for lunch from work, which she very seldom does. She found him on the couch in their home. She called 9-1-1 and tried to do CPR. The police were there within 2 or 3 minutes, but there was no helping him. He was already dead.
She said the police picked up a pipe off of the floor, and she was totally dumbfounded. If he was using again, she honestly had no idea. She really thought he was clean and had been for awhile, although he did not attend meetings or get any kind of help after he went to treatment a few yrs ago. They asked her if he used meth, or maybe crack? She really had no idea. She's pretty sure it wasn't meth, and knows he had done crack before but thought he was done with it. Was he that good at hiding it from her? Or was her denial really that strong? I don't know...
I was the first person she called, and he was still there on the couch when i arrived about 10 min later. The police and medical examiner were there, and took pictures and did whatever else it was they had to do. She waited outside.
I went over to where he was, and I yelled at him. "You DUMB*SS how could you do this to her?" And then I realized, he didn't do it to her. He just did it.
I am so angry. I couldn't sleep last night. GOD ALMIGHTY I hate this disease. And I'm having troubles getting the picture of him dead on the couch out of my head.
Please send up your prayers for S, and for R and for those who loved him. And for me, that I will know how to support my dear friend, who needs me right now.
Oh, and for R's son B. They recently reconciled after years of being apart. He's serving in Afghanistan and will get the news today or tomorrow that his dad died and will have to make a long and lonely trip back home for the funeral.
It's just so sad. All of it.
She called me yesterday at 2:05. I was at work. She was crying and said, "Cats can you come over?" And I said "yes, of course. I'm on my way" She's that kind of friend. She asks and the answer is "yes, of course. I'm on my way". I'll figure out why I'm going once I'm on my way.
I don't know how I knew, from those 5 words that she spoke, that her BF of 17 years was dead. I just knew. And dang him, I am fairly sure it was an overdose. She wants to believe it was his heart, and it might have been - at age 53 after a lot of drinking and drug use, it may have given out... who knows. Toxicology and autopsy will tell next week sometime.
She went home for lunch from work, which she very seldom does. She found him on the couch in their home. She called 9-1-1 and tried to do CPR. The police were there within 2 or 3 minutes, but there was no helping him. He was already dead.
She said the police picked up a pipe off of the floor, and she was totally dumbfounded. If he was using again, she honestly had no idea. She really thought he was clean and had been for awhile, although he did not attend meetings or get any kind of help after he went to treatment a few yrs ago. They asked her if he used meth, or maybe crack? She really had no idea. She's pretty sure it wasn't meth, and knows he had done crack before but thought he was done with it. Was he that good at hiding it from her? Or was her denial really that strong? I don't know...
I was the first person she called, and he was still there on the couch when i arrived about 10 min later. The police and medical examiner were there, and took pictures and did whatever else it was they had to do. She waited outside.
I went over to where he was, and I yelled at him. "You DUMB*SS how could you do this to her?" And then I realized, he didn't do it to her. He just did it.
I am so angry. I couldn't sleep last night. GOD ALMIGHTY I hate this disease. And I'm having troubles getting the picture of him dead on the couch out of my head.
Please send up your prayers for S, and for R and for those who loved him. And for me, that I will know how to support my dear friend, who needs me right now.
Oh, and for R's son B. They recently reconciled after years of being apart. He's serving in Afghanistan and will get the news today or tomorrow that his dad died and will have to make a long and lonely trip back home for the funeral.
It's just so sad. All of it.
So much sad news around lately. Thinking of you all. And what a wonderful friend you are!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
My prayers go out for your friend and R's son, and all who loved him. And special prayers for you, I think your friend has a special angel in you because you truly understand what this is all about and you can help her through the troubling days ahead...as she will help you, this must have been a terrible shock for both of you.
May R rest peacefully in the arms of God.
May R rest peacefully in the arms of God.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
i'm so very sorry to hear your news. it's good that you're there for her....the toxicology can take a while to come back. the shock will wear off soon and it will be even harder on her. 53 is younger than me.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm so sorry, Cat. There are never any words. Your friend is so blessed to have you - someone who will understand and support her during this time. There is so much to process.
I hope that in a very short time, that image leaves you and you find comfort. Prayers for you, your friend and R's son and all who love and miss him.
I hope that in a very short time, that image leaves you and you find comfort. Prayers for you, your friend and R's son and all who love and miss him.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
I'm so sorry. She may be in agony, thinking she might have saved him somehow. She'll need you there, reminding her of her powerlessness. And how much you love her.
After a long period of sobriety, the addict loses tolerance. If he returns to the drug, and uses the same amount as before, he could die with the first hit. It is very possible he was not using until now, and that her instinct that he had been clean is right. She may feel so hurt and betrayed and wonder what has been real between them. But it is so very possible that this was his first time, first relapse, and it killed him.
God bless you all. May his soul be at peace.
After a long period of sobriety, the addict loses tolerance. If he returns to the drug, and uses the same amount as before, he could die with the first hit. It is very possible he was not using until now, and that her instinct that he had been clean is right. She may feel so hurt and betrayed and wonder what has been real between them. But it is so very possible that this was his first time, first relapse, and it killed him.
God bless you all. May his soul be at peace.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 924
grief. so sorry to hear this.
you are lucky to have one another. maybe you can help her by just being present. sometimes our culture is so afraid of grief, and then paralyzed with fear when the grief is compounded by "taboo deaths" of OD and suicide. your solid presence will be a great help...just having someone who is not afraid of the grief.
prayers are with all
you are lucky to have one another. maybe you can help her by just being present. sometimes our culture is so afraid of grief, and then paralyzed with fear when the grief is compounded by "taboo deaths" of OD and suicide. your solid presence will be a great help...just having someone who is not afraid of the grief.
prayers are with all
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Keeping you both in my prayers today, Cats. Once the "doing" is done, your friend may find a deeper pain and anger and sadness when the reality sets in. She is blessed to have you as an understanding friend.
Hugs
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: MI
Posts: 452
Another horrible tragedy. I'm so sorry for your friend, her family, and for you. Your friend is blessed to have such a supportive friend as you. I know how invaluable that loving support can be in a time of intense grief. My prayers go out to your friend, her family, and you.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Cats))
Please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your sweet friend, S and for R's son B ~ and for everyone that loves R ~
I read on this site ~ "he is not defined by his disease" I'm sure like all our loved ones ~ he will be missed by many ~
Prayers of strength, courage and wisdom for you as you comfort your friend ~ (and yes, take good care of you in your grief too!)
gentle PINK HUGS for all,
Rita
Please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your sweet friend, S and for R's son B ~ and for everyone that loves R ~
I read on this site ~ "he is not defined by his disease" I'm sure like all our loved ones ~ he will be missed by many ~
Prayers of strength, courage and wisdom for you as you comfort your friend ~ (and yes, take good care of you in your grief too!)
gentle PINK HUGS for all,
Rita
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