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Overdose at Home

Old 04-07-2012, 02:29 PM
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Overdose at Home

My oldest and dearest friend in the world lives here in my hometown. We have been friends since we were 12 and in the 7th grade. We are closer than some sisters, I think.

She called me yesterday at 2:05. I was at work. She was crying and said, "Cats can you come over?" And I said "yes, of course. I'm on my way" She's that kind of friend. She asks and the answer is "yes, of course. I'm on my way". I'll figure out why I'm going once I'm on my way.

I don't know how I knew, from those 5 words that she spoke, that her BF of 17 years was dead. I just knew. And dang him, I am fairly sure it was an overdose. She wants to believe it was his heart, and it might have been - at age 53 after a lot of drinking and drug use, it may have given out... who knows. Toxicology and autopsy will tell next week sometime.

She went home for lunch from work, which she very seldom does. She found him on the couch in their home. She called 9-1-1 and tried to do CPR. The police were there within 2 or 3 minutes, but there was no helping him. He was already dead.

She said the police picked up a pipe off of the floor, and she was totally dumbfounded. If he was using again, she honestly had no idea. She really thought he was clean and had been for awhile, although he did not attend meetings or get any kind of help after he went to treatment a few yrs ago. They asked her if he used meth, or maybe crack? She really had no idea. She's pretty sure it wasn't meth, and knows he had done crack before but thought he was done with it. Was he that good at hiding it from her? Or was her denial really that strong? I don't know...

I was the first person she called, and he was still there on the couch when i arrived about 10 min later. The police and medical examiner were there, and took pictures and did whatever else it was they had to do. She waited outside.

I went over to where he was, and I yelled at him. "You DUMB*SS how could you do this to her?" And then I realized, he didn't do it to her. He just did it.

I am so angry. I couldn't sleep last night. GOD ALMIGHTY I hate this disease. And I'm having troubles getting the picture of him dead on the couch out of my head.

Please send up your prayers for S, and for R and for those who loved him. And for me, that I will know how to support my dear friend, who needs me right now.

Oh, and for R's son B. They recently reconciled after years of being apart. He's serving in Afghanistan and will get the news today or tomorrow that his dad died and will have to make a long and lonely trip back home for the funeral.

It's just so sad. All of it.
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Old 04-07-2012, 02:36 PM
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So much sad news around lately. Thinking of you all. And what a wonderful friend you are!
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Old 04-07-2012, 02:45 PM
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My prayers go out for your friend and R's son, and all who loved him. And special prayers for you, I think your friend has a special angel in you because you truly understand what this is all about and you can help her through the troubling days ahead...as she will help you, this must have been a terrible shock for both of you.

May R rest peacefully in the arms of God.
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Old 04-07-2012, 02:56 PM
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i'm so very sorry to hear your news. it's good that you're there for her....the toxicology can take a while to come back. the shock will wear off soon and it will be even harder on her. 53 is younger than me.
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Old 04-07-2012, 02:58 PM
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I'm so sorry, Cat. There are never any words. Your friend is so blessed to have you - someone who will understand and support her during this time. There is so much to process.

I hope that in a very short time, that image leaves you and you find comfort. Prayers for you, your friend and R's son and all who love and miss him.
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Old 04-07-2012, 03:01 PM
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Cats, my condolences and prayers to you, your friend and all who cared for him.
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Old 04-07-2012, 03:08 PM
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Prayers for this mans family and all who loved him, and prayers for you too (((Cats)))
The human toll of this thing gets me everytime.

D
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Old 04-07-2012, 03:13 PM
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Lots of good thoughts going out to you, your friend, his son, and the rest of the man's family.
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Old 04-07-2012, 03:35 PM
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Cats....you are a wonderful friend.! My heart goes out to you and your friend at this time; sending healing thoughts.
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Old 04-07-2012, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by CatsPajamas View Post
It's just so sad. All of it.
I've said those same words over and over in the last few minutes.

Healing thoughts and prayers are on the way. It's just so sad
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Old 04-07-2012, 05:04 PM
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(((Cats)))
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Old 04-07-2012, 05:54 PM
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I'm so sorry. She may be in agony, thinking she might have saved him somehow. She'll need you there, reminding her of her powerlessness. And how much you love her.

After a long period of sobriety, the addict loses tolerance. If he returns to the drug, and uses the same amount as before, he could die with the first hit. It is very possible he was not using until now, and that her instinct that he had been clean is right. She may feel so hurt and betrayed and wonder what has been real between them. But it is so very possible that this was his first time, first relapse, and it killed him.

God bless you all. May his soul be at peace.
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Old 04-07-2012, 05:54 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear about this. You are a very good friend. I can't imagine how hard it must have been there to see that. Prayers for you and your friend.
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Old 04-07-2012, 08:13 PM
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Cats
I'm so very sorry. All of you will be in my prayers. I hate this disease.
gentle hugs
ke
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Old 04-07-2012, 08:49 PM
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Prayers going up for your dear friend, his friends and family....and all of us, really. So much tragedy

How lucky you two are to have each other in times like these. What a blessing.
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Old 04-07-2012, 10:10 PM
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grief. so sorry to hear this.

you are lucky to have one another. maybe you can help her by just being present. sometimes our culture is so afraid of grief, and then paralyzed with fear when the grief is compounded by "taboo deaths" of OD and suicide. your solid presence will be a great help...just having someone who is not afraid of the grief.

prayers are with all
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Old 04-08-2012, 06:00 AM
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Keeping you both in my prayers today, Cats. Once the "doing" is done, your friend may find a deeper pain and anger and sadness when the reality sets in. She is blessed to have you as an understanding friend.

Hugs
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Old 04-08-2012, 06:04 AM
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(((Cats))) What horrendous news! I'm so very sorry for this loss.

Many prayers for you, your friend, and all who loved R.

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Old 04-08-2012, 07:41 AM
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Another horrible tragedy. I'm so sorry for your friend, her family, and for you. Your friend is blessed to have such a supportive friend as you. I know how invaluable that loving support can be in a time of intense grief. My prayers go out to your friend, her family, and you.
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:19 AM
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((Cats))

Please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your sweet friend, S and for R's son B ~ and for everyone that loves R ~
I read on this site ~ "he is not defined by his disease" I'm sure like all our loved ones ~ he will be missed by many ~

Prayers of strength, courage and wisdom for you as you comfort your friend ~ (and yes, take good care of you in your grief too!)

gentle PINK HUGS for all,
Rita
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