Searching for faith
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: ont,canada
Posts: 30
Searching for faith
Hi my name is Tracey i have been in and out of recovery for months now.I always seemed to find a reason to drink again,sad little excuses that would make it okay.I've been to some meetings and was really getting things straight then my dad had a car accident just over a month ago, he blacked out and was very lucky he wasn't hurt badly.But now after tests the doctors say something irregular is showing in his brain and will need a cat scan to be sure of what it is.Needless to say my dad is preety scared and the rest of my family just don't know, you try not to think the worst but it is worriesome.I'm very close to my dad and this past month has really taken a toll, i know the drinking won't help but i'm afraid to see what feelings are there.Everyday i wake up thinking if i could get to a meeting and not drink, iosolation has become my friend last nite i found myself driving around so i wouldn't have to go home because my roomate was there.I just sat in my car and drank.I feel this emptiness and wonder if maybe i could find the faith to believe God just might lead me, if every i needed faith this is it because i just have no idea how to deal with any of this and it may get worse.I'm not really sure what i'm asking other than what gave you all faith and how did you let god in.(maybe this is a very dumb question but things are bad and getting worse and i just need alittle hope)
Tracey
Tracey
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Riverside, Ca.
Posts: 388
Tracey
I am sorry to hear about the situation your going through, I think you know that driking would only make it worse,
you asked a very good question about faith and letting god in,
I'm sure there are different ways to do this, but I can share what has worked for me.
when I got to A.A. I tired so hard to figure out what gods will was for me, Today i still wonder sometimes, I never know for sure, but I do know when I'm NOT doing gods will.
some of the things I do to let god in ( I never had before)
I pray a lot. and try to put others before myself.
The biggest thing for me to let him in, is to just quietly ask him to come into me, and Guide me through the day.
I am sorry to hear about the situation your going through, I think you know that driking would only make it worse,
you asked a very good question about faith and letting god in,
I'm sure there are different ways to do this, but I can share what has worked for me.
when I got to A.A. I tired so hard to figure out what gods will was for me, Today i still wonder sometimes, I never know for sure, but I do know when I'm NOT doing gods will.
some of the things I do to let god in ( I never had before)
I pray a lot. and try to put others before myself.
The biggest thing for me to let him in, is to just quietly ask him to come into me, and Guide me through the day.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 610
Tracey,
I'm sorry to hear about your dad and my prayers and hopes are that you'll all find comfort through this somehow.
Fears are strange things, they seem all-consuming and insurmountable, but just by talking about them to a trusted friend they lose power over me. My sponsor is a trusted friend who also has probably had the same fears. Can you find a sponsor?
Isolation keeps me miserable and that's what my disease wants me to be. Fears of what might happen in the future can be overwhelming too and that's another trick my mind can play on me.
Having faith for me is an action I take, I choose to let go of things out of my control and ask my hp to do the controlling for me. I admit that I can't do it my way because my way leads me to misery. I don't even need to know who I'm talking to, I just have to believe that it can happen and it always does.
Sometimes my act of faith is just sitting with the feelings and staying in the moment, knowing that I will be ok.
Amy
I'm sorry to hear about your dad and my prayers and hopes are that you'll all find comfort through this somehow.
Fears are strange things, they seem all-consuming and insurmountable, but just by talking about them to a trusted friend they lose power over me. My sponsor is a trusted friend who also has probably had the same fears. Can you find a sponsor?
Isolation keeps me miserable and that's what my disease wants me to be. Fears of what might happen in the future can be overwhelming too and that's another trick my mind can play on me.
Having faith for me is an action I take, I choose to let go of things out of my control and ask my hp to do the controlling for me. I admit that I can't do it my way because my way leads me to misery. I don't even need to know who I'm talking to, I just have to believe that it can happen and it always does.
Sometimes my act of faith is just sitting with the feelings and staying in the moment, knowing that I will be ok.
