earlybird

Dont beat yourself up. Sometimes taking a few steps back can be a springboard to taking giant steps forward. You know what to do. Its ok. As far as fessing up to it,...I dunno....thats your call. It might be in your best interests to not upset the gains you have made with your family. Your slip didnt cause great damage as far as legal trouble or DUI's or hurting others, so, ....Im not sure on how to handle that part of it. I dont want to tell you to lie, but, use your best judgement. Id weigh the pros and cons of fessing up,....if it does more damage than good then maybe you shouldnt. Then again, I may not be right on this one. Bottom line, though, dont let this GET to you,.....you had two years of good sober experience. Use it to continue on. Good luck. You were temporarily out,...but you arent down by any means!!

Just Randy

I think what Peter said is central to reason why we fall. In my own words (and experience) It all goes back to why we stopped boozing in the first place. Was your "bottom" the real deal? Did you hurt so bad as a result of your drinking that you had to quit at all costs? Of course the "hurt" scale varies from person to person. Yet in my 20+ years of continuous sobriety and the past 2+ years of on and off sobrietry, I've made three "rubber-and-road" observations.

Of those who fall (my observations from attending 100's and 100' of AA meetings):

1) The reason for quiting was not sufficient to inspire the person to stay quit

2) When someone with a long period of quality sobriety returns to drink, complacency is the root cause

3) In any circumstance when falling, our spiritual condition was lacking.

The main thing is however, like almost all posters have stated, is to pick yourself up again, dust yourself off, and hop right back in the saddle. And while you're getting your stuff back together, ask yourself about the 3 points above.

Relapse is never a happy time. I know the emotions from bitter experience. But it can be turned around into a positive time of re-evaluation -- for a better chance of full recovery next time around.

Twist

There are tens of times I have failed in my quit and at only a week, I'm hardly one to give advice. But, I'll echo what everyone else has said...don't use one slip as an excuse to go back to drinking full time! O.k., you stumbled. Learn from it and move on! You didn't drink for two years...you can totally do it.

brigid

I agree with Twist! You can totally do this! I slipped up after 8 months, then drank for about a year, it has been over 8 years now without a drink and I don't ever feel the urge to have a drink. It is ok, quitting alcohol is a biggy and it took me a few tries. YOU CAN DO THIS.

lots of love,
Brigid

Music

My bottom can be anything, anytime I want it to be. The amount of pain I endure is optional. I went through all kinds of feelings when I first sobered up. I was a grandiose drinker. I had to drink harder, longer and of larger quantity than anyone else and if I didn't, I'd try to do better next time. When I got to AA I was hurt, depressed, scared, beat down, dug up, and beat down again. You'd think that would be enough. But, I had the idea that I had to have a bigger and better bottom than those I heard about at meetings. I actually thought about going back out to improve my credentials. My sponsor drove the point home that it was quite possible that I could die in the process, and that it wasn't necessary just to prove a point. What point I would prove is still beyond me. That was just my mentality at the time. So, I made the decision that in this case, disgression was the better part of valor. Just Randy made good points. My spiritual condition has not always been tip top. My level of complacency has varied from time to time and I've on more than one occasion, questioned my own sincerety when I made the decision to stop drinking. But, somehow God has seen fit to put someone in my life, either a sponsor, my wife or a good friend who's in AA, who'll give me a good swift kick in the slats to remind me that pain is optional and all I have to do is get back on the path and do a little more trudging down that road of happy destiny.

mikimc

[QUOTE=earlybird]Dont beat yourself up. Sometimes taking a few steps back can be a springboard to taking giant steps forward. You know what to do. Its ok. As far as fessing up to it,...I dunno....thats your call. It might be in your best interests to not upset the gains you have made with your family. Your slip didnt cause great damage as far as legal trouble or DUI's or hurting others, so, ....Im not sure on how to handle that part of it. I dont want to tell you to lie, but, use your best judgement. Id weigh the pros and cons of fessing up,....if it does more damage than good then maybe you shouldnt. Then again, I may not be right on this one. Bottom line, though, dont let this GET to you,.....you had two years of good sober experience. Use it to continue on. Good luck. You were temporarily out,...but you arent down by any means!![/QUOTE

