AA the reason many people don't get help
Trying to do the right thing.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Welcome to SR, i also have issues with NA, its a great program butsome people take it way too far...as if a cold med is gona mess up clean time ..? n im more into buddhisum than anthing else....
so its confusing .....like has been said... welcome to SR..... who are
pretty ACE.
I dont feel Judged here, like some NA people are hostlie to newcomers.
Thank You SR........
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 153
I don't know anything about AA so I cannot coment or speculate about it. I haven't considered going to a meeting though and here's the reasons.
1. My impression of AA.... and I get this only from old black and white movies
is a smokey room filled with men drinking coffee and standing up talking
about not drinking, and the depths to which they have sunk.
This certainly does not appeal to me at all.
2. The stigma of AA. It is joked about in social conversations. Many people
consider it a joke. Of course these are non-drinkers.
3. The steps. Sounds like a huge amount of work. And from what I have
gleened.... very religion orientated. I am religious, but never openly
and certainly not in front of anyone.
Please understand that the above comments are made only out of ignorance. I don't really know. However... I like the annonimity of on-line. I am nearly at the point of wanting to join in. Just to see how it feels to me.
In the meantime....I am at 42 days. feeling good but alcohol is still in my thoughts.
1. My impression of AA.... and I get this only from old black and white movies
is a smokey room filled with men drinking coffee and standing up talking
about not drinking, and the depths to which they have sunk.
This certainly does not appeal to me at all.
2. The stigma of AA. It is joked about in social conversations. Many people
consider it a joke. Of course these are non-drinkers.
3. The steps. Sounds like a huge amount of work. And from what I have
gleened.... very religion orientated. I am religious, but never openly
and certainly not in front of anyone.
Please understand that the above comments are made only out of ignorance. I don't really know. However... I like the annonimity of on-line. I am nearly at the point of wanting to join in. Just to see how it feels to me.
In the meantime....I am at 42 days. feeling good but alcohol is still in my thoughts.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Sharing My Esh With You
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
Thanks widespreadpanic for sharing.
I entered recovery in the back of a police car Aug.10'90. It was Aug.11'90 that was my full sober day without alcohol in my system and chose as my sobriety date.
When alcohol stopped working for me and with so many failed attempts to stop on my own, my family stepped in and did for me what i couldnt do for myself. To get me the help necessary to stop drinking.
After entering rehab where i spent 28 day, i recieved the tools provided along with SUGGESTIONS to help me and guide me to learn to live a better life one day at a time whithout alcohol.
You know what i like most about this recovery program is? Is not having anyone TELL ME WHAT TO DO. If u begin to do that to me then i will put up a strong defense and shun everyone out of my life. I can't stand having people tell me what to do.
Now, if u came to me and showed me an easier softer way to stay sober then i will follow you. And that is what my sponsor and others did with me till i was strong enough to stand on my own and carry the message of hope to stay sober to others.
When i was in rehab those 28 days i recall sitting in group everyday listening to alot of stuff i could not comprehend at the time. The fog in my mind was so thick that nothing could get thru. However i did try to listen as those shared their experiences strengths and hopes with me on how this recovery program works.
They shared how the 12 STEPS would guide me but taking each step one at a time. Beginning with STEP 1. ADMITTING I WAS POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL AND MY LIFE HAD BECOME UNMANAGABLE. I sat on that step for a good while till i believed it. I knew i was powerless over alcohol because my life had become so crazy to me. Everytime i drank i got more into trouble. It consummed every ounce of my being, thoughts, actions, behavior.
It was when i had a bad accident back in Feb 90 that i quickly spiralled out of control. First the accident that led me to the hospital for 10 day after hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the ground. They had to remove my spleen because it was punctured by many broken ribs and would have bled to death. Then 3 months i healed nicely to only pick up a drink once again and try to end my miserable life. That was in Aug. It amazes me to see the progression of my disease in such a short amt. of time.
Nevertheless, alcohol finally stopped being my friend and turned on me.
Sitting in group i heard them say something about BELIEVING in Something other than myself to help me stay sober. No one was pushing religion on me. All they SUGGESTED was to pick something Stronger than i, like the group as a whole or a chair, or a sponsor, anything to help u stay sober. Only because i couldnt stay sober on my own. I had tried countless times with no success.
Anyway....
Im here today to share with you and others just like me my own EXPERIENCES, STRENGTHS AND HOPES on how ive stayed sober one day at a time for 15 yrs. I went to many many meetings thru out my recovery absorbing what this program is all about taking what i want and leaving the rest.
I was more of a listener in meetings, so i took what was so freely given or shared with me and now its time to give back to u and others.
Im here to HONESTLY share my own ESH with u. No froo froo or fluff. Just the simplist and plain message handed down to me. No one twisted my arm or made me do anything i didnt want to do. For me I had the DESIRE TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO STAY SOBER ONE DAY AT A TIME.