Amy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: California
Posts: 233
Hi Tracey, you just need to make a beginning. If alcohol has kicked your ass then make a start on this new sober life. Live life in small increments of time. like one day at a time. Catchy phrase, huh. Read the Bg Bk., go to meetings, tal to people afer the meeting, find someone you can trust and start working the steps. Anything I know about faith has come from doing those things. Jay and DB said it better than I could. And you have asked the great question or at least it brings to my mind the question is there really a God. Don't know. And I don't really care. My way of living got me in the mess I was in. The AA way of living has gotten me out. I talk to God as I would a friend or my brother and I derive comfort from doing that. It doesn't have to make sense to me anymore. It doesn't have to be logical. Ask God for help and then do the next right thing. One thing for sure, drinking is not the right thing to do and is surely NOT Gods will for me. Thats about all I know on the subject of faith. You take it easy and be good to yourself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Hi Tracey,
I believe faith is the belief in something there's no proof of.
When I was a little boy, I heard a story in my Sunday school class about a mustard seed. I was told that to make a beginning, all I needed was the amount of faith it would take to fill a mustard seed. In AA we hear that all we have to do is to "seek" God's will each day. Doesn't say anything about finding God's will!
Today, I believe that if I look hard enough and do what it takes the faith I need will be there to carry me through. There's nothing you can do about your Dad except to pray. What you can do is take care of yourself so that no matter what happens, you'll be able to handle it. You said you were close to you Dad!! What do you think your Dad would want for you? Would he want you out getting drunk so you don't have to feel love and pain over what he's going through, or would he want you sober and straight so you can carry on no matter what? Speaking from my viewpoint, I can say this. When I was drinking, I did a lot of things concerning my kids that I wish I hadn't done. I could have been a lot more loving and kind than I was. I know today that I love them and they know I love them. If I did nothing else right, I prepared them to carry on when I'm gone because if things fall in their right place, I'll go before they do. I know they'll be ok. By the way, my youngest son has 14 years sober.
I believe faith is the belief in something there's no proof of.
When I was a little boy, I heard a story in my Sunday school class about a mustard seed. I was told that to make a beginning, all I needed was the amount of faith it would take to fill a mustard seed. In AA we hear that all we have to do is to "seek" God's will each day. Doesn't say anything about finding God's will!
Today, I believe that if I look hard enough and do what it takes the faith I need will be there to carry me through. There's nothing you can do about your Dad except to pray. What you can do is take care of yourself so that no matter what happens, you'll be able to handle it. You said you were close to you Dad!! What do you think your Dad would want for you? Would he want you out getting drunk so you don't have to feel love and pain over what he's going through, or would he want you sober and straight so you can carry on no matter what? Speaking from my viewpoint, I can say this. When I was drinking, I did a lot of things concerning my kids that I wish I hadn't done. I could have been a lot more loving and kind than I was. I know today that I love them and they know I love them. If I did nothing else right, I prepared them to carry on when I'm gone because if things fall in their right place, I'll go before they do. I know they'll be ok. By the way, my youngest son has 14 years sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: ont,canada
Posts: 30
Thanks for the replies, it has helped.I guess i have just been feeling maybe if i can believe and let god in , he will help guidee me to the rest.(meetings and talking to people)I have only succeeded in isloating myself and kept drinking, i'm lonely and empty but can't seem to talk to anyone around me right now.Maybe then God is my begginning, other times i never looked for the belief and faith first but i think thats all i can do for now.I will try to pray to him because i need a friend i can share with and a friend who may bring me strength(could that be god?)i hope it is because i'm getting nowhere on my own.
Thanks again tracey
Thanks again tracey
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi Tracey,
My prayers are with you and your father. Be thankful he's still with you. To let God in you simply get on your knees and pray. Talk to him honestly, ask him for his help, ask him to show you his will, ask him to carry you through this difficult time. He will hear you!
My prayers are with you and your father. Be thankful he's still with you. To let God in you simply get on your knees and pray. Talk to him honestly, ask him for his help, ask him to show you his will, ask him to carry you through this difficult time. He will hear you!
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