doorknob

I believe there is some ultimate reality that humans may never discover. I also believe that there are forces more powerful than humans (not difficult for me). I just don't believe that there are forces that monitor the lives of human beings and intervene when asked.

I'm still going to hit some meetings and try to make some sober friends in my own community. I really have no social outlets in my life at the present and I feel that I need some sense of belonging, and people to do things with. And if they are sober addicts who will be supportive of my efforts to stay sober, then that's even better.

DK

Music

That's it knob! That's all it takes! "Some force" that you can believe in is all it takes. I don't believe there are forces that monitor us either, I just believe that when I believe I can be helped by whatever force is out there, I'm strengthened by that belief and I gain confidence in the fact that I can achieve. I can't prove it, other than to say that since I started to believe in something higher than myself, I've had success.


I don't subscribe to everything I hear at meetings about how others stay sober. I attend meetings because I feel the strength and togetherness amongst the people there. Although we work our programs differently, there's still that common thread that ties us together and that's just to stay sober for today. It's kind of like "on the job" training. When I first went to AA I didn't know how to work a program, let alone the 12 steps. I was taken through the steps and then given my head, so to speak. I was shown the basics. Then as time passes, I've taken a little from here and there and come up with what works for me. The way I personally do things just might get someone else drunk but it works for me. That's what's important!! To be honest, when I hear people get on the soapbox and start "preaching" with a "religious" tone, I just tune it out. They're welcome to believe what the choose to believe and so am I. I try to practice love and tolerance.

Little Missy

((DK)) I'm so happy for you!! Keep up the good work. A guy at AA says he came, came to, then came to believe!!

doorknob

Well, I've been alcohol free for 8 days and pot free for 2. Out of frustration, I took a running start and smashed my head into a door. I have pain shooting down my spine.

doorknob

Thanks BigSis,

It is very beautiful here. I've loved the mountains since I was a kid. I lived in Bozeman, MT for 5 years. But rural living has it's drawbacks too.

DK

Orion

Drawbacks? I can't imagine any, except maybe the fact that it isn't easy to find a good job out there. Maybe I don't know, though, 'cause I've never lived outside of a city in my life.

I love going to the Leavenworth area. It's a great place to go to get away from things. It's also much sunnier than the west side of the mountains. I think you're lucky.

doorknob

Yeah, lack of good jobs is the major one. But also lack of diversity. You guys have 2 LifeRing meetings and 2 AgnosticAA meetings over on that side. Not sure about SMART. Give me a hollar if you ever come over this way.

DK

Orion

Thanks, I'll do so if I ever get time. Going to Leavenworth is kind of a tradition with my family. However, we've got one baby and another one due in three months, and I'm both working and finishing a degree. It's kind of rough. Maybe that's why the country looks so nice to me now. If I could just sit on a porch and watch the sun set over the hills without airplanes screeching overhead and trucks roaring by I'd feel like I was in heaven.

As for the diversity... well, we've got some kinds and you've got others. Our "wildlife" mainly consists of crows, pigeons, rodents and the occasional raccoon. Oh, we've got geese, too, but they've ceased to be wild and the city sentenced a number of them to death recently for loitering on beaches and leaving giant green turds. However, I do have to admit that if I was in that area I'd miss the sea.

Aa_vark

Hey Doorknob,

Good to see you back here!

Ummm, sorry to here about your run-in with that door.

The phillosophical 'ramifications' are baffeling, and solid matter is definately powerfull, dude.

Be well,

Aaron

doorknob

LOL! Thanks Aaron!

doorknob

Sounds similar to a good luck charm. As long as you believe in it, it seems to help. Like when a kid is given something that is supposed to have special powers. Then after they accomplish what they were trying, they are told that the item really has no powers whatsoever, and they really did it all by themselves.

doorknob

I'm having a really rough time. My neck and back hurt and I'm really depressed. I was close to caving in last night. I decided to go to sleep instead, hoping I would feel better in the morning, but I don't.

Music

Hey knob. When I was a kid, I used to carry a rabbits foot. Now I carry an AA medalion with the roman numeral XXIX on it. Lucky?? Hell, I don't know, but it seems to work. Like I heard said at a meeting one day. "I don't know if there is a God or Higher Power out there, but I'd rather believe and find out I was right, than not believe and find out I was wrong." Just hang in there my friend and keep wondering and asking questions. Better to keep seeking than to give up and quit.

doorknob

Even if it's a placebo effect, if it works, who cares? But you have to believe in it for that phenomenon to occur, and I just don't.

tryinagain

I would say that you are here at SR amongst friends sharing the same problems and battles with drugs and alcohol addictions. We win as a family, 24 hours at a time...keep up the good fight!

doorknob

Thanks Tryin,

I'm really having a rough time right now. I'm trying really hard to keep my hand off the **** it switch.

DK

doorknob

To make matters worse, my gf is going to leave me because I can't pry myself off of this website. She honestly would rather I drink and smoke pot.

2dayzmuse

I don't know what to tell you doorknob. You are frustrated, in pain, and feeling pressured from you gf. That is tough. Ah, h3ll with it. I guess I do have something to say. Don't use! It won't help matters. Maybe you can talk with your gf and try to get her to understand that you need to be with those who understand. Obviously, she does not if she would rather you use. Don't cave in...

Try for a moment to look at things from a different perspective. We only limit ourselves when we don't open our minds to different ways of thinking. What do you have to lose? I felt very awkward at first with the HP thing. I understand your hesitance. However, since that time I have become a believer.

doorknob

Thanks 2dayz.

tryinagain

I hear the struggle and know it well. I was really down with it being a holiday and the only family member that I have that will communicate with me or have anything to do with me is my wife. She said she would understand if I just said ******* it like every other time I felt this way. She also said that she hates to see me down and although she hates when I drink, she hates this more. So, I had every opportunity but I stayed on SR until an early meeting came around and went. I left refreshed and happy. Came home and can deal with things much easier sober than buzzed up. It is working, hang in there, it gets better!!