Hi Tracey,
I believe faith is the belief in something there's no proof of.
When I was a little boy, I heard a story in my Sunday school class about a mustard seed. I was told that to make a beginning, all I needed was the amount of faith it would take to fill a mustard seed. In AA we hear that all we have to do is to "seek" God's will each day. Doesn't say anything about finding God's will!
Today, I believe that if I look hard enough and do what it takes the faith I need will be there to carry me through. There's nothing you can do about your Dad except to pray. What you can do is take care of yourself so that no matter what happens, you'll be able to handle it. You said you were close to you Dad!! What do you think your Dad would want for you? Would he want you out getting drunk so you don't have to feel love and pain over what he's going through, or would he want you sober and straight so you can carry on no matter what? Speaking from my viewpoint, I can say this. When I was drinking, I did a lot of things concerning my kids that I wish I hadn't done. I could have been a lot more loving and kind than I was. I know today that I love them and they know I love them. If I did nothing else right, I prepared them to carry on when I'm gone because if things fall in their right place, I'll go before they do. I know they'll be ok. By the way, my youngest son has 14 years sober.