Thank you!!!!!!!!!! a spring board!! I like that!! what doesnt kill you makes you stronger

mikimc

I never felt the urge. it was like an out of body experience, i just grabbed a drink and slugged it down. after i did it i didnt even feel bad. I was just so mad at the people around me who dont help me or give me credit. My husband gets drunk and say mean things all the time, I pushed it back, But just so many things happened at once, it was like HERE, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU SOB. THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED FOR TWO YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU HAPPY??????????????????
AND NOBODY KNOWS I HAD THIS SLIP EXCEPT FOR YOU GREAT PEOPLE THAT I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO.

Im greatful for you support

mikimc

I wish I had a husband who didnt drink. I did this two years with him coming home drunk, saying horrible things and I was convienced it would just make me stronger. Then just out of no where I grabbed a drink, I cant even remember, I just grabbed it and drank it and lost two years of incredible growth in my life. I feel like such a liar now. Like a fake.

Balls

I'm new here and only gave up alcohol recently, but it strikes me the "years since sober" thing is a bit harsh. Because it's bound to make you feel like a failure if you have a drink. And as we all know feelings is what makes us drink in the first place.

OK, I know the AA philosophy is not to touch 1 drink and this is probably a good thing for many people. But I myself can handle 1 drink as long as it's not very often and under strict rules (such as not when at home or alone). So I am looking forward to my anniversary of not being drunk.

If that means I don't fit in this forum as I am more of a sparodic alcoholic \ problem drinker then so be it.

But don't beat yourself up mikimc.

By the way, I'm on the Campral treatment - I just came to this forum to see if anyone has tried it.

Balls

I guess all I'm trying to say is, if for you it's complete abstinence, don't feel like you've wasted two years. Every single drink you didn't have in those two years was a good thing. Just pick yourself up and keep going.

Rusty Zipper

how can i expect to get better with the same old thinking that got me here in the first place... man, that was a big one to swallow at first... gulp............ agw & gol, xxoo, pattee

brigid

Hey mikimc, maybe that whole living with no credit from the one person who should give a dam is a bit hard. I can relate to that one! It is pretty hard for an active alcoholic to really support someone who doesn't drink, it is rather threatening to their own drinking. Sounds like your husband is being nasty to protect his habit. Doesn't make it very easy for you. Two years staying sober around that ... you deserve a medal! Stop beating yourself up!

My honest opinion is that you may need to talk about the way you feel about being in this environment, rather than worrying about loosing your sobriety, or loosing two years. Staying sober is a bit easier when there is support. You really haven't lost anything, this may just be the thing you needed to sort some underlying issues out so you can keep going the way you really want to.

I have read good things about alanon on here, that may be the support you need now, you are living with someone who has a problem from the sounds of it.

love Brigid

mikimc

Hello,
I was sober for two years and drank for about 3 weeks or so, Today I did not drink and do not want to again. Today is the first day that Ive really had the huge desire to get my life back. In those three weeks in didnt get drunk, i was just sneaking around grabbing a few drinks here and there. But i woke up this morning and looked at myself and i saw the signs of drinking on my face for the first time in two years. It was scary. Puffy face and eyes!! yuk! I dont want to look or feel that way again. So back to one day at a time. TODAY I DID NOT DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!! ance1

CarolD

That's great news..

Pick-a-name

(((mikimc)))....great news!!

brigid

Yay, go mikimc, that is great!!!!

mikimc

AGAIN, TODAY I DID NOT DRINK!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANKS EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!

mikimc

AGAIN, TODAY I DID NOT DRINK!!!!!!!!!!! YEA, THANKS

mikimc

YEA!!!!! TODAY I DID NOT DRINK!!!!!!!! THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT

Rusty Zipper

Mik, so nice to see your moveing foward in the battle... way to go...




in regards to balls. your brakeing mine! .... IMO ...... fit in here or not?, not for me to say, just a question... why the hell are you on a med to help stop you from the cravings of alcohol, and then delude yourself into saying its ok to have ONE drink? ... way to f'k'd up for my head!.................................



mik, all good wishes to you, and give only love ........................ your pal in recovery, Patrick