Thanks for the replies, it has helped.I guess i have just been feeling maybe if i can believe and let god in , he will help guidee me to the rest.(meetings and talking to people)I have only succeeded in isloating myself and kept drinking, i'm lonely and empty but can't seem to talk to anyone around me right now.Maybe then God is my begginning, other times i never looked for the belief and faith first but i think thats all i can do for now.I will try to pray to him because i need a friend i can share with and a friend who may bring me strength(could that be god?)i hope it is because i'm getting nowhere on my own.
Thanks again tracey