What is going to any lengths mean? For me it meant reading my Big Book and if i didnt understand it, i went to BB meetings and listened as others explained each word if i had to. Then the 12 Steps. Same thing, going to 12 Step meetings where they read them and share the meaning of it.
Service work.....My service work was doing something i so loved to do....i brought food, cookies things i baked to most all my meetings. I did this because i was the shy person that would hide out in meetings hoping not to get noticed or called on and would run back to my car so i wouldnt have to talk to anyone after the meeting. Doing this service work allowed others to stop me and say thanks and for them to get to know me and me them. It allowed me to get out of my selfish self and do something nice for someone else. and it worked...I kept coming back. And the more i went back, the more i felt calmer, opened my ears to the message and stayed sober one day at a time to get where i am today. A long road but then look how long i drank. From about 17 to 30 yrs of age.
Today just like at the beginning I realized that Alcohol was and is POISON to me. All i see on bottle and cans are skulls and cross bone with the BIGGEST WORD ON THEM.....POISON.....
The disease Alcohol is CUNNING BAFFLING AND OH SO POWERFUL. It doesnt matter how many one days at a time sober we have because it can strike at us out of no wheres when we least expect it to. When we r in a good mood or bad.
So to guard myself from this horror i practice the principles of recovery in my everyday affairs. I know i will never be cured of this disease so taking my daily dose of medicine which is AA meetings and sharing my ESH with u guys which helps me stay sober one day at a time.
Thanks for letting me share.
Thanks widespreadpanic for sharing.
I entered recovery in the back of a police car Aug.10'90. It was Aug.11'90 that was my full sober day without alcohol in my system and chose as my sobriety date.
When alcohol stopped working for me and with so many failed attempts to stop on my own, my family stepped in and did for me what i couldnt do for myself. To get me the help necessary to stop drinking.
After entering rehab where i spent 28 day, i recieved the tools provided along with SUGGESTIONS to help me and guide me to learn to live a better life one day at a time whithout alcohol.
You know what i like most about this recovery program is? Is not having anyone TELL ME WHAT TO DO. If u begin to do that to me then i will put up a strong defense and shun everyone out of my life. I can't stand having people tell me what to do.
Now, if u came to me and showed me an easier softer way to stay sober then i will follow you. And that is what my sponsor and others did with me till i was strong enough to stand on my own and carry the message of hope to stay sober to others.
When i was in rehab those 28 days i recall sitting in group everyday listening to alot of stuff i could not comprehend at the time. The fog in my mind was so thick that nothing could get thru. However i did try to listen as those shared their experiences strengths and hopes with me on how this recovery program works.
They shared how the 12 STEPS would guide me but taking each step one at a time. Beginning with STEP 1. ADMITTING I WAS POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL AND MY LIFE HAD BECOME UNMANAGABLE. I sat on that step for a good while till i believed it. I knew i was powerless over alcohol because my life had become so crazy to me. Everytime i drank i got more into trouble. It consummed every ounce of my being, thoughts, actions, behavior.
It was when i had a bad accident back in Feb 90 that i quickly spiralled out of control. First the accident that led me to the hospital for 10 day after hitting a concrete culvert sitting on top the ground. They had to remove my spleen because it was punctured by many broken ribs and would have bled to death. Then 3 months i healed nicely to only pick up a drink once again and try to end my miserable life. That was in Aug. It amazes me to see the progression of my disease in such a short amt. of time.
Nevertheless, alcohol finally stopped being my friend and turned on me.
Sitting in group i heard them say something about BELIEVING in Something other than myself to help me stay sober. No one was pushing religion on me. All they SUGGESTED was to pick something Stronger than i, like the group as a whole or a chair, or a sponsor, anything to help u stay sober. Only because i couldnt stay sober on my own. I had tried countless times with no success.
Anyway....
Im here today to share with you and others just like me my own EXPERIENCES, STRENGTHS AND HOPES on how ive stayed sober one day at a time for 15 yrs. I went to many many meetings thru out my recovery absorbing what this program is all about taking what i want and leaving the rest.
I was more of a listener in meetings, so i took what was so freely given or shared with me and now its time to give back to u and others.
Im here to HONESTLY share my own ESH with u. No froo froo or fluff. Just the simplist and plain message handed down to me. No one twisted my arm or made me do anything i didnt want to do. For me I had the DESIRE TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO STAY SOBER ONE DAY AT A TIME.
What is going to any lengths mean? For me it meant reading my Big Book and if i didnt understand it, i went to BB meetings and listened as others explained each word if i had to. Then the 12 Steps. Same thing, going to 12 Step meetings where they read them and share the meaning of it.
