asimplecanvas

hey guys, i just found this site today and i joined. this seems to be a great place for me. i have been wondering about certain things, and would like some help i guess....ok, here's my story in short. i am 19 yrs old. when i was 17 i began using drugs, just whatever i could get, really big into pills. I ended up OverDosing and started living at my sisters. i went a month without using, then smoked some pot and got in a lot of trouble, ended up in rehab. went through rehab, but wasnt ready to stop using, and got in trouble as soon as i got out. I was sent to live with my brother 500 miles a way. that is when i began to get serious about staying clean.after a few months i moved back. i remained clean for 9 months. but as soon as i wasnt being drug tested, i returned to drug use for another year. i have recently decided i really want to stop and it feels like its my own decision. however, i cannot sleep and feel like i am going crazy, i fear that the drugs damaged my brain or something, but i can still function perfectly normal, im a college student ( a junior) making B's and A's. I was wondering if it is common after being sober for around 4-5 months to experience anxiety, like anxiety attacks, insomnia, and regret. i think the anxiety comes from the regret, i cant seem to shake it, i cant let it go. can someone help me out here? i feel like i dont know who i am anymore. im not tempted to go back to drugs though, i just dont know whats next. is this it? but i am glad i am sober now, and am still alive, thanks for listening!!! i greatly appreciate it!

windysan

see a doctor. there is medicine for anxiety......just be careful with the medicine. i doubt you did brain damage....i thought that too and look at me !

ccgirl2

Welcome. It's kinda quiet around here on weekends so hang on.


There is a thing called PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) and if memory serves me, the timing sounds about right for you. It involves a lot of anxiety. Try googling it because I can't remember a lot of the symptoms. I would also recommend seeing your doctor about it.

2ala2

Hello and welcome,
I think that you can find answers to all your questions at an NA meeting.
You need not walk alone. All you have to do is ask for help face to face.
Good luck!

Sugah

I'd find some meetings if I were in your shoes - and knew then what I know now. The only way I was able to deal with the regrets, the resentments, the fears and the shame I carried around was to work steps with a sponsor. It wasn't something I thought I was ready to do at 19 (when I went into my first treatment), but I didn't really know what it was all about then. Fifteen years later, I was ready to do anything that was suggested to me.

Hope you find some peace.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

SailorKaren

Hey, welcome to SR! Some more folks will be along to help you I'm sure. I don't have a substance abuse history, so I'm missing that perspective here, but I am dealing with a lot of anxiety. Have you checked out the Anxiety Disorder forum here on SR? Try reading through the permanent postings at the top of the forum page (we call them stickies), they have tons of helpful info.

19 years old and getting A's and B's -- way to go!!! I'm 53 and it brings back memories. You know, it's perfectly normal to have some anxiety float in and out of our life. Life can be challenging, and 21st century life is particularly complex. It's normal to feel multiple, even conflicting emotions all at once. We can feel happy, afraid, excited, anxious, sad, proud -- all jumbled and shifting. Our miraculous, highly evolved brains can hold all these together and keep them in healthy balance, all by itself. But when we override our natural mechanisms with substances or processes that force pleasurable feelings, we throw our brains out of kilter and plunge it into addiction. Then it becomes dependent upon this manual override, and will do anything to maintain it. When you finally stop exerting manual control of your emotions, your brain will begin to restore its automatic balancing function, and for a while, many of your feelings will be intense. Ride the wave, my friend! Your journey from 19 to 53 and beyond holds countless joys, failures, excitement, successes, sorrows, loves, and loves lost. Don't miss a second of it!

In my past psychotherapy sessions, I was encouraged to journal, or write down my thoughts and feelings. He explained that when we write, as opposed to speaking or thinking, we activate a separate area of our brain and enlist it in our healing process. So if you do nothing else, keep posting here at SR -- you will be helping yourself along just by writing. That's partly why I'm writing this post to you. Plus, your story will help someone else who comes along, AND you'll get some great support too.
Blessings,

sct

I went through the same thing-- hang in there, it does pass. Sharing with other folks about what's going on with you is a great way to get those feelings out of your head.

coming_clean

it goes away, it really does, but take your time!!

navysteve

First off, hopefully no one here will give you **** for using the word sober, they get kinda hung up on semantics around here.

Do you have a sponsor?

What fellowship are you attending???

You can get well, the steps will help, they may not make all those problesm go away but they will make them all solvable.

ARIES

Welcome..You'll find a lot of support here...Stefanie

Latte

I'm in the "see a Dr." camp.

I'm also a big fan of NA, although in my area there are more AA meetings so I attend those. The principals are the same and it works for me.

Keep on keepin' on. You CAN do this. In many areas there are meetings for younger people. You may feel more comfortable. I like the crotchety old people in my meetings, they are wise and kick my rear in gear when I need it.