DayTrader

That Ain't in the Book!

We hear a lot of stuff said in meetings that can't be reconciled with the program as described in the Big Book. What follows are some of the things we often hear, along with what the Big Book has to say on the subject.

I have the MSFT Word doc uploaded and public on Google Docs. You can download it with the link below. It's a great resource when you hear things that aren't AA in an AA meeting (things like: remember your last drunk, don't drink and go to meetings, powerless over ppl/places/things, etc).

Check it out.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...Vr9Z3kmxc/edit

Veritas1

Thanks DT!

2granddaughters

Thanks DT:
Some things become more pertinent to new young folks when they come, and are still true to the BB, if they are "reworded" a bit. Slippery slope though...
Like they said "At the level of press, radio and films"... didn't mention Facebook or Twitter?

Best to you

Bob R. (across the river)

mattparadise

Thanks for the post. These all look very familiar to me. You have certainly done your homework with this one. I was told so many lies at some of these AA meeting that I doubt I could count them all.

Db1105

There is more to AA than just the Big Book. Just the second item of choosing not to drink today is one item. When I came in, I didn't have a choice not to drink. Today, the choice to drink is entirely mine to make.

As far as things said in meetings not in the BIg Book, so what? If there was supposed to be an AA Police of what could be said in meetings, I'm sure our founders would of included it in the Traditions.

Boleo

Also available at:

https://sites.google.com/a/londonppb.../www/dothedeal!

DayTrader

Of course there's more to it than just the book..... there's the practical application of the AA program of recovery in every area of your life. Discussing every possible situation and application will take a lifetime. That said though, the tools and the solution remain the same.

And Bill did write a tradition on it...... #5. There are also several references in the book such as "we have discovered a common solution."

If I'm at a table or in a meeting, I feel it's incumbent upon me to carry THE AA message, not my own.....and THE AA solution, not my own. While I do talk about how I apply those tools to my reality, the tools remain the same. When I've stepped outside those guideposts and shared MY solution to alcoholism, I'm depriving others of what they came to AA to get.

Terminally Unique

I've read this before, and FWIW, I agree with most of it. Good stuff. DT's version seems to be missing one of my favorites, though.
This version includes it, and a couple others as well:

That Ain't in the Big Book

Mark75

"We never get well"

I heard that once or twice. Never read it in the BB though.

mattparadise

"You can't recover without working the steps." That's another one.

Tommyh

I guess I will be the lone dissenter.Most of the stuff written seems to me to be products of extremism lacking common sense,with some big book clips that may not even apply to it.I have never heard most of that stuff in a AA meeting.

a few examples
"I choose not to drink today"
of course we could make a decision to go get a drink if we really wanted too.I could right now if I wanted too,but right now,I do not want a drink of booze.
So,I just made a choice to not drink,whether I wanted a drink or not.

"Think through the drink" "Remember your last drunk"
that is a sign of sanity,not insanity.We never could see the end of a drink before,just the start.I also could not remember my last drunk when the drink looked like a good thing,another sign of sanity.
learning to see the sane side of drinking and sobriety instead of the insanity.Retraining our minds.



"If an alcoholic wants to get sober, nothing you say can make him drink."

it depends on how bad I want to stay sober,you cannot get me sober nor can you make me drunk.I can`t get you sober nor make you drunk.

Db1105

You can take quotes out of any book to say anything you want. To say if you share your ESH at a meeting that is not is the Big Book is not carrying the AA message, but your own message, is just plain silly. To say you are depriving others of what they came to AA to get is not in the spirit of what AA is all about. If someone wants to ridgedly live by every sentence of the Big Book that is fine, when they start condemning or saying others are not practicing "real" AA, well, I just can't see how you can live the 12 steps and come to that conclusion. Especially for me for when I start judging others, I'm usually heading down the wrong path. The bottom line of AA is working and living the 12 steps. The Big Book was geared to the still active alcoholic. I for one get more out of reading the 12 & 12. With the OP's logic, that is inappropriate and denying people the message of AA in a meeting.

Thankfully, my home group which has been practicing and denying others the wrong kind of AA is well into its third decade of existance, with many members sober that long.

keithj

Whether I've been given the power to choose not to drink as the result of a spiritual awakening through taking the 12 Steps, or simply the problem has been removed as the result of the same actions, is largely a matter of personal experience with how that spiritual experience unfolded in my life. I've shared about my own experience with being unable to take a drink even when I chose to. But that's just my personal experience. As recovered alcoholics, I'm not sure it makes much difference how I view that particular phenomenon.

But to the newcomer, who has not yet been relieved of the alcoholic obsession, it makes a world of difference. The sum total experience laid out in the BB, and in my own life, is that choosing not to drink is absolutely futile and doomed to failure. It's acceptance of that concept that is the heart of Step 1 which funnels me into Step 2.