Service work.....My service work was doing something i so loved to do....i brought food, cookies things i baked to most all my meetings. I did this because i was the shy person that would hide out in meetings hoping not to get noticed or called on and would run back to my car so i wouldnt have to talk to anyone after the meeting. Doing this service work allowed others to stop me and say thanks and for them to get to know me and me them. It allowed me to get out of my selfish self and do something nice for someone else. and it worked...I kept coming back. And the more i went back, the more i felt calmer, opened my ears to the message and stayed sober one day at a time to get where i am today. A long road but then look how long i drank. From about 17 to 30 yrs of age.
Today just like at the beginning I realized that Alcohol was and is POISON to me. All i see on bottle and cans are skulls and cross bone with the BIGGEST WORD ON THEM.....POISON.....
The disease Alcohol is CUNNING BAFFLING AND OH SO POWERFUL. It doesnt matter how many one days at a time sober we have because it can strike at us out of no wheres when we least expect it to. When we r in a good mood or bad.
So to guard myself from this horror i practice the principles of recovery in my everyday affairs. I know i will never be cured of this disease so taking my daily dose of medicine which is AA meetings and sharing my ESH with u guys which helps me stay sober one day at a time.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London
Posts: 1,229
Widespread, the good news is you dont have to buy into that 'crap' anymore. There are valid and effective alternatives to turn your life around. Seriously. There is a link to them at the top of this forum.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by Doodlebug
I don't know anything about AA so I cannot coment or speculate about it. I haven't considered going to a meeting though and here's the reasons.
1. My impression of AA.... and I get this only from old black and white movies
is a smokey room filled with men drinking coffee and standing up talking
about not drinking, and the depths to which they have sunk.
This certainly does not appeal to me at all.
2. The stigma of AA. It is joked about in social conversations. Many people
consider it a joke. Of course these are non-drinkers.
3. The steps. Sounds like a huge amount of work. And from what I have
gleened.... very religion orientated. I am religious, but never openly
and certainly not in front of anyone.
Please understand that the above comments are made only out of ignorance. I don't really know. However... I like the annonimity of on-line. I am nearly at the point of wanting to join in. Just to see how it feels to me.
In the meantime....I am at 42 days. feeling good but alcohol is still in my thoughts.
1. My impression of AA.... and I get this only from old black and white movies
is a smokey room filled with men drinking coffee and standing up talking
about not drinking, and the depths to which they have sunk.
This certainly does not appeal to me at all.
2. The stigma of AA. It is joked about in social conversations. Many people
consider it a joke. Of course these are non-drinkers.
3. The steps. Sounds like a huge amount of work. And from what I have
gleened.... very religion orientated. I am religious, but never openly
and certainly not in front of anyone.
Please understand that the above comments are made only out of ignorance. I don't really know. However... I like the annonimity of on-line. I am nearly at the point of wanting to join in. Just to see how it feels to me.
In the meantime....I am at 42 days. feeling good but alcohol is still in my thoughts.
1. Sounds like some of the dark smelly bars I used to drink in. Filled with smoke and people sitting around bitching about the sad state of affairs they found themselves in. Oh yes, that good old bar smell. It was like they used the same mop to clean the bar as they used to mop up the urine and puke from the restrooms. I don't think I miss that!!
2. I wonder some times what the jokes were about me when I was drinking. I'm pretty sure people talked about the times I passed out on their carpet and wet my pants. Not to mention the time I was drunk and decided to do a striptease on a table. Somebody came up behind me and pulled my pants and everything else down to my ankles.
3. The work involved in doing the steps is nothing compared to the amount of work it took for me to drag my sorry butt out of bed, hung over, feeling like crap and knowing I had to go to work. Then trying to figure out who I p*ssed off the night before and how I was going to drink until payday and get the bills paid.
I guess it just boils down to how bad a person wants to get sober, and stop the insanity. As far as religion goes, if you equate God with religion, I guess you're right. The program does mention God a few times but no specific religion. I don't know about you but I used to talk to God a lot when I was sick and tired. I used to promise Him I would stop drinking if He just got me out of this one. I didn't keep those promises but He did. I still can't explain how I got the desire to quit drinking on March 1st, 1977. I know why I still have the desire though. It's because I worked the steps and continue to work them day to day and in doing so, I've been given a way of life that I wouldn't want to give up for anything, including that good old Kentucky "sippin" whiskey.
Why don't you give AA a try Doodles. At least you'd have the experience and who knows, you may like it.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Originally Posted by WidespreadPanic
worst part is i like scotch
If religion is a problem for you in seeking sobriety, then I'd suggest looking into the alternatives to AA that are specifically secular--that is, they don't consider religious or spiritual beliefs to be a necessary (neither relevant or irrelevant) part of your recovery. Those are SMART Recovery, SOS, and LifeRing. There's nothing in those programs about spiritual change being necessary for recovery. You will find a lot of atheists, agnostics, and non-religious folks as well as religious ones.
