What recovery isn't
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
What recovery isn't
"The way to find the missing something is to find out where it's not!"
--The Cat in the Hat
So, we talk a lot about what recovery is, but what ISN'T recovery? What are some of the things that people think are recovery but aren't. So-- what is recovery NOT?
I am thinking:
Recovery ISN'T 'getting religion'
Recovery ISN'T switching to a less harmful drug
Recovery ISN'T simply abstaining from drugs or alcohol
etc
What else?
--The Cat in the Hat
So, we talk a lot about what recovery is, but what ISN'T recovery? What are some of the things that people think are recovery but aren't. So-- what is recovery NOT?
I am thinking:
Recovery ISN'T 'getting religion'
Recovery ISN'T switching to a less harmful drug
Recovery ISN'T simply abstaining from drugs or alcohol
etc
What else?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
What recovery isn't.
1. Telling people you are a ,'reformed alcoholic' but now you can ,'control' your drinking
2. Telling people how proud everybody is of you because you've given up drinking for the sake of......grandchild/children/ spouse etc., etc.
3. Failing to enlarge or attempting to, both your spirituality and conscious contact with the god of your understanding.
4. Failing to recognise and accept that you are powerless over people, places and institutions, you can niether make anyone like you, let alone love you.
5. Recovery isn't allowing ,'self will' not only back in but to dominate your life.
2. Telling people how proud everybody is of you because you've given up drinking for the sake of......grandchild/children/ spouse etc., etc.
3. Failing to enlarge or attempting to, both your spirituality and conscious contact with the god of your understanding.
4. Failing to recognise and accept that you are powerless over people, places and institutions, you can niether make anyone like you, let alone love you.
5. Recovery isn't allowing ,'self will' not only back in but to dominate your life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Heywood,Gtr.Manchester
Posts: 242
It's alright for me...
What recovery isn't ....
Being overheard at an AA meeting to say,"Well, it's alright for me, I'm a Catholic and Jesus changed water into wine, so I'm covered both ways".
Being overheard at an AA meeting to say,"Well, it's alright for me, I'm a Catholic and Jesus changed water into wine, so I'm covered both ways".
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
What recovery isn't
Recovery isn't thinking you have the answers, or your program is the only way. Recovery isn't telling people what to do, it's their journey. Recovery isn't an excuse to act like an a**. Recovery isn't thinking everyone owes you something, or that you should be treated like royality, no parades darn it. Recovery isn't a tool to be used to con or hurt people, or to even try to get out of speeding tickets lol. 
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by dratsab 
Recovery isn't finding an answer to some profound question that will solve all (or any) of your problems.
No, it will not get your job back, spouse back or bank account back. It can, believe it or not, get you the peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose that makes life fulfilling with, or without, material stuff.
Using recovery for "not-drinking" is like using a Peterbilt truck to deliver pizza. It gets the job done, but it is a tremendous waste of potential.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,984
Recovery isn't defined by a single system, method or philosophy.
Recovery isn't a competition between different modalities.
Recovery isn't a game of who's right or who's wrong.
Recovery isn't a competition between different modalities.
Recovery isn't a game of who's right or who's wrong.
?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 53
I agree with you. There is so much I have learned in recovery that I've been able to apply to other aspects of my life. And I do feel like I am feeling much more fulfilled. (Your Peterbilt analogy is great in describing that).
But, what I was trying to say is that there is no silver bullet (in my opinion at least) in recovery. I see recovery as requiring a set of tools that we need to apply to various situations in the best way we can. And I don't think there is one full proof way of applying these tools to get us by.
Then again, there are those who feel that resting their fate in God is the solution to achieving sobriety. That doesn't work for someone like me who is at best a Diest (and views God as a watchmaker). And I can't put my fate into a group of people, or to a doorknob. So, I don't find that as a fool-proof solution to achieving sobriety (and I don't discredit that it has helped others).
But, what I was trying to say is that there is no silver bullet (in my opinion at least) in recovery. I see recovery as requiring a set of tools that we need to apply to various situations in the best way we can. And I don't think there is one full proof way of applying these tools to get us by.
Then again, there are those who feel that resting their fate in God is the solution to achieving sobriety. That doesn't work for someone like me who is at best a Diest (and views God as a watchmaker). And I can't put my fate into a group of people, or to a doorknob. So, I don't find that as a fool-proof solution to achieving sobriety (and I don't discredit that it has helped others).
Originally Posted by Boleo
I beg to differ. Indeed, most people do use recovery as an "End of Drinking Program". However, for those of use who have learned to use spiritual principles, it is an end of suffering program as well.
No, it will not get your job back, spouse back or bank account back. It can, believe it or not, get you the peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose that makes life fulfilling with, or without, material stuff.
Using recovery for "not-drinking" is like using a Peterbilt truck to deliver pizza. It gets the job done, but it is a tremendous waste of potential.
No, it will not get your job back, spouse back or bank account back. It can, believe it or not, get you the peace of mind, joy and sense of purpose that makes life fulfilling with, or without, material stuff.
Using recovery for "not-drinking" is like using a Peterbilt truck to deliver pizza. It gets the job done, but it is a tremendous waste of potential.
Recovery can not take away your problems, but it can help you deal with them.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
I like this - great idea!
Recovery isn't for those who want it, or those who really need it, it's for those who work for it.
Recovery isn't holding on to who you were, it's letting go and becoming a new person.
Recovery isn't special for anyone of us. It's available to us all.
Recovery isn't expecting anyone to treat us differently, just b/c we got sober.
Recovery isn't for those who want it, or those who really need it, it's for those who work for it.
Recovery isn't holding on to who you were, it's letting go and becoming a new person.
