wilbsoon

So 68 days clean and loving life when I have an accident that pops my shoulder out. I was in a lot of pain, more than I've had before, enough so I threw up and almost passed out (shock I think). The nurse tried to get it in without giving me anything, and I tried to relax, then she put a canula in my arm. I pleaded to be given the happy gas instead like last time many many years ago as a teenager, but the doctor said it was way too tight and injected morphine. His reaction was worse than mine... Didn't do s*&t to me. So more and more (lets say lots) till I relaxed and it still took four of them to get the arm back in the socket. Then he said how amazed he was I was still sitting there awake talking coherently when I should be asleep. Well I know why I was doing it... all those dormant receptors Bvaljalo talks about sucking it all up! He wanted to give me a script for codeine which I refused. He put it in my paperwork anyway.

So apart from scaring the s#%t out of me yesterday, where does that leave me? I gave the script straight to my wife and the only thing Ive taken is Ibuprofen (recommended dose) for pain and inflamation. Mind you it is acheing real bad and I was told it will for a few days but thats the bed i've made.

I was totally scared I would be in withdrawel again today but so far after waking up I feel normal. I am scared that by tonight it will be back after all those receptors were reawakened. I do remember reading some of Bvaljalo's info that it takes three days of using again before your back to where you started ( I hope my memory is right). And Windy had an operation and was okay but that was way further along in recovery than me. I do know one thing, the fact the morphine didn't knock me cold and that the rest of the day I had so much energy instead of being tired means I am still very much in the beginning of recovery and any attempt of my brain to say otherwise is a deception.

So what now? Well, I WILL get over this without any opiates. But it did freak me out and I can't help think I have somehow cheated. And that's because some little part of my brain was happy for the rest of the day having morphine in me. And I hate that part the most!

One more thing, the question I don't want to ask, does this mean I don't have 68 days up and I am back at one? (and I know the scientific technical answer)

Wilbsoon

tanyapmc

In my opinion you still have your clean time. Sometimes there are medical reasons that we have to take narcotics. You did the right thing by not wanting to take them. I have been clean and sober 17 months and have had two surgeries during this time. I took the meds at the hospital for the first surgery and came home without any oral meds. The second surgery was bigger and I had to take pain meds at home. It was very difficult but I did not abuse them so I am still clean and sober.

I hope you feel better soon. You can get through this without relapsing.

windysan

I had an angiogram a couple years ago and got a poke of an opiate and a benzo. I also did a script of tramadol for some severe pain i had. I didn't want any dope after any of that. Of course you didn't cheat. I'm sure some nut will come along and say you aren't "clean" or whatever but tell em to kiss yer buttocks. That's what I do.

ccgirl2

Nope, you're still clean. JMO

PeachyClean

Of course you are still clean! Keep up the good work. Sometimes "medication" is necessary to our wellbeing. No harm no fool.

Hope you feel better soon.

ksos

Just stopping by and if anyone has their clean time intact, it is you, my friend. And, if kissing anyone's arse is distasteful, I can tell ya some stories...but I won't. Just keep up your 68 and counting days, one day at a time....Hope that shoulder stays put, too!

Ksos

Timebuster

You didn’t loss your clean time.

Read, In Times of Illness

This is NA Fellowship-approved literature.

This will help with your question.

Keep up the good work.

Ivan

I'm sure some nut will come along…windysan, you’re a regular riot. lol :rotfxko

This the first time I use a smily, how's it look?

sailorjohn

No, I don't think so. Back in December I had a cracked root canal, it got infected and the whole side of my face swelled up, the pain was terrific. Naturally the dentist decided to do a lot of other work at the same time as the extraction, when the novocaine wore off the pain was excruciating, basically my entire upper and lower sets. I took the tylenol3's they prescribed, 1, the recommended dosage. Ended up taking another day 4 after the dental work when the pain came back almost as bad as day 1, ignored the pain on day 5. Have never had that painful an orthodontic experience in my life, have to ask about it when I go back. A little background, have had my own substance abuse issues, including a stint as a heroin addict in my early 20's, I loved that stuff.

I still maintain the same sobriety date. The only thing that threw me, noticed I was groggy the following morning, when I was using/drinking those thoughts never occurred to me unless I was nursing a big hangover.

wilbsoon

Thanks guys and gals for the encouragement. My wife says I'm still clean but why doesn't it feel like it? Well, actually it does, no withdrawels like I feared and I feel normal. However my wife spoke to my counsellor who said I was crazy not to take pain medication in the circumstances but I feel I can't and won't besides the normal non opiate stuff. So now I'm awake while the wife sleeps cause it hurst like hell. What a whinger I am, but I would take this over WDs anyday.

I see my surgeon (who fixed it last time) in a few days. According to the Dr at the ER I have screwed up some tendons and the joint (It was out for over an hour before I got to the ER) but he aint no expert. There is a fair bit of swelling for just a dislocation and hope I don't need surgery (and more pain meds), but I guess I will cross that bridge when and if I get to it. Things such as this are teaching me to deal with life, and pain, without taking a pill.

And thanks Windy, you are such a crackup, the laughing made it hurt more but it was worth it...

Thanks again for all your encouragement. I hope in this experience I can help someone out in the future like you guys do me.

windysan

People get carried away with the meaning of "clean". Silliness

2ala2

Of course you're clean as long as they are prescribed drugs deemed necessary by a doctor.
Like Ivan said, it's clear in in IP number 26 of NA. Please read it.
Congrats on the 86 days!

kj0975

isnt it 68 days? I agree you didnt loose your clean time. Proud of you for not filling that RX. Hope your shoulder feels better soon.

Latte

I've had opiates a few times since getting clean. I've always taken then exactly as prescribed (my next door neighbor keeps them for me..she is a retired nurse) and given what I didn't need back to the pharmacy so my doctor can see (military pharmacy) that I didn't abuse them.

I consider myself clean for a little over a year. I cannot take NSAIDS (Asprin, Motrin, Aleve) or Tramadol so there are just going to be those times.

I hope you heal quickly.

Oh, and I've kept in close contact with my sponsor and my home group (especially close when I've had to take medication) and that seems to really help with those worries that you are talking about, ie receptors etc. I also have my addictionologist on speed dial and he is more than happy to talk me through any issues I have regarding how my brain is reacting to any of those medications. I am open and honest with every physician who treats me and that has gone a long way in my treatment.

Congrats on your clean time. Keep up the great work.