If your problem is with the predominantly Christian membership of AA in your region, perhaps you could talk to your spiritual advisor/counselor and see what he suggests in terms of pursuing recovery through your own religion. People who are religious (I'm not) often turn to their faith for help with life's difficulties.
Lots of Christians are unhappy with AA, by the way, as it doesn't specify Jesus as the foundation for recovery. I guess they think it's too wishy-washy or something.
I disagree with the statement "AA the reason many people don't get help." I'd suggest that the problem is that many people don't look for alternatives, or don't know they exist, or don't know that they can quit without any 'program' at all. Perhaps as an alternative to a recovery group, you'd find it helpful to go see a counselor with expertise in substance abuse problems. REBT, CBT, and DBT principles are widely used to address alcohol and drug problems.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 58
Widespread, you've received a lot of great info from folks...I think that every AA alternative has been listed here. No method has 100% success. The decision to drink or not drink lies with you. I have heard a lot of good things about Smart recovery and Rational Recovery worked great for me.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Don S
I believe in Kentucky that would be blasphemy.
Originally Posted by Don S
Lots of Christians are unhappy with AA, by the way, as it doesn't specify Jesus as the foundation for recovery. I guess they think it's too wishy-washy or something.
If someone comes up with a program...Stand on your head 3 minutes per hour and it works...It would be acceptable because what works is good.
As a Christian, I feel and have experienced that what worked for me is the best ever of all.
As for recovery...to each his own...what works is what is good.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by Music
The nice thing about AA is that you don't have to change religions in order to belong. A person just has to get rid of that closed minded idea that my religion is right and everyone else's is wrong attitude.
doing nothing
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: socal
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by WidespreadPanic
I think that sums it up for many people. I don't want anything to do with that crap, but I want help. Please don't chastise me but I don't agree with any of their beliefs.
2.) I am not personally interested in AA, it just doesn't fit me and my beliefs.
3.) Good thing I was wrong about #1
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Rainsville, Alabama
Posts: 189
Widespread Panic... That would have been a great name for me when I first got to recovery b/c thats how my insides felt... I can identify with your feelings about what a lot of people call "the God thing" My story.. I had been the discarded child of two alcoholic/addict parents. Ended up in the foster care system, sexually abused, myself and my younger brother I watched my younger brother get burned badly while I couldn't get anyone to help him b/c the "adults" were all drunk. We were also physically abused, I don't remember being loved really by anyone we lived with, except for the short time we were allowed to live with my grand mother. The court system only cared about what looked good on paper, not what was best for us.. we were repeatedly raped, I ended up running away living on the streets. I married a man when I was 15. He beat me. Tied me up, allowed 5 of his friends to rape me to trade me for drugs. I stayed in this marriage for 10 yrs b/c I had no way out. There is much more I will spare you the rest... My point is when I got to recovery and they told me about this God who loved me It really pissed me off. Maybe they had a God that loved them but I certanily didn't. If there had been a God who had loved me then He would have not allowed all those things to happen to me as a child. I was a innocent child who could not protect myself from all that abuse. There was no way I was going to believe that there was any God out there for me... These people were crazy!!! I ended up going to 3 yrs. of intensive therapy to deal with all my issues of abuse from my parents (who I wanted to murder) my 1st husband, and countless others. The reason I went into therapy was b/c I had 2 children that I truly loved and If I didn't get my problems of anger under control I was going to loose my kids.. I had promised them when they were born that they would NEVER be abused like I was. The only way I could keep that promise was to keep my kids... I got a lot more out of those 3 yrs. in therapy than I had planned. I now actually have a good relationship with both my parents. Now that is a miracle! But when I entered AA again I had to look at this program from a different view. God didn't make those people do those things to me, We all have freewill, Those men had freewill. A lot of kids who go through what I went through don't live.. I lived, I was no longer a victum.. I am a surviver... God helped me to live so that I can help others who have been through what I have. Then I had to address the issue of the Big Book.. I didn't like a lot of what it said.. ( I wanted to rewrite it )... Why did I think I was so much smarter than everyone else that had been there for years and years... I really had to look at that.. One of the biggest things AA has tought me is to be willing to look at myself... When I don't like something I need to ask myself why I don't like it, and if I need to work on something within me to help me be a healthier person. I didn't get to recovery a healthy person. If I had been Healthy I would not have needed recovery. If I was smarter than "them" I wouldn't need recovery... My first sponsor told me to take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth. The reason he told me that was b/c I could't hear anything that was being said b/c I was too full of anger and pain inside to listen... I know this is long and Im sorry for that.. AA is my program.. Dosn't mean it has to be yours... But unless you give 100% of yourself to whatever program you choose it will be very difficult. Usually if I do not like something it is b/c there is something wrong with me. That is just me...... Love to you Debs
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