Recovery isn't special for anyone of us. It's available to us all.
Recovery isn't expecting anyone to treat us differently, just b/c we got sober.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Originally Posted by Zencat
Recovery isn't defined by a single system, method or philosophy.
Recovery isn't a competition between different modalities.
Recovery isn't a game of who's right or who's wrong.
Recovery isn't a competition between different modalities.
Recovery isn't a game of who's right or who's wrong.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by dratsab
Then again, there are those who feel that resting their fate in God is the solution to achieving sobriety. That doesn't work for someone like me who is at best a Diest (and views God as a watchmaker). And I can't put my fate into a group of people, or to a doorknob.
"In this life pain is mandatory but suffering is optional".
If you look at ALL of the promises described in the Big Book of AA - about a hundred of them are about an end of suffering.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 53
I didn't say that I don't believe in a Diety (see: the watchmaker). I just don't think that turning my life over to anything outside of myself is going to work for me in the long run.
I actually do study Buddhism. It's been a really big help in my recovery. However, it's still not something I can turn my life over to as a solution. I know it may sound like I'm stubborn... but it's the truth.
I view Buddhism as a way of learning how to have a good life without having to rely on anything outside of yourself. Also, the Buddha was just a man (not a profit or a saint), and his teachings don't really lend themselves to the idea of turning your will and lives over to him, anyone, or anything as a means of salvation. In fact, the story of the Buddha's death says that his last words were... "All things are impermanent. Work out your own salvation with diligence". Basically... we have to figure this one out on our own.
Also, I want to make it clear that I'm not anti-AA. It's just not a major component in my recovery. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it being a major component of anyone else's recovery. The important thing is that we work on our recovery and maintain sobriety. As long as we don't do ourselves or other harm, it's not important how we achieve that.
for getting so off topic
I actually do study Buddhism. It's been a really big help in my recovery. However, it's still not something I can turn my life over to as a solution. I know it may sound like I'm stubborn... but it's the truth.
I view Buddhism as a way of learning how to have a good life without having to rely on anything outside of yourself. Also, the Buddha was just a man (not a profit or a saint), and his teachings don't really lend themselves to the idea of turning your will and lives over to him, anyone, or anything as a means of salvation. In fact, the story of the Buddha's death says that his last words were... "All things are impermanent. Work out your own salvation with diligence". Basically... we have to figure this one out on our own.
Also, I want to make it clear that I'm not anti-AA. It's just not a major component in my recovery. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it being a major component of anyone else's recovery. The important thing is that we work on our recovery and maintain sobriety. As long as we don't do ourselves or other harm, it's not important how we achieve that.
for getting so off topic
Originally Posted by Boleo
OK, you don't believe in a Deity. How about taking refuge in the Buddha? Buddhism is about finding an end of suffering (Nirodha).
"In this life pain is mandatory but suffering is optional".
If you look at ALL of the promises described in the Big Book of AA - about a hundred of them are about an end of suffering.
"In this life pain is mandatory but suffering is optional".
If you look at ALL of the promises described in the Big Book of AA - about a hundred of them are about an end of suffering.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Northfield MN
Posts: 12
dratsab - so much of what you say rings very, very true for me. I still struggle with all of it.
But some days it seems like that 'figure it out on your own' is a prison. A torture, really. What recovery gives me - in glimpses only - are moments where I am not trapped alone. Mostly when I see that I am nothing (which I think is what the buddha meant. The body is a vehicle to enlightenment. We're isolated, alienated human selves. All on our own, we've got to find meaning. It happens when I acknowledge that I don't matter, it doesn't matter, life is life is good.)
I wonder what you'd think of my daily reflection today?
But some days it seems like that 'figure it out on your own' is a prison. A torture, really. What recovery gives me - in glimpses only - are moments where I am not trapped alone. Mostly when I see that I am nothing (which I think is what the buddha meant. The body is a vehicle to enlightenment. We're isolated, alienated human selves. All on our own, we've got to find meaning. It happens when I acknowledge that I don't matter, it doesn't matter, life is life is good.)
I wonder what you'd think of my daily reflection today?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
Just speaking for myself of course, but I had tried to 'figure it out myself' so many times and failed every time. If you can figure it out yourself, that's great, really! For me though, there had to be something more. I still have only a vague idea of my higher power compared to many people, eve though I do follow a specific religion, I am often at odds trying to figure out what I truly believe. I do believe I am not the greatest power in existence-- I also believe (again, applying only to me, I can't speak for anyone else!) that *I* am *powerless* over my addiction. I knew that even before I ever heard of the twelve steps. I came to NA desperate, because I had done everything in my power to quit, and it didn't work. I currently have 101 days clean, and have not struggled at all this time around. I do attribute that to working the steps in NA. I tried it every other way-- medicine, religion, psychiatry, etc-- and nothing worked.
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 53
Originally Posted by Onewithwings
Just speaking for myself of course, but I had tried to 'figure it out myself' so many times and failed every time. If you can figure it out yourself, that's great, really! For me though, there had to be something more. I still have only a vague idea of my higher power compared to many people, eve though I do follow a specific religion, I am often at odds trying to figure out what I truly believe. I do believe I am not the greatest power in existence-- I also believe (again, applying only to me, I can't speak for anyone else!) that *I* am *powerless* over my addiction. I knew that even before I ever heard of the twelve steps. I came to NA desperate, because I had done everything in my power to quit, and it didn't work. I currently have 101 days clean, and have not struggled at all this time around. I do attribute that to working the steps in NA. I tried it every other way-- medicine, religion, psychiatry, etc-- and nothing worked.
I don't see it as a religious issue. I see it as a reliability issue. I definitely don't think that I'm the highest power out there.
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