20 people walk into AA. 10 of them are alcoholics as described in the BB (lost the power of choice in drink). 10 of them qualify as 'hard drinkers' and can stop if they have a strong enough reason to stop. Half of the alcoholic group take the 12 Steps and recover. The other group has no motivation to take the 12 Steps, because they have nothing to recover from. They can choose not to drink. At the end of the day, there are 5 recovered alcoholics and 10 people who choose not to drink. The 5 alcoholics who didn't find a spiritual solution are long since gone.

But when they return, they find 10 people talking about how they chose not to drink and it worked for them. And they find these 5 guys talking about a spiritual experience as being the only hope for them. And those 5, left over alcoholics try once again to choose not drink and fail miserably once again at that, listening all the while to the message in the room about choosing not to drink.

At least, that's what I see in a lot of AA.

RobbyRobot

Yup. All that.

The Big Book looks a whole lot clearer and understandable now then it did at my last detox

And the simplicity of the writings in the book are absolutely composed for the benefit of the active drinking alcoholic primarily to stop drinking and then follow through with keeping sober and living a spiritual life going forward.

The Big Book and program came after sobriety was already being enjoyed by the contibutors to the book and program, and not before. They already had what for them was not already written. Damn straight the book is for the still out there alcoholic!

RobbyRobot

A spiritual solution requires a direct intervention of an HP or God, and that intervention must also be "welcomed" [for lack of a better word] by the member experiencing the spiritual awakening. Denial will only bring no joy. Without the spiritual intervention there can be no spiritual recovery. There is something not right in your suggesting that a spiritual recovery in AA actually has some linked dependence on what non-alcoholics may say or do or lack thereof.

Spirituality is a force onto itself, imo. I simply do not believe that any person with an open mind and and open heart is *ever* denied at the GateWay and then additionally misled again and again. Spirituality is a choice and never works for the good when forced upon whomever, or even when sold as a better way to live, and I speak from experience.

So, what I'm implying is that those who don't get recovered in AA are not open to being recovered in AA and so of course they move on. If they come back and do the same thing again, so be it.

Ya can't make a horse drink water.

Tommyh

I have never heard much of that stuff written in the article in a meeting,but it sure flows around the internet.

The big book was written for the newcomers,old timers and all in between.
Today,I have a mental defense against that first drink,where before I had none.
Living steps 10-12 best I can,going to meetings,helping others in my daily life are a few things that gives it to me.It`s called sanity in the big book.The problem has been removed and something better has been given.As long as I focus on the better good,which is described on pages 84-88,It`s good and simple

RobbyRobot

Yup. Same here. Its my choice if I drink or dont drink. Before sobriety I always chose to drink alcohol, even when I didn't choose to drink I of course drank anyways; any chronic alcoholic will understand that "no" means "yes" when your drinking. That particular problem around that always-yes-choice is now gone because my alcoholism is arrested. My power of choice is restored simply because my alcoholic mind is not calling the shots anymore, pun intended

I'm now free to stay sober, as I so choose, and I'm also free to royally frigg it all up again too. That is the whole deal -- to be free enough to actually CHOOSE not to drink. Awesome.

So I've been enjoying my choices now for many years -- and I'm not alone. I see my brothers and sisters here there, and everywhere living the same freedom from alcoholism that I live!

Good stuff, Tommy.

TheJungianThing

I understand the spirit behind the "clarification" for lack of a better word.

When slogans and sayings REPLACE the text in the book it can become problematic, especially for alcoholics of the type described in the text.

Some slogans, such as "Don't drink, go to meetings", saved my life and because I was at a MEETING, and "Didn't Drink", I was able to hear "the message", hook up with a guy to show me the way for Steps 4-5, and move on.

But meetings alone wouldn't suffice for me, he made that clear, I heard him loud and clear. Especially a few years down the road when I was "resting on my laurels" and merely attending meetings. Having nothing FRESH and CURRENT to offer, I remained silent or regurgitated the samel old - "If you want to stop, just come back and follow directions". Then Joe shared too long, that broad really needs to put some other clothes on because I'm distracted by her "spirit" :rotfxko and can't help looking. Then a resentment crops up, then the meetings stop.

So now, I'm without Step 10 and 11 and NOT going to meetings.

Made for a very precarious situation for me at 4 years sober.

Had I drank, one could say "I chose to drink", in that I chose to stop doing what was necessary to maintain spiritual fitness. But the book says it, "insanity returns and we drink again". Back to that place where I can't provide a mental defense.

DayTrader

That's really what I was driving at with the original post.

Tommy....... you've got some good meetings that you've found. Where I live, at 99% of the meetings you'll hear anywhere from 2 - 5 of those things come out as being "the way to stay sober" from the ppl around the table.


I agree.... they were a good "introduction" to the work but, as you said above, they're not a replacement for it.

TheJungianThing

I think anything that keeps awareness up is a good thing. Sometimes a slap across the cheek wakes me up better than a soft suggestion.

I don't think I'm unique in that.